Armed and Dangerous
A Cheapskate Game Review
I wouldn’t exactly call myself a hardcore gamer. Even the title of casual gamer may be stretching it a bit thin if I consider the dozens of games I have loaded on my computer which I have just never finished. Even the big titles like Doom, Half Life and Quake have yet to roll their final credits to my benefit.
Of course that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy playing video games any less than the next person does. I love first person shooters, especially those set during the Second World War. I suppose being able to run gung-ho into a whole band of enemies, blasting away with whatever weapon I fancy will do the most damage, and still come out alive and kicking on the other side despite taking numerous hits is exactly what appeals to my level of skill and competence.
Why Armed and Dangerous is worth another review
So, when the opportunity arose to write a review of games that can be found in the bargain bin, I jumped at the chance of reviewing Armed and Dangerous. I know it was a hit in its day and has had more than its fair share of reviews. However, I only got to play the game a few years after its release and up until a friend of mine gave me his disks that were sitting on the shelf gathering dust, I had never heard of the game or seen it. Yet after the first cut scene and a few minutes into the game, I knew this one was a keeper and worth another mention, from hopefully a different perspective.
First, I must say it’s funny. It’s really, really funny. If you’re into Monty Python-esque British humour, then this one’s for you. It also has all the elements to it that I enjoy in the WWII genre I mentioned:
- Buddies that tag along for most of the game to help me out of tight spots or to take the heat when I get into one.
- Weapons that seem effective in almost all situations and are well… interesting to say the least.
- Ammunition that is always readily available and in abundance enough to sink the Titanic.
- The cursory compass to make sure I’m still running in the right direction or to at least show me when I’m well and truly lost.
- The ability to save anywhere in the game without having to wait for the end of the level or a predetermined place (which in this game is provided by means of a very conveniently placed English Pub).
There are other elements to the game that are well worth mentioning which I will reserve for the review.
Gameplay and graphics
Game: Armed and Dangerous
Publisher: LucasArts, Planet Moon Studio
Price: Can be found for under $10 on eBay and Amazon
Genre: Action/Shooter (Third person)
ESRB: T
Release Date USA: 12/02/2003
Platform: PC, XBox
The game plays through 21 levels which take you through various environments set against an almost medieval-meets-Star Wars theme and includes snow filled landscapes, majestic mountains, huge cliffs and deep dark woods.
The graphics, even for that time, are not all that fantastic. With today’s computers you should be able to crank all the settings up to high, and the game has good depth of field which allows you to see objects from far away. Coupled with the diverse and oddly futuristic landscape and the very fast pace of the game, you soon begin to overlook the graphics.
What is crappy though is the video quality of the cut scenes. To me these are the highlight of the game. Planet Moon could have definitely put a bit more effort towards the graphical quality seeing as there are quite a number of these interludes and they take up a fair slice of the game. The voice acting, though, is brilliant and the characters have been perfectly captured with a skill that makes them come alive.
You get introduced to the characters right off the bat. They are made up of a motley bunch of rogues who call themselves the Lionhearts. You get to play Roman, the leader of the gang who is accompanied by Jonsey, a mole; Q, a tea toting robot; and Rexus, a blind, smelly runt with supposed mythical powers.
The game centers around the Lionhearts quest to retrieve the Book of Rule from the evil king Forge who rules over Milola. He wants to use its powers for his own evil ends. However, Rexus has put a spell on the book and all it contains at face value are instructions on basket weaving. Now the race is on to see if they can retrieve the book before the spell is broken by the Wildwood monks, thus revealing its true secrets. Along the way you get to use all sorts of cool weapons from the traditional; like rifles and machine guns, to the bizarre; like the shark launcher. It actually launches a shark which ‘swims’ underground and attacks its victims by coming up from the ground and swallowing them, accompanied by the cursory screams of terror.
Other weapons worth a mention are the bombs. The most common are the sticky bombs. I must say I used these extensively in my gameplay. They are readily available and highly effective, sticking to their target like glue before detonating. My favourite ploy is to throw them at the sheep or the penguins that always seem to be milling around. This causes them to run, bleating or squawking wildly towards a group of enemies, which are always plentiful in the game and detonate when it gets into the middle of them, sending bodies flying everywhere. Another bomb worth a mention is the Topsy Turvy bomb. It comes with a good set of handlebars and screws itself into the earth. Everything is then turned upside down and anyone not hanging on gets sucked up into the air. It’s a good weapon to have when the odds are really stacked up against you.
The Ole English Pub plays an important role in the gameplay and is found in every level. You get to swap weapons, top up your health, and save your game when you enter the pub. You’re also able to chug down a quick pint and catch up on the local gossip as overheard from the die-hard regulars who frequent the place. Keep a good ear out for snippets of conversation. The dialogue is hilarious and nobody’s dignity is spared.
The story
The storyline is fairly good as far as games go and starts with Roman, Jonsy and Q braving the icy tundra to fetch Rexus from his home, so they can recover the Book of Rule and ultimately fulfill the Majorcan prophecy. The humorous tone of the game is set almost immediately. Rexus uses every excuse he can so as not to leave home and asks who they think is going to look after his beloved dogs. The scene then cuts to his three dogs which he happens to have chained up outside in the sub-zero temperatures, frozen stiff as boards with weeks worth of food piled up next to them.
From there the game progresses to warmer climates in the search for the keys of Zardos which have been in the safekeeping of the Lady Of The Pond for over two thousand years. Of course the fact that she gets clunked on the head with a stone carelessly tossed over the pond by Jonsey the mole, does nothing to help the situation. Fortunately she leaves the keys behind as she runs screaming from the band of miscreants.
At this point in the game you would have expended thousands of rounds of ammunition, blown up countless buildings and towers, rescued a number of peasants, returning them to their thankless families, taken on Goliaths, giant machine gun toting robots and mowed down wave after wave of king Forge’s armies. You would also have had the opportunity to use the jet-pack which I found to be one of the coolest features in the game. It certainly beats running and gets you to where you want to be a lot faster than normal. At certain stages it is an essential item as you can only reach your destination by being airborne.
I would have liked it to be available in more stages of the game.
If you think that obtaining a bunch of keys that allow passage to the Glass Tower which is found in the mystic woods and ultimately the location of the Book of Rule, spells the end of the game, (as I did) you are sorely mistaken. It is revealed that Lilly, a simple peasant girl is to play an integral part in the fulfillment of the Majorcan prophecy and the band of Lionhearts set off on another quest to rescue her from her village.
At this point I must say that the levels become repetitive if not a bit tedious. Apart from the change in scenery, the same characters, same enemies, same weapons and obstacles are presented on every level of gameplay and if I hadn’t had the cut-scenes to look forward to and the fact that the game was relatively easy to get through, it would probably at this point have joined the other games I previously mentioned that never made it to the final credits.
So without revealing the entire story let’s fast forward to the end. Having used 17 outlandish weapons, 20,000 bullets (give or take a few thousand), 5 environments that span 21 levels and a lot of laughs in between, you finally get to learn the purpose of the Book of Rule and the role that Lilly plays in it. After a final level that sees Roman manning the gun turret that defends the city walls, the game ends abruptly. This follows a long epilogue that culminates in all the main characters gathering in the pub, having a round of warm English beer accompanied by a traditional sing along to “Save the last pint for me”.
The Good
- It’s cheap. Considering it was a hit in its day you able to pick up a premier game for less than $20 at most stores.
- The game is fast paced and packed with action. Your trigger finger never gets a rest for more than a few moments.
- It’s easy to play and the levels are not that difficult to get through. You are also able to collect various tokens throughout the game that unlock extra features and levels.
- The characters are diverse, unique to their personalities and the voice-overs are superb with enough one-liners and puns to keep you entertained throughout the game.
- The environments are well crafted and blend with the theme and futuristic tone of the game.
- The weapons are very simple to use and are as outlandish as the characters that wield them.
- The game is funny from beginning to end and if you’re into British humour this one’s a classic. In fact even if you’re not too keen on that sort of thing, just seeing what these misfits get up to in the cut-scenes is worth the watch and every cent you pay for the game.
The Bad
- The levels can get a bit monotonous and there are one or two places where the game makes it a bit tough to complete the level, even on easy.
- If you can get past the initial disappointment with the graphics, there isn’t any reason not to buy it. But don’t take my word for it, go out and get it!
Marks
Armed and Dangerous gets 4 out of 5 Spudz
