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The Shoes of E3

e3_shoes02

The clamor from the peanut gallery turned into a roar as our E3 visit approached. “Booth babes!” they yelled. “Hot chicks!” they shrieked. “Pics or GTFO!” they wailed.

I was tasked by the multitudes of horny Icrontians: Take pictures of hot chicks.

Sure, I can do that. But if I do, then you must know this:

I’m gonna do it my way.

The Nyko Girls. They had hair to match.

The Nyko Girls. They had hair to match.

I quickly realized how easy it was to find what I was looking for; not only was I surrounded by gorgeous women with amazing footwear, but when I walked up with my camera gear and asked if I could take pictures of their shoes, every single one of them said yes. Not only did they say yes, they practically jumped at the chance. I discovered something extremely important this week: Women are very proud of their shoes. They spend a lot of money on this important piece of their wardrobes, and when someone (especially a man) not only notices, but calls specific attention to them, they are thrilled.

I believe this was the first pair; the ones that inspired this idea

I believe this was the first pair; the ones that inspired this idea

The booth babes of E3 are usually given outfits, but only given general instruction as to their shoes (there are exceptions, such as the Ubisoft babes who were all to wear green Converse All-Stars). “Wear black high heels” or “wear black knee high boots,” for example. In a situation where these women are essentially being paid to be homogenized and objectified, this is their one remaining stanchion of defiance and personal style. Only their hair and their shoes are up to them, and that’s where we find blistering hotness.

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The THQ girls—Cork wedges are the Red Faction girl, and patent gladiator sandals are Darksiders.

Don’t get me wrong—booth babes are almost surely chosen for being stellar in most physical attributes, as well as their ability to be friendly with legions of geeky and awkward fans without acting creeped out (and trust me, my friends, there were plenty of guys that were creep-out-worthy in attendance), but there is just something about their choice of footwear that elevates them from mere models into the realm of scathing sexiness.

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Snakeskin gladiator sandals

These women stand on their feet all day, and yet they choose style over comfort; they make the sacrifice for the rare few that can truly appreciate the subtleties of what is going on here, and I am here to tell every single one of you gorgeous ladies: it was noble, and it was not lost on me. I appreciate it, from the bottom of my heart, and I am going to share that appreciation with my friends here on Icrontic. We are far more sophisticated than your average trolling fanboy nerd kids on other gaming sites; we are men and women of style and distinction, we know what you’ve done here, and we like it.

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Not only wedge heel All Stars, but also a very cute skirt

I didn’t stop at booth babes. There were vendors, PR people, and even the executive VP of Sales and Marketing for Nintendo, all wearing amazingly hot shoes. I will say this: Cammie Dunaway was the only woman at the entire show that I didn’t have the balls to stop to ask if I could photograph her shoes. I happened to be sharing an escalator with her while she was transporting a sandwich up to the Big N’s private enclave, and while I definitely noticed her excellent taste in shoes, I had a feeling she would have probably not been thrilled with the asking, and I am almost certain she would not have agreed to it. C’est la vie.

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The red piping was super hot

Regardless, I have no dearth of hot shoe pictures in my E3 collection. I stopped women on the street, women in clubs, women in the booths, and women on the show floor. As long as they had something to do with E3, I asked.

I am proud to say that I had the support of my teammates and friends in this quest. At first they giggled and snickered; once they saw that I was not only serious about it, but passionate, they started to warm up to the idea. By day 4, I had every single one of them on the lookout for me, pointing out potential winners, and even snapping some pics themselves.

Castle Crashers shoes by Jacob Patterson

Castle Crashers shoes by Jacob Patterson

I also had some support from unlikely sources; I walked up to a pretty girl in front of a club; she had pink heels with black polka dots and I asked if I could photograph them. Her boyfriend Jacob Patterson jumped in and volunteered some very interesting information: He had designed Castle Crashers heels, and would I be interested in seeing those as well? What could be more topical? It was as if the fates decreed that this meeting should occur. He sent me several pictures of the Castle Crashers shoes that he designed.

This is pro

This is pro

Another surprise arrived in the form of an exotic and beautiful woman named Russia; she was working the Microsoft Windows 7 Gaming demo a few blocks away from the convention center. Someone had mentioned to her that I had been photographing shoes and she perked up immediately. She told me that she had been people watching, and had also been taking note of the shoes people were wearing. That doesn’t really do it justice. Let me rephrase by saying that Russia was taking detailed statistics about distribution, style, color, and sex. Let me tell you: it is very refreshing to meet someone else that checks out people from the bottom to the top. I may have found my dream woman.

Pink + polka dots = win

Pink + polka dots = win

All in all, E3 was a fantastic place to go shoe watching. The number of stylish women in attendance was pleasantly surprising, and the variety and sexiness of their shoes just goes to show that this is not a hobby just for sloppy, Cheetoh-encrusted basement nerds. This is a growing industry, and that means room for people of all stripes; even hot girls with sexy shoes.

More shoes after the jump.

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41 Comments:

  1. fatcat
    sasquatch wannabe

    now where is the "match the face with the shoes" article?

  2. rolleggroll
    Love by the TSA

    I love those leg-warmers.

  3. _k_
    deep in the bush

    Where is the hair of E3?

  4. Exactly K!

  5. pseudonym
    Faster than you!

    You. Have. Issues.

    But they are awesome issues I must admit.

  6. DocFrazier
    Corpsman Up!!

    freiken awsome!

  7. UPSLynx
    The Dean of Computer Graphics

    Early in the week I was skeptical.

    By the end of the week, things changed.

    Icrontic. You have changed my life. I don't know if I'm happy about that. But changes, nonetheless.

    Oh and I do appreciate the shoutout. But I must make note that the Ubisoft girls were not just wearing green chucks, they were wearing High-top All Stars of all colors. I saw blue, green, black, red...

    And the picture below that one... all I can say (in the voice of the Heavy):

    LYNX IS CREDIT TO SHOE ARTICLE

  8. RyderOCZ
    OCZ Guru / IC Groupie
    Where is the hair of E3?

    Thrax did not attend.

  9. If I wear hot shoes, can I come to E3 next year?

  10. Brian Ambrozy
    The Icrontic Guy
  11. fatcat
    sasquatch wannabe
    No.

    Same answer with CES'10.

  12. UPSLynx
    The Dean of Computer Graphics

    wutadicks!

  13. chrisWhite
    Polygons

    Prime's lost it ;-)

  14. UPSLynx
    The Dean of Computer Graphics
    Prime's lost it ;-)

    He'd like us to think that, but in the background he's really twiddling his fingers together and murming 'all is going according to plans'

    Before we know it we'll all learn to appreciate shoes. And that is when his dark work shall begin.

  15. I'm on the phone with Prime, and he just said that I can go. Woo!!!

  16. fatcat
    sasquatch wannabe
    I'm on the phone with Prime, and he just said that I can go. Woo!!!

    /me cancels flight

  17. UPSLynx
    The Dean of Computer Graphics

    /ragequit IC

  18. Brian Ambrozy
    The Icrontic Guy

    She's embellishing

  19. jokerz4fun
    Jokerz4fun

    She is the reason IC doesn't have nice things!!!

  20. WagsFTW
    Icrontic's Sexy Librarian™

    Wow. I'm impressed with the amount of hot shoes there! Awesome! You can definitely see the popularity of gladiators, and it looks like legwarmers are making a comeback, eh?

  21. I say GQ can Go! she is hella fun to play TF2 with!

  22. Cliff_Forster
    Keepin it real

    What does it say about me if I kinda dig the high heel Chucks?

  23. She's embellishing

    I am not. You said I could!

  24. * fatcat cancels flight
    /ragequit IC
    She is the reason IC doesn't have nice things!!!

    Whatever, I'm going to go, do an awesome job, and I don't need any of you!!

  25. I say GQ can Go! she is hella fun to play TF2 with!

    Thank you fellow Gnome

  26. Buddy J
    Dept. of Propaganda

    Lame. Show me smiling faces, not feet.

  27. Thrax
    Cad
  28. RyderOCZ
    OCZ Guru / IC Groupie
    ^ This.

    You just want to see hair.. GTFO

  29. Thrax
    Cad

    Hair and faces.

  30. Kwitko
    Sheriff of Dicktown

    How about everything from hair down to feet?

  31. WagsFTW
    Icrontic's Sexy Librarian™
    How about everything from hair down to feet?

    I can agree with that.

  32. Black Hawk
    Metaphysically wrinkle free
  33. UPSLynx
    The Dean of Computer Graphics
    What does it say about me if I kinda dig the high heel Chucks?

    It says you have taste, my man.

  34. Thrax
    Cad

    @Black_Hawk:

    Resize or gtfo.

  35. Brian Ambrozy
    The Icrontic Guy

    Don't thread crap. Make your own story!

  36. Thrax
    Cad

    I'm crappin'. Deal with it, homeslice.

  37. Zuntar
    Modder extraordinaire

    The sad side of this is....

    There I was on stage at church 7:45AM this past Sunday morning ready to sing (yes, I can and I'm in the worship choir) when the rather nice looking young lady that stands in front of me walks up on stage with a black blouse w/ white poka-dots, white slacks, and High heel shoes that match her blouse exactly. What runs though my mind? Man I wish i could get a picture for Prime!!

  38. Brian Ambrozy
    The Icrontic Guy

    AT CHURCH, NO LESS! Kudos and hats off to you, sir. Hats off.

  39. Zuntar
    Modder extraordinaire

    Not saying I'm proud of my thought pattern as i clearly know I am a work in progress, just would never have thunk it before.

  40. Brian Ambrozy
    The Icrontic Guy

    Well worry not; I'm proud for you!

  41. UPSLynx
    The Dean of Computer Graphics

    It's spreading, infectious, we're all doomed.

    Though I have to say, I do ultimately side with Thrax on the hair department. Notably, shorter styles.

    And eyes. Eyes get me every time.

Hey, be nice. Icrontic is full of good people, we promise.

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