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TL;DR: something is wrong with the assignment servers for those with >6 CPU boxes. If you have an 8 or more core box, please change the slot setting to 6 CPUs until resolved or your CPU clients will not get any units assigned.
In other news, I'm back online with one rig. The other would be highly affected by this problem so will likely go to parts. I'll scrounge up a new GPU out of that
Right-click on the folding icon -> advanced control
Configure -> Slots -> select CPU and click edit
Change the number under CPUs from -1 (most likely) to 6
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