the topfive.com website creates a humor list every day.
I couldnt resist sharing todays.
September 19, 2003
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
Today, September 19, is "Talk Like a Pirate Day."
Seriously! Check it out:
Always socially conscious, we here at TopFive thought
we'd help out by offering you a nice long list of
pirate-like things you can say around your workplace.
The Top 25 Things to Say at Work on Talk Like a Pirate Day
25> "No cover sheet on your expense report? Prepare yerself to be
walking the plank, matey."
24> "Hop to it, dogs: Thar be leftover catering booty in the break
room for plunderin'."
23> "Sixteen men an' a copier mess -- yo, ho, ho and a bottle of
22> "Avast, men! Get a telescope full of the doubloons on *that*
21> "I'll be keelhaulin' the next one of ye what leaves ye filthy
Tupperware in the break room sink!"
20> "Arrr, matey, have your parrot call my parrot and we'll
one day partake of noontime grub together."
19> "No, Bob, I will not 'shiver your timbers.' I will, however,
call my attorney."
18> "To arms, me lads! The spoils of the snack machine shall be
ours, to each in a fortieth share!"
17> "Me cell phone fell deep into Davy Jones' locker!
Nobody flush... I'll go get me hook."
16> "Save that last donut for me, unless ya care to feel the
cold steel of my hook hand up yer arse, matey."
15> "Be that a peg leg, or arrr ye just happy to cast yer eyes
14> "Fax ahoy, mateys!"
13> "Avast! A Team Builders meeting off our schedule's port bow!
Scuttle yer productivity, mateys, and prepare to be bored-ed!"
12> "No increase in me pay? Arrr, boss, let me tell ye where ye
can store that hook!"
11> "Hold that elevator, ye whoreson bilge rat!"
10> "Ye bent my ear with yer lubberly questions WITHOUT tryin'
a reboot first? Arrr! It's the plank for you, ye mangy
cur... and thank ye for calling Microsoft Tech Support!"
9> "Arrr, load the Canon, wench, and collate me copies!"
8> "Avast, ya scurvy knave! Brave be ye, for certain, but arrr
ye willin' ta die fer that parking spot?"
7> "Twenty paces past the Magic Fountain of Water... bear ye
left past the Chamber of Meetings... and a minute's voyage
down the Great Carpeted Hallway... the unisex bathroom'll
be on yer port side."
6> "Aye, if it's a large treasure chest and amazin' booty ye
seek, fix yer gaze upon the receptionist."
5> "Boss, I'll be borrowin' a coupla doubloons from petty cash
fer some Ho Ho's and a bottle of rum."
4> "Aaaarrrrrghhh! Who among us floated the air mead?"
3> "Arrr! I've arrr!anged for Arrr!lene in arrr!chives to send
up that arrr!ticle on arrr!bitration."
2> "Avast, ye demon copy machine! Taste the wrath of my arse!"
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Thing to
Say at Work on Talk Like a Pirate Day...
1> "Arrr, I have made note of yer demands and I have but one
question for ye: Will ye be wantin' slivers o' potato fried
in the popular French style with that?"
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]