This is why you're single.

djmeph

Ivan

djmeph

Thrax

The earth...

djmeph

Thrax said:

The earth...

UPSLynx

Holy crap, Earth? Really?

Oh internet, you so crazy.

Canti

Earth is way bigger than the sun. Proof - you can see the whole sun, you can not see the whole Earth.

djmeph

Judging by her answer to the second question, I'm pretty sure she thinks the Sun revolves around the Earth.

UPSLynx

wait, I just noticed - this site gives you an enemy percentage?

djmeph

Yeah, you can answer a question, you can say what answers you would accept from the other person, and how important it is to you. For instance, it is very important to me that the girl I'm dating understand the Sun is bigger than the Earth, so that particular answer increased her enemy percentage.

This is why OKCupid is so awesome. There are many tools you can use to filter out people you know you'd be incompatible with from the very beginning.

Snarkasm

They have some great questions, too. Belief in dinosaurs, evolution, religion, etc are all tested. There are even math problems.

djmeph

it should also be pointed out that okcupid used to be the spark.

PirateNinja

I'd suggest real life dating and finding all this information out the classic hard way. You may find the love of your life has a completely different view on religion than you. You don't want to find yourself dating dj meph with tits and no beard.
Anyways, earf is pretty big.

primesuspect

PirateNinja said:

I'd suggest real life dating and finding all this information out the classic hard way.

I'm gonna chime in here for a minute.

I heard this a lot when I was single for so long. I'd like to make a point.

Guys like me and DJ Meph are extremely social. I mean, I was out there a lot, hanging out, going to events, being outgoing, social, meeting strangers, talking to everyone. My single years were the years I got into Twitter and the thriving Detroit social media scene. Believe me, I was out there. Somehow, with all this magical outgoing behavior in the thriving Detroit social scene, I remained single for years and years.

Norm is even more social than me. This guy DJs at gigs, travels, plans parties, he is hot on the scene.

There's something you're missing, and it's a vital part of the "big guys" dating scene, and it's something not a lot of people talk about: Most women are just as shallow as men. They make snap judgments about a person based on his weight, his look, whatever.

My point is: It's MUCH, much harder for a fat guy to find a date "in the real world" than it is for a guy who is physically attractive right off the bat, no matter what our other redeeming qualities are.

While I didn't meet Nicole on OkCupid, she DID scope me out online before agreeing to meet with me; she liked my OkCupid profile, my pictures showed that I was silly and fun, etc.

If Norm wants my advice, which he may not because he didn't ask, it would be to continue using OKCupid, because it rocks.

Thrax

I'd suggest real life dating and finding all this information out the classic hard way.

:rolleyes: Times change. Dating changes. Telling people to do "real life dating" is patronizing and ignorant.

djmeph

i am not that narrow-minded that i wouldn't date someone with different beliefs than me. however, i feel it's important to know where they stand. if there is a hell, i am surely going there after i die. a religious woman who believes in hell is going to eventually resent our religious differences somewhere down the road, when she starts to think about the afterlife and how we will be separated by death. i've seen it happen before to many married couples and it always ends in mysery. i don't think i'm missing out on anything by trying to prevent that from happening.

PirateNinja

ouch my bad ... something was lost in translation and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound like a dick. I did online dating in the past too .. my comment wasn't about that. I wrote it poorly.
What I meant was to give people a chance even if they don't share the same meta data, and online databases like this make it really easy to quickly discard people.

QCH

I know of 3 MARRIED couples that found love through dating sites. I do not want a carbon copy of me. Noell is NOT anywhere close to a carbon copy of me. However, even after knowing her for 3 years before marriage, there are things I am still finding out that are kind of big deals. We roll with them because of our history and willingness to adapt. However, it is something we have to deal with and are a sore spot. There are many things that would make our relationship better if those would have been discovered and worked out beforehand.

For instance... I am spiritual but NOT in anyway comfortable with "Structured Religion Inc." and it has caused fights. I am VERY liberal in many ways but also VERY conservative in a few ways. She is middle of the road...

So... as long as using those online sites do not require you to marry anyone they state is compatible, it's just an ice breaker. You act like an ass on your first date, you might very well make that 90% compatible become 20%.

Jokke

Two words in one: Craigslist.

MAGIC

Blind luck.

Tushon

As a partially related aside: thoughts on messages from girls/guys you consider unattractive/do not like what you see on profile or answers, etc. Should you return something or nothing?

Annes

Something. But not a bitchy something like that jerkboat above. A tactful response.

Also, I think differing religions is a no-go if you ever want to have children. The arguments about whether or not to raise them religious could easily rip a relationship apart.

Tushon

Thanks Annes.

PirateNinja

Tushon said:

As a partially related aside: thoughts on messages from girls/guys you consider unattractive/do not like what you see on profile or answers, etc. Should you return something or nothing?

This is exactly what I was trying to say shouldn't happen (just in my opinion). I think you should give people a chance and take them out to really find out what they are about. To just say well they are in to X and I'm in to Y, it will never work is a bit silly .. again in my opinion. I don't know much about anything, but I do think the if it will work out or not takes more than just looking over a profile and giving the thumbs up or down. I think people need to agree to meet up or have some conversation before they make that decision, otherwise they could easily miss out. Everything depends, and there are no simple answers when it comes to differences. That's all I got.

BobbyDigi

Thread

TLDR; Never Judge a Book By It's Cover, Even the Jacket Notes. Read The First Chapter.

Tushon

PirateNinja said:

This is exactly what I was trying to say shouldn't happen (just in my opinion). I think you should give people a chance and take them out to really find out what they are about. To just say well they are in to X and I'm in to Y, it will never work is a bit silly .. again in my opinion. I don't know much about anything, but I do think the if it will work out or not takes more than just looking over a profile and giving the thumbs up or down. I think people need to agree to meet up or have some conversation before they make that decision, otherwise they could easily miss out. Everything depends, and there are no simple answers when it comes to differences. That's all I got.

I definitely get that, and I'm not necessarily getting at "we disagree about this on the question that someone wrote and worded a certain way" and more of a "I'm in no way attracted to this person but they messaged me, so what is nicer: nothing or a nice reply stating not interested".

djmeph

I am also not of the belief that there is one perfect person out there for me. In fact, I'm pretty sure there are many semi-perfect people out there who have their own thing going on, and eventually I'll commit to one if we can figure out how to make our independent lives work together.