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The 'Cool Story, Dovahkiin' Thread

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  • UPSLynxUPSLynx Top EA shill, The Dean of Computer Graphics Redwood City, CA Icrontian
    edited Dec 2011
    :approve::jokke:
  • IlriyasIlriyas The Syrupy Canadian Toronto, Ontario Icrontian
    edited Dec 2011
    I don't know where to show this but this seems as good a location as any as it (sorta) qualifies as a cool story.

    Just read this on the escapist and it sort of relates to the current topic.

    http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/114443-Creepy-Skyrim-Serial-Killer-Keeps-Heads-on-Shelves
  • GargoyleGargoyle Purveyor of Lincoln Nightmares Illinois Icrontian
    edited Dec 2011
    Fuck. Can't wait to hear about how video games make men abuse women after this gets passed around.
  • IlriyasIlriyas The Syrupy Canadian Toronto, Ontario Icrontian
    edited Dec 2011
    Gargoyle wrote:
    Fuck. Can't wait to hear about how video games make men abuse women after this gets passed around.

    100% guaranteed some nut-job is going to make an issue of it.
  • CBCB Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ @TheButterflyman Icrontian
    edited Dec 2011
    So, I walked into this small town far to the west in Whiterun Hold, and said hello to the guard there, as I passed the town sign.

    "Don't I know you?" he said.

    "Yeah, bro!" I replied emphaticaly, "I'm the freekin Dovahkiin!"

    "No," he said, sure of himself, "It's something else."

    "No that's really all I'm known for, dude. I steal dragon souls and -"

    "I got it!" he interrupted, "You're that guy who was accosted by a fugitive out by Kreekolgd's Keep!"

    "Oh," I said a bit put off, "I mean yeah, I guess that happened, but how could you possibly know that?"

    "I heard... from a ... guy..."

    "Riiiight."

    "No, totally!" he was getting excited, "You were approached by a fugitive up in the hills, and he gave you an axe to hold!"

    Yeah, bro, but nobody was -"

    "Then when he threatened you to do as he said, you shot him in the back as he ran off!"

    "Well, uh -"

    "And then a few minutes later the hunter who was after him came by, and you let him know what happened, but then you tried to steal his gold pouch!"

    "I mean, I guess that's -"

    "and when he got mad about it, you shot him right in his stupid face!"

    "Well, I didn't really want -"

    "It's totally you! You murdered two people in cold blood out on a hilltop somewhere, and left their corpses to be claimed by the rats!"

    "Look, bro -"

    "You're gonna have to pay a fine." he said then, suddenly serious.

    "Okay," I said, relieved that his torrent of words was finally at an end, "How much?"

    "25 Septums for attempted pickpocketing."

    "I'm not in trouble for the murder?"

    "Nah, I don't wanna bust your balls, man! Just pay the fine, and I'll let you go."

    I hand over the coins. It really is a paltry sum, but I can't help but ask again. "There was no one around when that happened, bro, and both witnesses are dead, how did you really find out about it?"

    "Find out about what, dude?"

    "Ummm... that story you just told me that you couldn't possibly have known about?"

    "I don't know what you're - HOLY AKATOSH! You're the Dovahkiin, aren't you!"

    I stared at him then for a moment in bewilderment.

    "I thought I recognized you!" he said.
  • fatcatfatcat Mizzou Icrontian
    edited Dec 2011
    haha CB, yup.

    I used the Talos shrine to avoid becoming a vampire, then went outside and was attacked by Thalmor Justiciars. once they were dead I found the note that said I was an enemy of the Thalmor and to kill me on site...

    Now I'm trying to find the snitch in Whiterun who told on me so I can kill a bitch
  • UPSLynxUPSLynx Top EA shill, The Dean of Computer Graphics Redwood City, CA Icrontian
    edited Dec 2011
    hahaha. I love CB's stories. So much bro going on.
  • KoreishKoreish I'm a penguin, deal with it. KCMO Icrontian
    edited Dec 2011
    So I don't have any cool adventuring stories yet but I do have a weird glitch story. I was leaving a cave after just killing a master vampire and the game tells me I leveled up. However it says that I grew to level two. Going into the cave I was level 23. I have all my perks all my skills are as they should be, but I had completely restarted my level over again.

    I'm thinking of restarting cause I feel that while a bonus to me it's game breaking as I now get an extra 23 perks that I shouldn't normally have and that no-one else will get unless they luck out similarly.
  • I-need-a-better-nameI-need-a-better-name Austin Member
    edited Dec 2011
    Koreish wrote:

    I'm thinking of restarting cause I feel that while a bonus to me it's game breaking as I now get an extra 23 perks that I shouldn't normally have and that no-one else will get unless they luck out similarly.
    You can't load from about two saves back?
  • primesuspectprimesuspect Beepin n' Boopin Detroit, MI Icrontian
    edited Dec 2011
    I have a habit of going into my house in Riften and unloading all my ingredients into a paticular chest for later when I feel like doing alchemy. I do this so often that it's become an automatic thing. I go into the basement, hit "E" to open the chest, click "Ingredients" and then repeatedly tap "R" to drop all the ingredients into the chest.

    I had a huge load of ingredients—I had been out for a while. So there I am sitting there pounding "R", watching all the ingredients disappear off my list while my mind wandered.

    Suddenly I realized that I was going individually through 17 wisp wrappings. "Wait," I thought. "Doesn't it usually ask me how many I want to put in the chest?"

    That's when I realized that I had been hitting "E" instead of "R". I ate all of my ingredients.

    All of them. Sans the wisp wrappings.
  • I-need-a-better-nameI-need-a-better-name Austin Member
    edited Dec 2011
    That's when I realized that I had been hitting "E" instead of "R". I ate all of my ingredients.

    All of them. Sans the wisp wrappings.
    Load previous save, mistake averted.
  • TushonTushon I'm scared, Coach Alexandria, VA Icrontian
    edited Dec 2011
    You can't load from about two saves back?

    This, or if that doesn't work, you can probably set your level via a console command.
  • SnarkasmSnarkasm Madison, WI Icrontian
    edited Dec 2011
    A different version of the chest story:

    I knew I was going to have to face the music in Solitude if I ever wanted to get back into my house, so I dropped all my stuff - literally everything except my gold - into a chest in the Dark Brotherhood's joint. For some reason I thought there was no way I was getting out of jail time for *that* little escapade, so I just ditched everything in a safe place and fast-traveled my way to Solitude.

    Just inside the door, the guard accosts me. "You! You have committed crimes against the Empire, and you must be brought to justice!" Resigned to my fate, I prepare myself to be hauled off to jail when I notice-

    "All right, I'll pay the fine. (1500 gold)"

    You're joking. I
    Spoiler:
    , and it's only 1500 gold to get off the hook?

    Done.

    The part where the chest comes in, though: I fast-traveled back to the DB joint, opened the chest, and hit "take all." The din from the clanking of all of my potions as they flew at light speed back into my pockets lasted a good 7 seconds. I... think I have a few.
  • UPSLynxUPSLynx Top EA shill, The Dean of Computer Graphics Redwood City, CA Icrontian
    edited Dec 2011
    Hah, Prime's character is a closet glutton eating all of the things.

    Andy, how many save states do you have? I have 12.
  • I-need-a-better-nameI-need-a-better-name Austin Member
    edited Dec 2011
    UPSLynx wrote:
    Hah, Prime's character is a closet glutton eating all of the things.

    Andy, how many save states do you have? I have 12.

    I'm down to hurt a few after pruning them. I have one for each of my inactive chars and about 4 manual ones for my current. They come in handy when, for instance, your game glitches and your wife will no longer follow you since she's stuck in the temple of Talos in Markarth.
  • SnarkasmSnarkasm Madison, WI Icrontian
    edited Dec 2011
    You mean discrete saves?

    Jesus, I have 150+ on my one char. I literally saw save number 150 go by a couple days ago.
  • TushonTushon I'm scared, Coach Alexandria, VA Icrontian
    edited Dec 2011
    Snarkasm wrote:
    You mean discrete saves?

    Jesus, I have 150+ on my one char. I literally saw save number 150 go by a couple days ago.

    Yeah, I'm in the 170s. I need to delete a bunch of them.
  • TiberiusLazarusTiberiusLazarus Icrontian
    edited Dec 2011
    Walk 30 steps, look over edge of hill. F5. Kill a room of Draugr. F5.

    Die. Load latest quick/autosave.

    Create new character. Load last save and make a single manual save.

    I have maybe 10 saves.
  • I-need-a-better-nameI-need-a-better-name Austin Member
    edited Dec 2011
    On the pc in the console type "save <charactername>" when you have an important save.

    On, I also go into third person and pose with my follower. Makes the saves easy to keep track of.
  • fatcatfatcat Mizzou Icrontian
    edited Dec 2011
    I have the settings setup to save every 5 minutes.

    Divided by 82 hours... you get the point
  • UPSLynxUPSLynx Top EA shill, The Dean of Computer Graphics Redwood City, CA Icrontian
    edited Dec 2011
    I always have a 'thing' in these games. A collection, of sorts. In Skyrim, I've decided that I would scour the countryside for the best drink in all the lands. Mead, wine, ale, if it's booze, I want it. I've toured various meaderies in search of the best drinks, and whenever I see something I've yet to taste, I drink one down and take a few bottles home with me.

    I'm a virtual connoisseur.

    I've also collected fine drinking mugs, steins, and goblets. Whenever I come across a cup of a new and unique style, I must have it in my collection. My prized cup thus far is an anchient dwenmer mug found in the back of some old ruins.

    Last night I came home after combing Skyrim for new booze. I unloaded my collection, and finally got around to purchasing some shelving for my home. Exhausted, I opened my stash to find my many different bottles and drinkwares. I moved them all over to my fancy new shelf, and after a quick FOOS to clean off the plates and other crap previously placed on there, began the painstaking process of organzing my fine booze alphabetically in rows.

    Discord, my Redguard, is not the most delicate of creatures. Sure, he can cleave a head clean off with a mace, but when it comes to standing bottles upright in rows on a shelf, it is as if you're dealing with an infant. He grabbed each bottle, shook it around in the air until gravity (or lack thereof) orientated the bottle vertically, then with a soft release of the E key, drops the bottle in place. It took Discord 30 minutes just to get the meads in place. I don't even want to talk about the Ales and wine bottles.

    Happy with the eventual success of organization, I looked upon my collection and beamed. I was going to throw a badass party one day with these wares. With that, I gathered up my weapons, woke up Brelyna, and hit the road, leaving my booze in the watchful trust of Lidya.

    A few days later I returned home to Whiterun, battered and sleepy. I had acquired new booze though (including a rare bottle of Black-briar Special Reserve Mead!), and I couldn't wait to add them to my shelf.

    Which is why I was stunned to open the door to my cozy home only to find some plates and a vase shoved into the shelves where my booze once was. Littered around the floor were my many bottles, broken and contaminated. Waste, all around me. Most of my once grand collection were missing (I would later find out they were sitting in the bottom of the ash in my home's fire pit). Livid and shocked, I ran up to ask Lidya what had happened. Lidya was nowhere to be found.

    GMbY1l.jpg

    I was left with a broken home, shattered booze, and a missing housecarl. Perhaps she ran off with some dude she met at the bar, stealing some booze and wrecking the rest in payback for me having run off with Brelyna instead of her.

    I'll probably never know why, but now I begin the long cleanup process. Time to trek the frigid countryside once more in seach of fine booze. A man's gotta have hobbies in this crazy world.
  • KoreishKoreish I'm a penguin, deal with it. KCMO Icrontian
    edited Dec 2011
    By the time I'm done with Skyrim I will be the most educated woman in all of Tamriel. I have taken it upon myself to not only read every book I come across but to take it as well and add it to an ever growing library. The City of White-Run has no material left with which to read save for a loan charred book that was difficult to make out much of the text.
  • fatcatfatcat Mizzou Icrontian
    edited Dec 2011
    I finally had enough money to get Proudspire Manor

    450px-SR-Place-ProudspireManor_Exterior.jpg
  • I-need-a-better-nameI-need-a-better-name Austin Member
    edited Dec 2011
    fatcat wrote:
    I finally had enough money to get Proudspire Manor
    I prefer the house in Windhelm despite it's horrific history.
  • NiGHTSNiGHTS San Diego Icrontian
    edited Dec 2011
    The mental image of a dragonborn cleaning clutter from his home by yelling FOOS is pretty entertaining.

    MY GODS! You speak the ancient language of the dragons and possess unyielding power! How will you use it, you magnificent bastard, you!

    "Oh...I uh, well I kinda find it useful for cleaning actually. I find a good FOOS gets my clothing into a pile in the corner and blows the stench of my laundry out of the house. Kinda useful, actually."
  • TushonTushon I'm scared, Coach Alexandria, VA Icrontian
    edited Dec 2011
    I refer whirlwind sprint to get the stench out. Also good for clearing out those pesky sparrows that nest in your rafters.
  • NiGHTSNiGHTS San Diego Icrontian
    edited Dec 2011
    I'd cropdust with whirlwind sprint. Imagine all the victims you'd be able to get in one pass through a crowded room...

    muhahhaha
  • I-need-a-better-nameI-need-a-better-name Austin Member
    edited Dec 2011
    My Nord warrior is a bit of a Dwemerphile. I love entering the ruins and moseying around down there to see what those crazy dwarves got up to. I also like to melt down scrap metal and make armor and weapons out of them. Well, last night I went looking for some scroll in a "tower" that's underground. I ended up in the most beautiful place I've ever seen. The fungus was glowing, there were red nirnroot (RED!) and a giant doing laps around a jogging track. I'm not much of an alchemist but some dead dude had a journal talking about how cool those red nirnroots were and I decided to go snag some and bring them to some chick he was working with. Some people might call that boring but I really had a blast going around looking for them, killing Falmers and generally poking around in an ancient dwarven underground city. If you ever find yourself in that neck of the woods you should see the sights. Amazing stuff!
  • SnarkasmSnarkasm Madison, WI Icrontian
    edited Dec 2011
    Proudspire is the only place I've bought. Decked that shit out, too.

    But yeah, I hate overwriting old saves, and I frequently save before choices so I can go back and change if I want to. Just kinda... stacks up.
  • JokkeJokke Bergen, Norway Icrontian
    edited Dec 2011
    Snarkasm wrote:
    But yeah, I hate overwriting old saves, and I frequently save before choices so I can go back and change if I want to. Just kinda... stacks up.

    I do that too, but then I say "F*** it, I made a choice, I better live with it."
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