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Lets get punny

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Comments

  • lulufitzgeraldlulufitzgerald Milford, Ohio Icrontian

    Why do chicken coops only have two doors?

    Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!

    Creeperbane2PirateNinja
  • lulufitzgeraldlulufitzgerald Milford, Ohio Icrontian

    What time did the man go to the dentist?

    Tooth hurt-y

    oni_dels
  • HeroHero formerly known as XGPHero Icrontian
    edited Apr 2015

    what do you do with 365 used condoms?

    melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear

    Creeperbane2oni_delsUrbanJediWill
  • lulufitzgeraldlulufitzgerald Milford, Ohio Icrontian

    What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?

    Mitosis!

    oni_dels
  • lulufitzgeraldlulufitzgerald Milford, Ohio Icrontian

    I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

    How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

    What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back for seconds.

  • KwitkoKwitko Sheriff of Banning (Retired) By the thing near the stuff Icrontian

    UrbanJediWill
  • RyderRyder Kalamazoo, Mi Icrontian

    I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

    I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

    This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

    oni_delsZanthian
  • vaderisahottievaderisahottie Indiana New

    I served this guy Woodford on the rocks last night. When I came back to the table he was holding the glass above his head. I asked him if everything was okay. His response, "Meh, just trying to lift my spirits."

    AlexDeGruvenAnnesUrbanJediWill
  • primesuspectprimesuspect Beepin n' Boopin Detroit, MI Icrontian

    To this entire thread: Boo, I say. Boo.

    Creeperbane2
  • KwitkoKwitko Sheriff of Banning (Retired) By the thing near the stuff Icrontian

    Clearly when it comes to puns, he doesn't know shit from Shinola.

    DontCallMeKelso_k
  • lulufitzgeraldlulufitzgerald Milford, Ohio Icrontian

    Why do mummies make excellent spies?
    They're good at keeping things under wraps.

    Why did the mummy call the doctor?
    Because he was coffin.

    What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
    Squash.

  • lulufitzgeraldlulufitzgerald Milford, Ohio Icrontian

    RyderZanthian
  • BobbyDigiBobbyDigi ? R U #Hats ! SoCal Icrontian

    -Digi

    lulufitzgerald
  • trooster89trooster89 Are you from London? Icrontian

    @primesuspect said:
    To this entire thread: Boo, I say. Boo.

    I was saying Boo-urns.

    I know its not a bun, but I couldn't help the reference

  • lulufitzgeraldlulufitzgerald Milford, Ohio Icrontian

    I'm close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y.

    Snarkasmoni_dels
  • lulufitzgeraldlulufitzgerald Milford, Ohio Icrontian

    A man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy.

    BobbyDigi
  • primesuspectprimesuspect Beepin n' Boopin Detroit, MI Icrontian

    :facepalm:

    UrbanJediWilloni_dels
  • UrbanJediWillUrbanJediWill Jedi Knight Southern California Member

    What did the headlines say when the diminutive fortune teller broke out of prison?
    "SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE"

    One day, a panda walks into a bar, sits down, and orders lunch. The bartender thinks this is a little weird, but not the strangest thing he's seen, so he fixes the panda's lunch and sends a waiter to bring it to him. The panda thanks the waiter, and spends the next 20 minutes or so eating his lunch quietly. Then, as the panda is finishing his meal, the waiter brings him his check. The panda, upon receiving the bill, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead, right in the middle of the restaurant. Then he calmly stands up and starts to walk out. The bartender, stunned, calls out, "What the hell did you do that for?!?" The panda turns around and says, "I'm a PANDA. Look it up!" And walks out. The bartender, not knowing what else to do, grabs a nearby encyclopedia and looks under 'p' for panda. There in the entry, it says "Panda. An Asian mammal, related to bears. Eats shoots and leaves."

    And my sister's all time favorite: what did the dalai lama say to the hot dog vendor? "Make me one with everything!"

    And not necessarily a pun joke, but one I am desperately looking for excuses to use:
    "Knock-knock!"
    "It's open!"

  • alberioalberio Toronto Member

    Ok, These are evil! So more evil ....

    **
    All the good chemistry puns Argon.**

    UrbanJediWill
  • BobbyDigiBobbyDigi ? R U #Hats ! SoCal Icrontian

    How much did the pirate pay to get his ear pierced?

    a buccaneer

    -Digi

    oni_dels
  • primesuspectprimesuspect Beepin n' Boopin Detroit, MI Icrontian

    Did you guys hear about the chameleon who couldn't change colors?

    He had a reptile dysfunction

    BobbyDigilulufitzgeraldoni_dels
  • KwitkoKwitko Sheriff of Banning (Retired) By the thing near the stuff Icrontian
  • primesuspectprimesuspect Beepin n' Boopin Detroit, MI Icrontian
  • primesuspectprimesuspect Beepin n' Boopin Detroit, MI Icrontian

    I was sitting at a bar and I overheard a story of the past, present, and future.

    It was tense.

    oni_dels
  • BobbyDigiBobbyDigi ? R U #Hats ! SoCal Icrontian

    -Digi

  • primesuspectprimesuspect Beepin n' Boopin Detroit, MI Icrontian
    edited Apr 2016

    Did you guys hear about the explosion at the cheese factory?

    There was debris everywhere

    oni_dels
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