The 'Cool Story, Dovahkiin' Thread

2456

Comments

  • SnarkasmSnarkasm Madison, WI Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    If I could get to the point where I can get a house, I'd just leave her there (along with all the awesome loot I can never get rid of) and go it alone no problemo.
  • FitzkriegFitzkrieg British Columbia
    edited November 2011
    You see, companions just screw me up. They get detected, kite enemies into me while I'm stealthed, and they can DIE.

    But I have found a companion that will never die and will never piss me off by blowing my cover in dungeons.

    His name is Shadowmere.
  • SnarkasmSnarkasm Madison, WI Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    That's kind of what I mean. Sure, she's all right in a fight, but she dies after like 3 swings (maybe more after the sweet Dwarven armor I made her), and generally I just leave her behind, go stabby stabby, and then get her back. I keep her more as a workhorse to carry valuable things than as a useful contributor.

    Normal?
  • CBCB Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Der Millionendorf- Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    Snarkasm wrote:
    Normal?

    I never take companions in these games. The only exception was in New Vegas, where the companions could not permanently die, and one of them was humorously voiced by Felicia Day.

    -

    Anyway: My 'cool story' from last play session:

    I came upon some folks who were standing around a dead giant, bristling with weapons, and one of them was like "Why didn't you help us kill this giant, bro? You know they're bad news, right?"

    and I was all like "Sure thing lady, but I think I was about five miles away, searching for things to steal in the attic of a lumber mill, when you killed that giant, and have no idea who you are, nor any way of knowing this fight was going on."

    so, she was like, "well, even though you're a gigantic douche for not helping us kill this giant, you should still join our beat-things-with-swords organization."

    So I said "sure thing lady"

    and she said "whatever, bro"

    and then I hit on her friend, but she wouldn't have any of it.
  • SnarkasmSnarkasm Madison, WI Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    Ah, you found the Companions outside of Whiterun. :) They do that to everybody. You actually, as far as I can tell, can't help them. By the time you get there, he's always dead - at least in my playthroughs so far.
  • primesuspectprimesuspect Beepin n' Boopin Detroit, MI Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    Same experience with the Companions. I actually felt bad when I got to the farm.
  • UPSLynxUPSLynx :KAPPA: Redwood City, CA Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    CB wrote:
    and then I hit on her friend, but she wouldn't have any of it.

    Effing masterpiece.
  • fatcatfatcat Mizzou Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    Snarkasm wrote:
    Ah, you found the Companions outside of Whiterun. :) They do that to everybody. You actually, as far as I can tell, can't help them. By the time you get there, he's always dead - at least in my playthroughs so far.

    you can kill the giant before they even attack him with a high enough sneak

    she even told me I was badass and should join them


    my story last night

    so i've killed 5 dragons so far. haven't died once to them.

    i was exploring a shrine on top of a mountain, and when i was done i started heading down the mountain path. ran in to a frost troll before i could get my sneak on. motherfucker took one arrow before he was in melee range, bitch slapped me twice, and i was dead.

    fucking trolls
  • UPSLynxUPSLynx :KAPPA: Redwood City, CA Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    I feel like I'm the only one not playing sneak in this game.
  • fatcatfatcat Mizzou Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    UPSLynx wrote:
    I feel like I'm the only one not playing sneak in this game.

    there is like 2x, 3x, 6x, 15x etc etc damage while in sneak mode.

    plus the animations when you grab a guys head and slash his throat with a sword is all win
  • UPSWeezerUPSWeezer Behind you... GENTLEMEN Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    I walked by some woman in White Run. This is what she had to say: "Looking for my husband? Check the Jarl's backside. That's usually where he stuffs himself these days." ;D
  • IlriyasIlriyas The Syrupy Canadian Toronto, Ontario Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    You're not alone Lynx.

    I myself being the manly man that I am prefer charging into battle with a great sword wearing nothing but my underwear, sure I die a lot but at least I go out like a boss.

    Also who needs sneak multipliers? Once you have 100 in Two Handed you get 100% bonus damage to using a 2h, forget sneak multipliers slay your enemies one on one with a single swing.
  • PunnyFuzzPunnyFuzz victoria, BC
    edited November 2011
    UPSLynx wrote:
    I feel like I'm the only one not playing sneak in this game.

    no, you're not alone. I also prefer the adrenaline rush of just rushing into the face of danger with my battle axe & elemental fury combo and just beat the lard out of anything in your way (innocent or not!). plus decapitating people with you 2-handed weapon is much more satisfying than just stabing them in the back.
    and knowing those stealthy guys, they are probably really squishy with their non-heavy armors, werewolf powers or not .

    I know people have probably found everything there is to find in this game already, but I just found a special pickaxe at the top of the "throat of the world" that grants bonus smithing abilities and shock damage. happy hunting, I hope people found that useful.
  • IlriyasIlriyas The Syrupy Canadian Toronto, Ontario Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    Heh, armour true men charge into battle covered in blue paint and wearing a loincloth.
  • PunnyFuzzPunnyFuzz victoria, BC
    edited November 2011
    Ilriyas wrote:
    Heh, armour true men charge into battle covered in blue paint and wearing a loincloth.

    you forgot bear handed, always the manliest way to gun-ho in the fires of battle.
  • FitzkriegFitzkrieg British Columbia
    edited December 2011
    I know people have probably found everything there is to find in this game already, but I just found a special pickaxe at the top of the "throat of the world" that grants bonus smithing abilities and shock damage. happy hunting, I hope people found that useful.

    Ah, you found the 'Notched Pickaxe'. Joyous day.
  • JokkeJokke Bergen, Norway Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    UPSLynx wrote:
    I feel like I'm the only one not playing sneak in this game.

    You're definately not alone. Real men/women look the enemy in the eye(s) before severing his/her/its head, or driving a sword through his/her/its body. Okay, so you might get injured, and even die. That's part of the game, and make for great tales of glory and valor. In the real life sporting world, there's an expression called "fair play". I like to play by that rule. It's only courteous to give your enemy a chance to defend him-/her-/itself and fight back. There is NO honor in stabbing someone/something in the back, effective as it may be.
  • JokkeJokke Bergen, Norway Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    fatcat wrote:
    plus the animations when you grab a guys head and slash his throat with a sword is all win

    The animation when YOU FUCKING SPIN AROUND AND DECAPITATE someone is all win!
  • SnarkasmSnarkasm Madison, WI Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    My sneak was high enough that I was directly in front of someone, went for the stab, and magically got behind him and slashed his throat.

    I felt like Rex.
  • FitzkriegFitzkrieg British Columbia
    edited December 2011
    My sneak was high enough that I was directly in front of someone, went for the stab, and magically got behind him and slashed his throat.

    I felt like Rex.
    Actually, now that I have the Shadow Warrior perk (you turn invisible for 1 second when you crouch mid-combat), I can do that pretty consistently. When used, it looks like you vanish in black smoke, then reappear behind him and slit his throat, which is pretty damn cool.
  • SnarkasmSnarkasm Madison, WI Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    Yeah, I'm going to level on Thief Guild and Dark Brotherhood quests until I can get there. I've been saving my points for MAXIMUM EFFECTIVENESSSSSSS.
  • MiracleManSMiracleManS Chambersburg, PA Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    I drank a good bit of whisky last night and loaded my save this morning. I apparently killed 3 dragons. I'm not really sure how I managed that considering I literally fell into bed.
  • IlriyasIlriyas The Syrupy Canadian Toronto, Ontario Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    Simple, you channeled your inner Nord and went on an alcohol fueled berserker rage resulting in the glorious death of thousands.
  • I-need-a-better-nameI-need-a-better-name Austin Member
    edited November 2011
    I didn't plan on being a lesbian Dunmer but here we are.
    I started off my time in Skyrim just wandering around and learning my place in the world up until the dragon attacked Winterhold. I hadn't planned on any heroics and I was keeping a low profile until then but that all changed. After all that happened I was given a house carl to aid me and needless to say, we never saw eye to eye. After the unfortunate demise of Lydia, I went to pray at the Shrine of Azura for guidance (I've never forgotten the old ways) and there I met my first love Aranea. We traveled together and had adventures and I fell head over heels in love. However, Aranea was still married to the priesthood and I was placed firmly in the friend zone. Eventually it became more than I could bear and we had to part ways. While looking for another companion I met Janessa. I'll admit, it was a rebound thing. She reminded me of my unrequited love and I objectified her. I would lead her into dangerous places and laugh to myself when traps were sprung on her. I would accidentally toss fireballs at her in fights knowing that fire had less effect due to our shared Dunmer ancestry. I'd ask her to wear Foresworn armor so I could ogle her bare midriff and she would gamely play along.
    I thought she was going along with my childish pranks because I was paying her but one time, while testing the Wabbajack on her I saw a look of pain in her eyes. I realized that she had the same feelings for me that I previously had for Aranea! It shook me to my core to realize this yet I betrayed no emotion. After we finished our job, I told Janessa we should part ways (again the look of hurt!) I then went straight to the temple of Mara and purchased the Amulet of Mara. I strode straight over to the Drunken Huntsman and with a look of fierce passion in my eyes spoke to my woman. She immediately agreed to marry me and we went our separate ways to the temple for the ceremony. I had found my soul mate.

    Now we travel together having adventures. I have taken up enchanting and blacksmithing just to give her pretty things and keep her safe. She bravely steps in front of a sword to keep me well. I have a newfound respect and love for my fierce warrior princess and she is so kind an gentle with me. I have come to love Skyrim as much as my former home in Morrowind; Skyrim is where I met my Janessa and I could never go back.
  • CBCB Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Der Millionendorf- Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    So, I was hiking through the Throat of the World, when I spotted this gigantic dude over the next hill. He hadden't seen me yet, so I crawled up the hill, and peeked over the crest to get a better look. He could have been twin to the one that those assholes over by Whiterun were standing over a few days ago.

    He wasn't doing much, just wandering around next to his gigantic campfire. I looked around for some mammoths because I'd heard that these guys usually pal around, but there weren't any here, just this one gigantic dude and his gigantic fire.

    I was going to just leave him be, but then I noticed that there was a mostly decomposed dead guy near the fire, and he was carrying a magic bow. I had to have it. So, it looked like it was time to kill a giant dude.

    I drew and fired, getting him right in the back of the neck. He barely seemed to notice, though, so I fired again, hit him in the spine this time. That made him look around. I got off three more arrows before he finally noticed me hiding behind my little hill.

    I thought the big dude would be pissed, and I'd heard stories of unlucky dudes being knocked thousands of feet into the air by these jerks, "It's not the club that kills you, bro", this guy told me in a bar one night, "It's the bone-liquefying crash back to the ground."

    I fired one more arrow as he approached, lodging it uselessly in one of his great eyes. I braced myself for orbital flight, but when I unclenched my eyes, I was still grounded and unbroken.

    The giant dude was just staring at me. I know he saw me, and I know he was mad, but his face was blank. He looked sort of sad, questioning. Perhaps he did not understand. I found myself wondering. Are these big dudes sentient? Do they have families? Pets? Do they dream for a better Skyrim for their children?

    We stared at each other for a long moment, and in the silence, with the wilderness staring at us both from all around, I slowly put my bow away.

    I raised my hands in a sign of peace, and he seemed to cock his head slightly, questioningly. I brought my hands together, and concentrated. A stream of molen air shot from my palms, enveloping his face and head. He finally moved then, but not to raise his club. He turned to walk away, but it was far too late. He collapsed to the ground with his head in his arms, screaming in pain. When it was over, and the giant dude was still with death, his screams hung in the cold air, and I thought I could hear him asking "Why?"

    "I-" I stammered, I could barely get the words out, "I really need a new bow."

    Unfortunately, the bow was crap 'weakness to cold for 5 seconds'. Meh.

    To make up for it, I rolled over the still charring body of the giant dude, and pried his teeth out with a pickaxe.

    On the way back to town, I ate one of the teeth, just to see what it would taste like. It tasted like burning enamel and sorrow.
  • primesuspectprimesuspect Beepin n' Boopin Detroit, MI Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    You're a terrible person.
  • UPSLynxUPSLynx :KAPPA: Redwood City, CA Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    hahaha! I LOL'd at both of those stories.

    Only on Icrontic do you find a story of Lesbian Dunmer companionship immediately before the greed of a magic bow leading to bloodlust.
  • IlriyasIlriyas The Syrupy Canadian Toronto, Ontario Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    These stories just made my day.
  • PunnyFuzzPunnyFuzz victoria, BC
    edited November 2011
    I know people usually don't read books casually in elder scrolls games, but anyone here read the "Lusty Argonian maid" series in game?
    a masterpiece of writing I say, I think the 2nd book was my favorite though.
  • SnarkasmSnarkasm Madison, WI Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    The mage's college at Winterhold lost three of its tomes to a runaway mage, and sent me after them, as they contained information most dear to my discovery underneath Saarthal. Outside, I was greeted by two mages and a fire wench - or "flame atronach," as the scientists call them. Creeping hidden around the outer edges, all three fell victim to silent missiles of death, my arrows buried all the way to the fletching in their bodies.

    I prayed a small prayer over the flame wench, who was kind enough to leave behind her fire salts. There's a blacksmith in Riften who will pay well for those.

    Progressing into the dungeon, I opt for stealth over raining death. I pick my way past reanimated zombies, throwing my Thu'um here and there to clear my path. A few of the peskier mages murmur quietly and fall silent, their throats having met my dagger moments before.

    I meet another two flame wenches on my route through the dungeon, singing their blessings as I collect their delicious salts. A little more misdirection here, a few well-placed arrows there, and I've arrived-

    Oh dear. The head mage has seen me. Amusingly, we banter back and forth. "I want the books," I say. "I suggest you turn around," she says. I swear I see a mischievous twinkle in her eye that says "and I don't mean leave this dungeon, either."

    Still, my resolve is firm. "I MUST HAVE THESE BOOKS," I shout, "AND I WILL NOT LEAVE WITHOUT THEM!" She curses my name (rather attractively, I must say), and finally says what we've both been thinking: we must duel.

    Sadly, and much to her surprise, I vanished right before her eyes. She scoured the room searching for me while I pilfered every last missing tome. My dagger found a throat once more before I slipped quietly back out into the shadows, leaving nothing but a few dead bodies to mark my time amongst them.

    Bitch didn't even have any more fire salts.
Sign In or Register to comment.