Thrax
8 Jan 2005, 1:20pm
Hello boys and girls, thought I'd stop by and entertain myself at 6:30 by providing some useful information to you kids who are still in High School and looking to pursue college; if I had known these things when I was applying/registering/going to Eastern, my life would've been a lot less stressful and a lot more enjoyable in August of 2004. These are the things your crappy counsellors, and ****ty university websites won't tell you.
1. File your FAFSA the moment your parents have their 1040/A/EZ complete for the tax season of your FAFSA filing.. (IE, 2004-2005 tax forms for 2005-2006 FAFSA). You're more likely to get grants or other sorts of payment-free money from the Government.
2. Put ALL of the colleges you're considering going to on your FAFSA; if you go to a college you didn't list, file a web correction immediately, or else the school will never get your money and you're ****ed.
3. File your FAFSA online, and file for an ePin. Fastest processing time this way.
4. Most likely you're only going to get a few thousand on stafford loans, and the rest will come from FELP (Federal Education Loan for Parents); stafford loans don't have to be repaid for six months from the time your graduate, or go below full-time enrollment. You must begin payment, even if you don't receive a notice from your lender.. So keep those dates memorized. FELP loans must begin to be paid within like 60 days of starting school, so be prepared to have that money per month or you default on your loan and that just makes baby jesus cry.
5. DON'T PICK A ****ING MAJOR FOR YOUR FIRST YEAR OF SCHOOL. Jesus christ.. You'll probably pick one that doesn't suit you, which is a massive screw-job on your class selections as your initial counseling session will gear your classes towards that wrong major. I made this mistake, and I'm switching from a BS in Computer Engineering Technology to a BS in Networking & Information Technology Administration which is far more appropriate for me; my math course for computer engineering ****ed my GPA, and I'm shuffling 2-3 classes around at the very beginning of the semester due to the major change. If I had stayed undeclared, this wouldn't have been a problem, and the transition to a new major would be easy.
6. What are some good courses for undeclared majors? Macroeconomics, microeconomics, composition, literature, psychology, American government, philosophy, public speaking (recitation + lecture), American history, religion, appropriately-levelled mathematics.. These fill basic requirements and will get you through your first year of schooling on full-time status, and apply to almost any degree you choose.
7. When you go to pick a major, review the program thoroughly. Do NOT hesitate to email the director/coordinator of the program and ask for an appointment to discuss it in depth.
8. Watch your student account like a hawk -- Computers and people at the universities seem to screw up with preposterously inhuman regularity, especially when it comes to dealing with your arse-raping levels of debt and collegiate future. If any discrepency occurs, call or email your billing department to get it resolved immediately. Pay particular attention to your account right before the semester, or after any system "upgrades."
9. Talk to your teachers, visit them every office session. ASS KISSING GOES A REALLY LONG WAY IN COLLEGE. Your nose will be brown, but your grades will be squeaky clean.
10. Dorms are fun. Commuting is crap.
11. Go through your first week of classes before you buy any books; no teacher really expects you to have them, and you'll save a ridiculous amount of money because some classes don't require the books that go with them. Also, even if you're a freshman, feel free to capitalize on the creepy book-selling shadow market.. Write down the names, ISBN codes, and classes for books that you need and post it on your door within that first week. You'll probably get some books for far less than you could get them anywhere else. EBAY AS MANY BOOKS AS POSSIBLE.
12. Visit the student employment offices 2-3 weeks before the semester starts. DO NOT FAIL TO DO THIS OR YOU WON'T WORK!!#@$#$311. Ok? H'okai.
13. Look, AP tests don't mean anything. Yeah, it's really nice to skip content, but who honestly wants to get <i>harder</i> classes their first year of college? You still get credit, the classes still apply to a major.. So honestly, I mean... Honestly.
14. At Eastern, if you want to get ****ing hammered, Thursday is it. Thankfully I don't know from experience
15. Frats are exactly what you think they are.
16. At most colleges, you have to do exactly four things to get registered to attend classes and live on-campus:
-Apply, get accepted.
-Enroll at the college.
-Schedule an initial advising session and go to it.
-Visit housing/dining to drop off housing forms and a downpayment.
Do these things and don't worry about doing any other steps unless they tell you to. I worried for like 50,000 days and nights about having all my loose ends tied.. I only needed four ends tied fo' real.
17. When you apply to the college, do it at the end of your junior year. Then send a final transcript when you graduate. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO THIS OR IT WILL SUCK FOR YOU.
18. If the money isn't at your college when you go for the first two weeks, it doesn't matter.. It'll come from the Gov't eventually, nor will you be charged late fees.
19. Find out what teachers have no surprise material, and skip the class if you feel comfortable doing it (hahahaha) - you'll have a lot more free time.
20. What's the beauty of college? Being able to schedule classes for later in the day.. No one wants to get up at 7 AM any more, and I ****ing hate the people who still do in college.
21. Most colleges have two types of eateries: The first is one that uses up a meal credit for a finite quantity of food (A&W, Taco Bell, Wendy's..), the second is a cafeteria that takes up a single meal credit but gives you whatever you want, and as much of it as you want. Do the latter as often as possible - your stomach and ~$5000/year will thank you for getting your money's worth.
22. The freshman 15 = beer drinking. If you don't slam back the brewskies, or binge on pizza at 3:30 AM all the time, you won't gain an ounce. I lost two pounds.
23. Live in a snowy place? School is more likely to be called off at a university than at your high school because professors are cranky gits about driving to school in the snow. Love this.
24. Everything is open later around a college campus, especially food places. The likelihood is rather strong that delivery places will be open at 2 AM.
1. File your FAFSA the moment your parents have their 1040/A/EZ complete for the tax season of your FAFSA filing.. (IE, 2004-2005 tax forms for 2005-2006 FAFSA). You're more likely to get grants or other sorts of payment-free money from the Government.
2. Put ALL of the colleges you're considering going to on your FAFSA; if you go to a college you didn't list, file a web correction immediately, or else the school will never get your money and you're ****ed.
3. File your FAFSA online, and file for an ePin. Fastest processing time this way.
4. Most likely you're only going to get a few thousand on stafford loans, and the rest will come from FELP (Federal Education Loan for Parents); stafford loans don't have to be repaid for six months from the time your graduate, or go below full-time enrollment. You must begin payment, even if you don't receive a notice from your lender.. So keep those dates memorized. FELP loans must begin to be paid within like 60 days of starting school, so be prepared to have that money per month or you default on your loan and that just makes baby jesus cry.
5. DON'T PICK A ****ING MAJOR FOR YOUR FIRST YEAR OF SCHOOL. Jesus christ.. You'll probably pick one that doesn't suit you, which is a massive screw-job on your class selections as your initial counseling session will gear your classes towards that wrong major. I made this mistake, and I'm switching from a BS in Computer Engineering Technology to a BS in Networking & Information Technology Administration which is far more appropriate for me; my math course for computer engineering ****ed my GPA, and I'm shuffling 2-3 classes around at the very beginning of the semester due to the major change. If I had stayed undeclared, this wouldn't have been a problem, and the transition to a new major would be easy.
6. What are some good courses for undeclared majors? Macroeconomics, microeconomics, composition, literature, psychology, American government, philosophy, public speaking (recitation + lecture), American history, religion, appropriately-levelled mathematics.. These fill basic requirements and will get you through your first year of schooling on full-time status, and apply to almost any degree you choose.
7. When you go to pick a major, review the program thoroughly. Do NOT hesitate to email the director/coordinator of the program and ask for an appointment to discuss it in depth.
8. Watch your student account like a hawk -- Computers and people at the universities seem to screw up with preposterously inhuman regularity, especially when it comes to dealing with your arse-raping levels of debt and collegiate future. If any discrepency occurs, call or email your billing department to get it resolved immediately. Pay particular attention to your account right before the semester, or after any system "upgrades."
9. Talk to your teachers, visit them every office session. ASS KISSING GOES A REALLY LONG WAY IN COLLEGE. Your nose will be brown, but your grades will be squeaky clean.
10. Dorms are fun. Commuting is crap.
11. Go through your first week of classes before you buy any books; no teacher really expects you to have them, and you'll save a ridiculous amount of money because some classes don't require the books that go with them. Also, even if you're a freshman, feel free to capitalize on the creepy book-selling shadow market.. Write down the names, ISBN codes, and classes for books that you need and post it on your door within that first week. You'll probably get some books for far less than you could get them anywhere else. EBAY AS MANY BOOKS AS POSSIBLE.
12. Visit the student employment offices 2-3 weeks before the semester starts. DO NOT FAIL TO DO THIS OR YOU WON'T WORK!!#@$#$311. Ok? H'okai.
13. Look, AP tests don't mean anything. Yeah, it's really nice to skip content, but who honestly wants to get <i>harder</i> classes their first year of college? You still get credit, the classes still apply to a major.. So honestly, I mean... Honestly.
14. At Eastern, if you want to get ****ing hammered, Thursday is it. Thankfully I don't know from experience
15. Frats are exactly what you think they are.
16. At most colleges, you have to do exactly four things to get registered to attend classes and live on-campus:
-Apply, get accepted.
-Enroll at the college.
-Schedule an initial advising session and go to it.
-Visit housing/dining to drop off housing forms and a downpayment.
Do these things and don't worry about doing any other steps unless they tell you to. I worried for like 50,000 days and nights about having all my loose ends tied.. I only needed four ends tied fo' real.
17. When you apply to the college, do it at the end of your junior year. Then send a final transcript when you graduate. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO THIS OR IT WILL SUCK FOR YOU.
18. If the money isn't at your college when you go for the first two weeks, it doesn't matter.. It'll come from the Gov't eventually, nor will you be charged late fees.
19. Find out what teachers have no surprise material, and skip the class if you feel comfortable doing it (hahahaha) - you'll have a lot more free time.
20. What's the beauty of college? Being able to schedule classes for later in the day.. No one wants to get up at 7 AM any more, and I ****ing hate the people who still do in college.
21. Most colleges have two types of eateries: The first is one that uses up a meal credit for a finite quantity of food (A&W, Taco Bell, Wendy's..), the second is a cafeteria that takes up a single meal credit but gives you whatever you want, and as much of it as you want. Do the latter as often as possible - your stomach and ~$5000/year will thank you for getting your money's worth.
22. The freshman 15 = beer drinking. If you don't slam back the brewskies, or binge on pizza at 3:30 AM all the time, you won't gain an ounce. I lost two pounds.
23. Live in a snowy place? School is more likely to be called off at a university than at your high school because professors are cranky gits about driving to school in the snow. Love this.
24. Everything is open later around a college campus, especially food places. The likelihood is rather strong that delivery places will be open at 2 AM.