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GnomeWizardd
20 Feb 2005, 3:44pm
well what you got?

#334331 +(4580)- [X]

<LordChewy> so my dad found my porn folder
<LordChewy> and he was getting all pissed
<LordChewy> so its all like "does this surprise you? i'm not stupid you know"
<LordChewy> "i know dad"
<LordChewy> "what do you have to say for yourself?"
<LordChewy> at this point i stare at him straight in the eyes and say "C:Documents and SettingsRickyMy Documentsfaxessent faxes"
<LordChewy> and he just shut up
<kingKahn> what is it?
<LordChewy> its his porn folder


#83627 +(4124)- [X]

<scirDSL> I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.


#50891 +(3862)- [X]

<Eticam> I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm
<Eticam> And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then
<Eticam> When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass
<Eticam> Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat
<Eticam> The girl started crying and left class ^^

#88575 +(3844)- [X]

<Stormrider> I should bomb something
<Stormrider> ...and it's off the cuff remarks like that that are the reason I don't log chats
<Stormrider> Just in case the FBI ever needs anything on me
<Elzie_Ann> I'm sure they can just get it from someone who DOES log chats.
*** FBI has joined #gamecubecafe
<FBI> We saw it anyway.
*** FBI has quit IRC (Quit: )


#12431 +(3716)- [X]

<Hiroe> he was dressed as a big ****in devil
<Hiroe> like, HUGE costume
<Hiroe> 8-foot lizard wings, giant horns on the head
<Hiroe> at some anime con in california
<Hiroe> they were double booked with a southern Baptist group in the same hotel
<Hiroe> he's riding the elevator down to the con space
<Hiroe> doors open, little old baptist woman standing there
<Hiroe> he just says "Going Down" in his best evil voice


#180081 +(3676)- [X]

<kylev> BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<kylev> hahahahaha
<kylev> some girl just came onto our floor
<kylev> and was yelling "sexual favors for anyone who does my sociology paper"
<kylev> i just asked her what the paper was about
<kylev> and she said the accomplishments and growth of feminism
<`Neo> bahahahaha


#412248 +(3593)- [X]

<Locl-Yocl> I helped the EMTs at a car wreck and got blood all over my arms and shirt. It looked like I murdered 20 people with a fork... anyway, I walked into a convieniance store down the street and said my girlfriend needs a tampon. The guy at the counter was mortified.


#127148 +(3191)- [X]

<Ich> I have passed the transitional stage of internet geekhood
<Ich> I was cashiering at work today, and was punching in the code for plums, which is 4040.
<Ich> and the 0 key doesn't work this well, so I punched it in wrong.
<Ich> and the machine flashed up "Item Not Found: 404"
<Ich> and I actually laughed out loud

Armo
20 Feb 2005, 5:36pm
#43479 +(330)- [X]

Davo: i made a carrot cake once.
Davo: no-one told me you had to grate the carrots i put em in whole
DW: hahahahahahaha
Davo: they got burnt black sticking outta top
Davo: looked like a birthday cake holocaust

#82076 +(212)- [X]

ecco> a commercial for the fonz toaster would rock
ecco> they'd show him in a toaster
ecco> and he'd be like EEEEEEEYYYYY
ecco> and then they'd turn it on
ecco> and the coils would heat up
ecco> and he'd be like EEEYYAAAAARRRRRGHHhhhhhhh and his flesh would burn off

#42321 +(289)- [X]

inv694102> HELP I GOT A VIRUS
LZ> what does it do?
inv694102> I WAS TYPING IN MSDOS EDIT AND IT EATES WHAT I TYPED BEFORE
LZ> hmmm
LZ> maybe you got insert key pressed?
inv694102> O.....
inv694102> WAS THAT. THANKS
LZ> lol...

#6934 +(55)- [X]

CapnKev> Nothing's illegal when you're dead.
Satrina> "dead girls don't say no"

#191037 +(838)- [X]

Czarina> I've always had a hard time picturing hamsters in the wild. I get this mental image of a horde of them devouring a cow or something.

#255660 +(979)- [X]

ColonelCoroner> Nah, this one's good. Alright, so it was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day when you died. The Angel at the gate said to the man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you died."
ColonelCoroner> "No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 10th floor apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife half naked. I knew she was ****ing some bitch, I glanced out onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This pissed me off even more. I wanted to kill the ****er! So I unplugged my refrigerator, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 10 stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly."
ColonelCoroner> The Angel considers this, and let's him in cuz it WAS a bad day....The next dude comes up, and is asked the same question. So the dude replies, "But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 11th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I was really pushing hard, and I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, started cussing, and stomps on my fingers. I fell and ****ing hit some trees and bushes at the bottom which broke my fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the ground in shock and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator, of all things, off the balcony. It falls the 10 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly."
Piro-nuts> rofl...
ColonelCoroner> So the Angel chuckles, thinks his job is pretty cool, and let's this dude in...the third dude comes up, and again the Angel asks him the same question about how he died. So the dude goes, 'Okay, picture this, I'm hiding in this refrigerator right..."

GnomeWizardd
21 Feb 2005, 11:54pm
<Tisp> <P^DERX> I had a girlfriend a while back. I got really sick, and she came over to give me brownies and a tape of the Simpsons. As she left I starting eating the brownies and popped in the tape, about mid-way through, the tape cut to her sucking some other guy off, she looked at the camera and said "You've just been dumped" and then proceeded to spit his cum into a bowl of brownie mix.


stinkykittybutt: there are three basic rules to life: when some one asks you if you're a god, say yes. If some one asks how your credit rating is, say you don't know, and if some one asks if you know what an anal probe feels like, run away.


Wardave: My girlfriend tells me I'm lazy and have no ambition.
CancersDan: Dump her ass
Wardave: I should but that's just way too much work


<Gregoray> Most embarassing moment would be when I finished wanking, and stoop up to do up my pants, when i noticed a red dot on my nuts. When i looked up, I realized my 13 year old niegbor and her 2 friends where watching me through my window and had a lazer pointer aimed at me.


< robT> Name ONE thing that your windows comp can do that my MAC cant
< bawss> Right click.


SouLTaKeR2023: I was on the phone with a friend
SouLTaKeR2023: and we happen to talk about foreskin
ARazorbladeGrin: amazing
SouLTaKeR2023: and my lil bro walks in
SouLTaKeR2023: and hes like
SouLTaKeR2023: "whats foreskin"?
SouLTaKeR2023: Im like
SouLTaKeR2023: "Its the skin on the forehead"
SouLTaKeR2023: I flicked him on the forehead so he would leave
SouLTaKeR2023: and now hes running around the house yelling
SouLTaKeR2023: "MAMA ALEX FLICKED MY FORESKIN"
ARazorbladeGrin: ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL


(Deranged): I like my women like I like my coffee.
(Jet): Black?
(SteveTheImpermeableHamster): full of your cream?
(mistik): hawt?
(Jet): Columbian?
(Aimee): hot?
(Jet): From McDonalds?
(SteveTheImpermeableHamster): in a cup?
(Jet): Spilt all over your lap?
(mistik): cheap?
(Deranged): No..
(Deranged): Ground up, and in the freezer.
(mistik): oh
(mistik): lmao


<LadyAerowen> I'm allowed to have my own opinion, burra :P
<burrahobbit> i dont know where you got that idea from but it is wrong





<@drwiii> so ecbc and I go to gamestop to get Mario 64 DS.
<@drwiii> and i bring my DS along.
<@drwiii> then we go to this chinese restaurant.
<@drwiii> and as ecbc's coming back from the restroom, he's like "dude did that
kid steal your gameboy?"
<@drwiii> there was some kid at another table ****ing around with PictoChat on
his own DS
<@drwiii> so i changed the nickname on mine, found the room he was in, and
scribbled "What you just ate wasn't chicken." and sent it
<@drwiii> and like 10 seconds later i hear over my shoulder "EWWWW!"
<@drwiii> apparently he showed it to his mom
<@drwiii> i powered mine down and kept on eating.
<@drwiii> that was the best thing EVER.

TheBaron
22 Feb 2005, 12:08am
I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm
And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then
When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass
Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat
The girl started crying and left class ^^

OMG

Thrax
22 Feb 2005, 12:19am
Bahahahahahahahahahah

TheBaron
22 Feb 2005, 12:22am
um... guys?
https://webspace.utexas.edu/jtm56/ads.bmp
DEVIL PENIS: SEE HIM ON A TIGHTROPE, WITH FLOWERS, HANGING

WHAT THE ****

Thrax
22 Feb 2005, 12:38am
:eek:

What have we <i>done</i>?

RWB
22 Feb 2005, 1:21am
I still crack up on that Brownie one... I'd so send her parents a link to the video on the web, complete with a counter and all that good stuff!

If anyone tries sueing, you could sue back with mental anguish and have them pay your $200/hour therapist for the next couple years coping with what you just ate ;D

GnomeWizardd
22 Feb 2005, 3:32am
<xavas> so i was on the beach wearing my speedo's the other day
<xavas> and some chick walks by and goes "u got a roll of pennies in there?!?!?"
<xavas> so i says "yeah, want me to knock some cents into you?>