Tex
5 Sep 2003, 12:16pm
CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house and laying up supplies for
the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and
laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come
winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper
suffered a cold and hungry death.
Moral of the story: Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house and laying up supplies for
the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and
laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come
winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press
conference and demands to know why the ant should be
allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold
and starving.
CBS, NBC, ABC, and CNN show up to provide pictures of
the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant
in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this
be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper,
and everybody cries when they sing "It's Not Easy
Being Green." Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in
front of the ant's house where the news stations film
the group singing "We shall overcome."
Tom Daschle & Walter Mondale exclaim in an interview
with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off
the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an
immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his
"fair share."
Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and
Anti-Grasshopper Act," retroactive to the beginning of
the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a
proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing
left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is
confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the
grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and
the case is tried before a panel of federal judges
that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent
welfare recipients. The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up
the last bits of the ant's food while the government
house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old
house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug-related
incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over
by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful
neighborhood.
Moral of the Story.. Nope. I'm not gonna post ya the Moral of Story. Lets see what wityy guesses you guys can cough up.
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house and laying up supplies for
the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and
laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come
winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper
suffered a cold and hungry death.
Moral of the story: Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house and laying up supplies for
the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and
laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come
winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press
conference and demands to know why the ant should be
allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold
and starving.
CBS, NBC, ABC, and CNN show up to provide pictures of
the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant
in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this
be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper,
and everybody cries when they sing "It's Not Easy
Being Green." Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in
front of the ant's house where the news stations film
the group singing "We shall overcome."
Tom Daschle & Walter Mondale exclaim in an interview
with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off
the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an
immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his
"fair share."
Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and
Anti-Grasshopper Act," retroactive to the beginning of
the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a
proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing
left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is
confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the
grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and
the case is tried before a panel of federal judges
that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent
welfare recipients. The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up
the last bits of the ant's food while the government
house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old
house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug-related
incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over
by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful
neighborhood.
Moral of the Story.. Nope. I'm not gonna post ya the Moral of Story. Lets see what wityy guesses you guys can cough up.