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Brilt
5 Nov 2003, 07:20am
Things to Ponder

How important does a person have to be before
they are considered assassinated instead of
just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks
have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich
meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but
it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's
that extra penny going?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing
the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we
figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels
on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby"
when babies wake up like every two hours and
cry?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called
a hearing?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will
they fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and
then put money in binoculars to look at things
on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for
President and fifty for Miss America?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does
s/he call?

Stress is when you wake up screaming and then
you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in
school, but they can in prison?

If raising children was going to be easy, it never
would have started with something called labor!

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells
live forever.



Sad part is I can answer some of these

Geeky1
5 Nov 2003, 07:42am
If vegetable oil comes from vegetables, and olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

Thrax
5 Nov 2003, 02:15pm
Johnson & Johnson :tongue:

CB
5 Nov 2003, 02:55pm
actually all of those questions have easy answers.

Clutch
5 Nov 2003, 11:40pm
And what would they be Cb? hehe

Enverex
5 Nov 2003, 11:48pm
Sandwich meats here are square....

NS

CB
6 Nov 2003, 02:03am
How important does a person have to be before
they are considered assassinated instead of
just murdered?


They must hold a political office.



If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks
have branches?


The word 'Branches' in the case of banks refers to divisions of the company in a tree-like organisational structure, and has nothing to do with actual trees.



Since bread is square, then why is sandwich
meat round?


Meat (especially processed meat) can be formed into any shape the you desire when making it. But, most luncheon meats are round because they are cured and stored in round intestines or similar plastic casings. Bread, however is cooked in a pan with a squared off bottom, so that it can stand upright in the oven.



Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but
it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's
that extra penny going?


These two prases do not share a common origin, and have nothing to do with eachother. Therefore, ther is no extra penny.



Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing
the clothes you were buried in for eternity?


No. There is no description of heaven in any major religion or sect that describes such a dress code.



Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


Because round boxes are more expencive to make and less practical to carry.



What did cured ham actually have?


In this context the word 'cured' is used to describe a procces for treating and storing meats. Usually a cured ham has been either smoked or salted for storage. an answer to your wuestion might be "more blood". But, in truth the question is rather irrelevant.



How is it that we put man on the moon before we
figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels
on luggage?


These advances were made by completely seperate industries on completely different timelines. Thusly they have no relation to each other. Although, I'd like to think that it is because advances in space exploration are much more important than advances in lazyness.



Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby"
when babies wake up like every two hours and
cry?


While it is true that babies sleep sporaticaly, they also sleep very soundly (this is a natural and very necissary pattern for them). It is that later atribute of baby sleep that the expression refers to.



If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called
a hearing?


Yes.



If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will
they fire you?


No.



Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?


You are mixing contexts in this question. The vernacular slang is actually identical between the two industries, if you keep in context.

Thusly:

You are in a movie's cast: You are IN a movie.
You are in a television show's cast: You are IN a television show.

You are shown on the movie screen: You are ON screen.
You are shown on the television screen: You are ON TV.



Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and
then put money in binoculars to look at things
on the ground?


Be cause they like to. It offers them a versitile view from a perspective that they are unaccustomed to. It's novel.



How come we choose from just two people for
President and fifty for Miss America?


Once again, this question compares two things which are wholly unrelated. The american political system actually allows for an infinite number of candidates to join a race, and any registered voter can vote for any person who meets the basic criteria (over 35 yrs. old, and a natural born American citizen). The idea that there are only two candidates to choose from is only a widely held misconception, and those two parties don't mind a lick if it stays that way.

On the other hand, the Miss America Pageant is not voted on by the common citizen. The winner is chosen by a panel of five judges, from a pool of fifty candidates (one from each state in the union). Miss America is not a political office.



Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.


It is generaly consitered rude to watch someone undress, even if you are goinfg to see them afterward anyway. This is simply a matter of polite behavior. It is polite to turn away from someone who is stripping down to a previously concealed bathing suit, even if you're going to see them in it in just a few momments anyway. This is not a convention that is still widely held at the beach, but doctors consiter it a courtesy.



If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does
s/he call?


A 911 operator would not need to call anyone, one of her neighbors in the operations center will dispatch an ambulance, if the call center is not already in or very near a medical station.



Stress is when you wake up screaming and then
you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.


This is not a question.



Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in
school, but they can in prison?


Our constitution declares that church and state should be separate. To this end they have drafted laws that restrict teaching religious texts of any kind in public schools (although, they are plenty of private schools for those parents who want a more religious education fortheir children). The congress has not however drafted any such laws reguarding prisons, as that would be consitered religious oppression.



If raising children was going to be easy, it never
would have started with something called labor!


Not a question.



Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells
live forever.


Again, not a question.


Anything else?

Kwitko
6 Nov 2003, 02:20am
CBDroege had this to say
Anything else?

Yeah, how long did it take you to suck the fun out of this thread?:p

Brilt
6 Nov 2003, 02:30am
TD_Isles had this to say
CBDroege had this to say
Anything else?

Yeah, how long did it take you to suck the fun out of this thread?:p


:Pwned:

Clutch
6 Nov 2003, 02:36am
haha, kudos to CB though.

TheSmJ
6 Nov 2003, 04:45am
Meat (especially processed meat) can be formed into any shape the you desire when making it. But, most luncheon meats are round because they are cured and stored in round intestines or similar plastic casings. Bread, however is cooked in a pan with a squared off bottom, so that it can stand upright in the oven.

Actually, meat is never stored in an intestine, and then removed. Intestine is too expensive to simply form the round shape of skinless sausage to just throw away. It's only ever used on skinned hotdogs, bratwurst, Italian sausage, etc. All these foods are consumed with the intestine still wrapping the meat. Skinless hotdogs get extruded and quickly cooked. The same goes for other skinless sausages.

Besides, cold cuts don’t get intestine wrapped.

VileDaRKNiGHT
6 Nov 2003, 04:45am
yea i got one...

why do hotdogs come in packages of 10 and buns in packages of 8?

TheSmJ
6 Nov 2003, 04:57am
VileDaRKNiGHT had this to say
yea i got one...

why do hotdogs come in packages of 10 and buns in packages of 8?

When the store I work at gets hotdogs (in this example, Dearborn Brand, friggin' best...) Each case is 10LBs (or 40 dogs). If one were to buy a whole case, that would easily be devisible by 8. :thumbsup:

[/clash of the smartasses]

BTW, expect to see a case or two of some of this stuff at the LAN!

WuGgaRoO
6 Nov 2003, 05:05am
if burgers come in packs of 10...and buns in 8....why!?!?

MediaMan
6 Nov 2003, 06:24am
And why do weiners come in packs of 10 and hot dog buns in packs of 8.

/me applaudes TD.

CB
6 Nov 2003, 06:33am
Yeah, how long did it take you to suck the fun out of this thread?:p [/B]


*Points at Clutch

He told me too!:D

Buddy J
6 Nov 2003, 06:39am
You don't have to have a political office to be assassinated, you just have to be a political figure killed for your political beliefs. Thats an assassination.

CB
6 Nov 2003, 02:58pm
You're right, of course, Buddy.

csimon
6 Nov 2003, 03:13pm
an assasination doesn't have to be stictly of a politician ...can be of a religious leader also.

csimon
6 Nov 2003, 03:16pm
"a prostitute was assasinated today" ...ever realize that prostitutes are always referred to as prostitutes when they are murdered? makes me wonder if they were prostituting when they were murdered or maybe doing something else ...lol
why not say "a prostitute was murdered while servicing a politician and a rabbi and a priest ..." and if the bullet hit and killed all four would it be the "assasination of a politician, rabbi, and priest and the murder of a prostitute"?
sheesh I better get back to work before I get murdered (not that I'm a prostitute mind you)! :scratch: :eek2: ;D

Templar
6 Nov 2003, 04:59pm
sheesh I better get back to work before I get murdered (not that I'm a prostitute mind you)!

That's another thread for KBJ :P

Brilt
6 Nov 2003, 05:25pm
csimon had this to say
an assasination doesn't have to be stictly of a politician ...can be of a religious leader also.

wouldn't that be considered being a martyr?

Enverex
6 Nov 2003, 05:28pm
No, martyr is what the person becomes, not what happened to them. I.e. If this person is killed he may become a martyr for the cause and its people.

NS

Brilt
6 Nov 2003, 05:44pm
true. you right NS got a little confused there