My Computer's Broke

[osaddict]

Arrrrrrrrrrgh!

If I hear that one more flipping time!

Does anyone else get that - people yelling @ them 'my computer's broke'

Wow - thanks - what exactally is not working - what can you not do?!!!


*rant over* lol

[RyderOCZ]

^^

What he said :D

[Sledgehammer70]

I have 3 clients that call me up and say "My monitor stopped working" I ask did you move the mouse around or hit a key on your keyboard... "No..." well do that and tell me what happens... "OMG you fixed it"

Some people just don't learn even if you tell them what it is and how it works 10000 times...

[Thrax]

It absolutely astonishes me how inept people can be with computers. It's as if their capacity to learn <i>completely disappears</i> when in front of a PC, immediately treating it as if it's "Too hard" or something they can "Never learn," despite their jobs and hobbies probably having just as many facets.

Perfectly adult people who are responsible, educated, and have spent an entire lifetime learning in the pursuit of their career are suddenly unable to learn when a PC is in front of them. They turn into frightened toddlers, and I do not understand that mental complex.

People ask me "How are you so good at computers? Did you go to school?" No I didn't ****ing go to school. I sat down one day, when I was young, and decided I was really going to learn about PCs. So I experimented, researched, experimented, researched, read, researched, experimented some more. I am the product of about 9 years of my own stubborn trudging through websites and computer hardware.

I know PCs because I wanted to learn PCs. When I sit down in front of a new program, I don't freak out and ask for help; I work through whatever problems I encounter myself. I troubleshoot, experiment, and eliminate options -- I don't ask for help until there are no options left.

"OMG you're so smart how did you install Windows Vista?" I hear that one a lot. You know how I installed vista? I read the on-screen instructions, pulled in a little wisdom from past experiences, and clicked a few buttons. SHOCKING!

I cannot understand the infantile degeneration of people's learning abilities in front of a PC, and it irritates me.

[RyderOCZ]

Don't hold back....tell us how you really feel :cool::D

[osaddict]

Children are the opposite thou in quite a few cases Thrax :D

My 7 year old nephew has a healthy appetite for computers, (inlcuding games consoles funnily enuf :P)

He has no problem checking e-mail, getting games from miniclip, researching basic stuff etc - I was well impressed

My two neices - 2 and 5 both have laptops too!

(Ok so one's Dora the explorer and the other Barbie - but hey - getting used to a mouse is better than nothing!)

[Cyclonite]

True about children, but as adults, we shouldn't instantly turn our brains off when we're in front of something new. We should realize this is a tool that is now as much part of our lives as a car.

We hire so many administrative personnel here who don't have the slightest clue how to use a computer. Their jobs have them sitting in front of one 90% of their work-day, though.

It's so frustrating repeating the same 3-step process every week because they can't seem to commit a simple task to memory. Even when they write it down, which I typically discourage because they write and don't process, they call me the next day or week asking how to do it again.

And forget reading instructions. You wouldn't buy a bike or grill or anything that requires assembly and just try to throw it together. No! You'd read the little instruction packet that came with the item. My friend called me the other day and asked "I just bought another wireless controller for my 360, but when I turn it on it just blinks. What do I do?" I asked him if he had read the instruction packet. "No. But do you have any troubleshooting tips?" My response was, "Yes, read the instruction packet. It'll take about 30 seconds."

Nobody reads anymore. "OMG! Error!" *Click OK/Cancel* *Call support 2 hours later* "I got this error when I did <whatever>. What should I do?" "What did the error say?" "Oh, I don't know, I didn't read it." Upon reproducing the error, it tells them exactly what to do.

Cripes, sorry for the rant.

[CB]

You guys are preaching to the choir in this pub...

[SPIKE09]

YUP we are the blokes down the pub what knows about compooters

[Sledgehammer70]

The problem with teens & kids & adults when they think they know something... it is usally just enough to really break their PC "these are the people I get calls from"

Um.. I tired to Overclock my PSU....
Yeah my motherboard started to smoke so I put water on it.....

it is amazing at times...

[tmh88]

My favorite case of people being retarded with computers is that one guy who cut off the "extra" pins on his videocard because it "wouldn't fit". He had a pci-e videocard and his mobo had an agp slot, or something like that, so he thought it would be a good idea to cut off the pins so it would fit in his computer.

I'm pretty sure it was a high end videocard too. Someone post a pic if you can find it.

[airbornflght]

lmao. Yeh, a lot of people 'know enough to be dangerous' In other words, they can burry themselves waist deep in ****, but left the shovel over by the shade tree out of reach. pebkac 90% of the time.

[Thrax]

" " -> ( )

[Winga]

;D Guys I feel your pain but these stories are really good....bring them on.

The video card dude is in line for a Darwin Award. Now if only he found a way of killing himself in the process he would probably have gotten a vote.

I agree about kids. They don't have the inhibitions us adults do. We worry about what might go wrong if we push the wrong button. They don't care about the consequences so they learn things about programs and software a lot faster than adults.

[GrayFox]

My favorite case of people being retarded with computers is that one guy who cut off the "extra" pins on his videocard because it "wouldn't fit". He had a pci-e videocard and his mobo had an agp slot, or something like that, so he thought it would be a good idea to cut off the pins so it would fit in his computer.

I'm pretty sure it was a high end videocard too. Someone post a pic if you can find it.

7800GTX

It was on tech-forums you can probably find a pic there if you look.

;D Guys I feel your pain but these stories are really good....bring them on.

The video card dude is in line for a Darwin Award. Now if only he found a way of killing himself in the process he would probably have gotten a vote.

I agree about kids. They don't have the inhibitions us adults do. We worry about what might go wrong if we push the wrong button. They don't care about the consequences so they learn things about programs and software a lot faster than adults.

He managed to kill his dell.

edit:
http://amdwallpapers.lunarpages.com/subgallery/albums/userpics/why-doesnt-this-work.jpg

People this dumb should be keep away from computers and power tools.

[osaddict]

Bwahahaha

Sometimes its difficult to grasp how someone can know so little:

My pc is running slow - they have outlook, msn, around 8 IE windows (even thou theres tabs they use windows) around 6 excel workbooks, etc - 'why is it so slow it wasn't slow @ 9am'

Oooh I wonder :p

[mas0n]

My favorite today is the "If it's not on the Desktop it doesn't exist" crowd...

they are my comic relief.

[Cyclonite]

How about the "if I can't open this file through MS Word, my computer must be broken."

[IndigoRed]

Or just moving a pc from one locale to another.

"Hi, I need to move my pc."
"Ok, just unplug it and move it."
"I don't know how..."
"Just unplug all the cords and move it."
"But I don't know where to plug the cords back in..."
"Don't worry, all the cords are different and will only fit into one slot. It's easy."
"Uh, can you do it, please? I'm worried I'll mess it up."

Is it ok to hurt them at this point? :rolleyes2

[Your Amish Daddy]

That's always better than the guy who sees "Burn this file to CD" so he puts a CD in the toaster. Giving rednecks computers is like giving Charles Manson a diamond hacksaw blade, and a nuclear powered chainsaw.

"Mah komputor was hot, so I gived it a beer to cool it down."
-My uncle Bobby, who is proof evolution can work backwards too..
"This dammed cupholder won't hold a beer! I'mma sue Compaq fer alcohol abuse!"
-Same man, two hours later.
"It sez to hit any key, so I hit the button on the modem."
-He calls the tower a modem.
"I wanna see nekkid girls on the television!"
"Where's the clicker for this contraption, I'm tired of goin' over there when I wanna hear my music on limwirr!"
"I clicked the bigger penis ad, an now my wife's cryin because it puts pictures of nekkid boys on my television!"

[Clutch]

Working in the ISP/computer repair business for the past four years has gave me many tards to work with. I love it when people make up error messages. Like they call me up and it goes like this:

Customer: "My Internet doesn't work"
Me: "Okay, what error message do you get"
Customer: "It says something about my server is down and to call you"
Me: "Sorry that is not possible because there is no error message that reads that"
Cusomer: "Well I'm just telling you what it says"


Or the whole "Ever since you guys worked on my machine my computer cuts off all the time" "sorry ms, we only setup your e-mail address, this is not possible"

[IndigoRed]

"Hi, I think you need to reinstall Outlook on my machine."
"Why, what is it doing?"
"It takes forever to start and keeps freezing. Other programs too."
*alarm bells here*

A quick HJT log and I felt like he had just handed me a pile of his soiled undies to play with...

[tmh88]

thanks for adding the picture grayfox. I think you were the one who showed me that picture in the first place.

[drasnor]

It absolutely astonishes me how inept people can be with computers. It's as if their capacity to learn <i>completely disappears</i> when in front of a PC, immediately treating it as if it's "Too hard" or something they can "Never learn," despite their jobs and hobbies probably having just as many facets.

Perfectly adult people who are responsible, educated, and have spent an entire lifetime learning in the pursuit of their career are suddenly unable to learn when a PC is in front of them. They turn into frightened toddlers, and I do not understand that mental complex.

People ask me "How are you so good at computers? Did you go to school?" No I didn't ****ing go to school. I sat down one day, when I was young, and decided I was really going to learn about PCs. So I experimented, researched, experimented, researched, read, researched, experimented some more. I am the product of about 9 years of my own stubborn trudging through websites and computer hardware.

I know PCs because I wanted to learn PCs. When I sit down in front of a new program, I don't freak out and ask for help; I work through whatever problems I encounter myself. I troubleshoot, experiment, and eliminate options -- I don't ask for help until there are no options left.

"OMG you're so smart how did you install Windows Vista?" I hear that one a lot. You know how I installed vista? I read the on-screen instructions, pulled in a little wisdom from past experiences, and clicked a few buttons. SHOCKING!

I cannot understand the infantile degeneration of people's learning abilities in front of a PC, and it irritates me.This is exactly how I feel when people give me the same reaction when I tell them I'm a Linux user or when they dismiss Linux distros for reasons like "it's free so it sucks" and "it's too hard." How did I get Linux installed? I RTFM.

-drasnor :fold:

[airbornflght]

MY COMPUTER HAS A VIRUS. HOW DO I FIX IT!!!!!!
Ok. this is really complicated, so pay attention
OK PLEASE HELP ME
Hit Alt+F4
--> Ignoramus has left chat room

[RWB]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/pit/320304562.html

Found this... I first thought it must have been one of my co-workers, except it's from Pittsburgh.

[Your Amish Daddy]

I got a new one!!!

Judy: I need a windows 98 cd.
Me: Well, you're SOL there, because the lowest I have is 2000, and I've only got my one copy. Why do you need it anyway?
Judy: So I can install this network card.
Me: The files it's looking for are in C:\Windows\temp.
Judy: Is that where the windows 98 cd is?

[mas0n]

Judy: Is that where the windows 98 cd is?

Perfect example of where it is easier to say "Yes" than to say "No, you ****ing mental midget"

[Your Amish Daddy]

Yeah, but it's more fun to make them break stuff, and get paid to fix it. The stupid are a resource for the smart. Natural Selection 2.0, man

[Sledgehammer70]

In my early days of Computer building, I forgot to put a heat sink back on the CPU...

My mom about killed me... "oopppsss"

[Your Amish Daddy]

I never forgot a part, but I often forgot power.

[drasnor]

I love working on Macs because I always end up with extra screws.

-drasnor :fold:

[airbornflght]

lmao. Extra screws. They are just extraneous parts.

[RWB]

I dunno whom I hate more....

A) Jerks
B) *******s
C) Idiots
D) Smart Ass's
E) Full Certified Pricks
F) Chit Chatters

Or G) The person that pulls the multiple flank maneuver on you being A-F all together.

Currently it's G just because it's all the above and is the reason I am 10 minutes past my shifts end, and I ain't even on the call, my co-worker is and I don't wanna leave him to hang. She just won't let him go, and now my phone rings....

[Your Amish Daddy]

I always end up with extra screws no matter what I'm working on.

[bothered]

Sometimes though it works the other way around.
I had to call my ISP to get my email account password, after a format and I couldn't remember it. After half an hour with this Asian chap trying to tell me I didn't have the email address I had been using for eight years he passed on to customer support. They passed me back to tech support where another Asian gent totally failed to understand the concept of 'please just tell me what to type in this box', Half an hour with this one and I just hung up on him, I couldn't take any more. I tried again later and got somebody with a Welsh accent. He COULD understand basic requests and 3 minutes later I had my email account back. Sometimes with tech support you may as well ask the cat.

[Your Amish Daddy]

Usually most people can remember their email passwords. I haven't forgotten a password in my lifetime.

[bothered]

I can remember mine but this was one they gave me originally, several years ago and I haven't needed it since.

[Your Amish Daddy]

Oh yeah, I hate that crap. "Here's your password for your email! 34890712345hjqwertht"

[bothered]

Lol, very similar password actually.

[Your Amish Daddy]

I'm gonna have the nerdiest password ever. Well, I do actually. I won't tell you my actual passwords, but I'll tell you how I make'em.

I usually pick a word out of the dictionary. I won't say the word I commonly use, since apparently no one is either liberal, or everyone's racist because if the word means a racial denomination, you're the racist. It's just a friggin' word. I then make a 16bit hash of this word and that's the password I use. I have a hard time remembering actual words, but medleys of numbers and letters stick like glue.

[Thelemech]

I am no expert but have helped many fix there "G@$a*& thing" that will not work - and my "favorite" scenario involves showing them how to do the simplest tasks and how to run the Anti-Virus/Spyware/Malware for the third to fourth consecutive time!

[the_technocrat]

It absolutely astonishes me how inept people can be with computers. It's as if their capacity to learn <i>completely disappears</i> when in front of a PC, immediately treating it as if it's "Too hard" or something they can "Never learn," despite their jobs and hobbies probably having just as many facets.

Perfectly adult people who are responsible, educated, and have spent an entire lifetime learning in the pursuit of their career are suddenly unable to learn when a PC is in front of them. They turn into frightened toddlers, and I do not understand that mental complex.

People ask me "How are you so good at computers? Did you go to school?" No I didn't ****ing go to school. I sat down one day, when I was young, and decided I was really going to learn about PCs. So I experimented, researched, experimented, researched, read, researched, experimented some more. I am the product of about 9 years of my own stubborn trudging through websites and computer hardware.

I know PCs because I wanted to learn PCs. When I sit down in front of a new program, I don't freak out and ask for help; I work through whatever problems I encounter myself. I troubleshoot, experiment, and eliminate options -- I don't ask for help until there are no options left.

"OMG you're so smart how did you install Windows Vista?" I hear that one a lot. You know how I installed vista? I read the on-screen instructions, pulled in a little wisdom from past experiences, and clicked a few buttons. SHOCKING!

I cannot understand the infantile degeneration of people's learning abilities in front of a PC, and it irritates me.

my experience has been that people feel they deserve a lifetime of coasting for the work they've already put into learning their trade. They don't realize that learning is a never-ending, lifetime process. I subscribe to about 90 feeds to keep current with what I do, as I feel it is the bare minimum to remain knowledgeable in my field. I don't have anyone around me that recognizes this as the *bare minimum* for someone in IT: just keeping up with everything.

What you're running into is the majority of people - they want the benefits of living in a digital age, but they feel that a dedicated "IT person" should take care of all of the computer-related stuff in their life. For some reason, most people want this compartmentalization. They (sometimes) don't realize the inefficiencies in doing so exclude them from being as productive as they could be, and generally make them a liability to everyone around them...

Summary: People in general need to develop a yearnin' fo' learnin'.

[the_technocrat]

I am no expert but have helped many fix there "G@$a*& thing" that will not work - and my "favorite" scenario involves showing them how to do the simplest tasks and how to run the Anti-Virus/Spyware/Malware for the third to fourth consecutive time!

I keep a cache of emails in my draft folder at work. One is the ad-aware / AVG tutorial. Another is the cleanup wizard / defrag. Since people ask the same questions (sometimes the same people ask the same questions over and over), I send out the same solutions... saves me time, I recommend it. :smiles:

[Your Amish Daddy]

I never lost my yearnin' fo' learnin', since I learn a ton of new crap every day. Like don't pee in a toilet when it's got cheap bleach in it after you wake up because it may friggin' kill you. (Learned that just ten minutes ago, ain't I smart?)