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View Full Version : Can someone clean this up for me?


airbornflght
23 Jun 2007, 01:50am
I need someone who would take a few minutes to shorten/condense this just a tad bit. It's from my resume and atm its a tad bit too long and I don't think that it is fluid enough.

My participation in Church, Boy Scouts, school, and volunteer activities have helped me learn responsibility, leadership, communication skills, and discipline that will enable me to be an employee that is productive and dependable. I am a creative, abstract thinker who loves to dream big and to foster my creativity and knack for innovation. My leadership style can be best describe as diplomatic, though I am also an empowering leader that is comfortable in taking risks. However, as a leader, my courage and risk taking is not done impulsively. Rather I lead with responsibility and steady. My best assets are my abilities to be a sharp and quick learner.

jared
23 Jun 2007, 03:06am
afk for 3 days. LAN in progress.

macdude425
23 Jun 2007, 03:16am
^^FTW.

My participation in various volunteer activities has helped me learn responsibility, leadership, communication skills, and discipline that will enable me to be an employee that is productive and dependable. I am a creative, abstract thinker who loves to dream big and to foster my creativity and knack for innovation. My leadership style can be best described as diplomatic, though I am also an empowering leader that is comfortable in taking risks; however, I always lead with responsibility. My best assets are my abilities to be a sharp and quick learner.
Try that. I also fixed two subject-verb conflicts.

Kwitko
23 Jun 2007, 03:27am
TBH, you'll never get yourself a free Asus laptop with a resume like that.

muddocktor
23 Jun 2007, 05:15am
Aren't you so glad that you have friends like this to help you out with your resume?:rockon::vimp:

Jengo
23 Jun 2007, 03:33pm
im glad this thread has been cleaned up, seriously.