This is why you're single.

17810121319

Comments

  • RahnalH102RahnalH102 the Green Devout, Veteran Monster Hunter, Creature Enthusiast New Mexico Icrontian
    MAGIC said:

    midga said:

    Well, I have no problem dating. I don't even have issues asking people out on dates. It's led me to some great friendships and relationships. I don't know if you know much about west Texas, but there's just not many people out here at all I'm even remotely interested in having coffee with, much less a whole meal. That's not to say people out here are bad or suck or anything. Most are very nice, and I enjoy chatting with. They're just not my type. I often say, "Anyone who wants to stay out here is not someone I'm interested in, and anyone I'm interested in is busy working on getting the fuck outta here." As with anything there are exceptions, but the exceptions I've met are unavailable. That's why the deliberation. The hesitation comes with not really doing the whole social internets thing. It's just not my bag. I avoid Facespace and MyBook and the other stuffs (except Instagram cause square = better) for the same reason. The only reason I even pop up here is because I like y'all a lot (except Tim. Fuck that guy).

    So, like I said then, the problem is dealing with physical distance. If I was in Dallas, I might still be dating the girl I met this summer. If I was in Detroit, I'd have asked Jackie out for beverages a long time ago. If I was, generally, anywhere less remote and conservative than here, I would likely not have even posted to this thread. But, in hyper-conservative desert-land-island country I am. That's why I was considering OkC.

    Problem 1: you come off as super antisocial. You generalizing all of Texas as a place full of people that you are not compatible with is a cop out. Fun fact: there is no magic place of like minded people where you will meet all people who share your interests/life views. Do the leg work to get yourself into situations where you can meet like minded people.

    Problem 2: you come off as pompous. By saying "I don't do facebook or any social networking" makes you sound like a douche. Most women do do facebook and as soon as you drop that you sound like you're a high and mighty hipster on your anti-tech mountain.

    My two cents.
    I'm gonna argue with you here, but only on one slight point because I agree with all the others.

    "You generalizing all of Texas as a place full of people that you are not compatible with is a cop out."

    True this is a cop out, BUT he is only generalizing West Texas which I can vouch for his opinion of being fairly scant of people, let alone environment. Especially if he's in the area I think he is in. I lived there for awhile and easily see his point. That being said, I also met plenty of fun and interesting people there and support your point that it's a cop out.

    My point is, West Texas is somewhat barren.

    Carry on.
  • midgamidga "There's so much hot dog in Rome" ~digi (> ^.(> O_o)> Icrontian
    MAGIC said:

    midga said:

    Well, I have no problem dating. I don't even have issues asking people out on dates. It's led me to some great friendships and relationships. I don't know if you know much about west Texas, but there's just not many people out here at all I'm even remotely interested in having coffee with, much less a whole meal. That's not to say people out here are bad or suck or anything. Most are very nice, and I enjoy chatting with. They're just not my type. I often say, "Anyone who wants to stay out here is not someone I'm interested in, and anyone I'm interested in is busy working on getting the fuck outta here." As with anything there are exceptions, but the exceptions I've met are unavailable. That's why the deliberation. The hesitation comes with not really doing the whole social internets thing. It's just not my bag. I avoid Facespace and MyBook and the other stuffs (except Instagram cause square = better) for the same reason. The only reason I even pop up here is because I like y'all a lot (except Tim. Fuck that guy).

    So, like I said then, the problem is dealing with physical distance. If I was in Dallas, I might still be dating the girl I met this summer. If I was in Detroit, I'd have asked Jackie out for beverages a long time ago. If I was, generally, anywhere less remote and conservative than here, I would likely not have even posted to this thread. But, in hyper-conservative desert-land-island country I am. That's why I was considering OkC.

    Problem 1: you come off as super antisocial. You generalizing all of Texas as a place full of people that you are not compatible with is a cop out. Fun fact: there is no magic place of like minded people where you will meet all people who share your interests/life views. Do the leg work to get yourself into situations where you can meet like minded people.

    Problem 2: you come off as pompous. By saying "I don't do facebook or any social networking" makes you sound like a douche. Most women do do facebook and as soon as you drop that you sound like you're a high and mighty hipster on your anti-tech mountain.

    My two cents.
    Response 1: Good point, and while it wasn't my intent, I do see what you mean. Truth is, I have done a lot of legwork. I have met some really cool people, too. I am still actively looking for good places and groups. West Texas is not totally barren of people I am potentially compatible with. My statement was slightly hyperbolic, and I appreciate you pointing out the negativity. I'm from other parts of Texas, and I assure you the ratios in the central and south-east regions are much better. I think Rah knows what I mean.

    Response 2: Okay, yeah, that's fair. I worded that douchily, I recognize that. I have reasons for disliking the sorts of things as Facebook and such, and "because I think it's cool to not like it" isn't high on the list. If you want to know the truth, I would love to be comfortable with Facebook. I have a lot of friends that use it, and it would be great to keep in touch. It's not for lack of trying. As I look at OkC more, however, it's becoming less overwhelming. I think I might give it an honest try to at least find some people around here to hang out with. I've already sent a couple messages (prompted by the email lists of people it sends you), though I haven't filled out my profile yet.

    When it comes down to it, though, being actively social with lots of people exhausts me. Maybe this makes me tend toward antisocial behavior. I'm generally not antisocial in social situations, though. I just need more alone time to recharge than most people I know seem to. With the demands of my job, that's left me not going out a lot after work and on the weekends the last few months. I'm making a point of breaking out tomorrow and seeing my friends at the yarn shop because I do need to get out and see non-work-related people.

    Thinking about it, I guess I originally posted to get feedback without really being certain what I wanted feedback on. Or maybe I wanted some encouragement one way or another. Maybe I've gotten way too personal in a public forum. I dunno. I do appreciate the feedback, though. It's always helpful to learn myself from other perspectives. :)
  • TeramonaTeramona Consulting Tea Specialist Best Coast! Icrontian
    I was only on OKCupid for about 3 or 4 days... The worst I ever got was when someone asked me if I was "DTF". I had to ask my brother what that meant, which, on the whole, was a much more awkward experience. But then I met Dan, and he ended up being a really great and well adjusted guy for the most part.
  • djmephdjmeph Detroit Icrontian
    Here is a general bit of advice for everyone. Don't let the person you like know that you like them in a public setting before you tell them directly. It's passive aggressive, it makes them feel like they've been backed into a corner, and it will turn off the person you like, whether they are a man or a woman.
    ickybodclayJBoogaloo
  • CBCB Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Der Millionendorf- Icrontian
    You mean, like this?

  • MomOfRoseMomOfRose Member
    edited December 2012
    midga said:

    When it comes down to it, though, being actively social with lots of people exhausts me. Maybe this makes me tend toward antisocial behavior. I'm generally not antisocial in social situations, though. I just need more alone time to recharge than most people I know seem to. With the demands of my job, that's left me not going out a lot after work and on the weekends the last few months. I'm making a point of breaking out tomorrow and seeing my friends at the yarn shop because I do need to get out and see non-work-related people.

    This does not make you antisocial. This is an indication that you are in introvert, like myself. The very basic definition of extrovert is someone who receives energy by socializing with a number of people; an introvert is drained of energy during/after socialization. There are varying degrees to this, some folks more introverted/extroverted than others. Having to deal with extroverted people frequently can be tiring (being an introvert whose child is an extrovert is very exhausting for me), but you just need to be able to communicate your limitations. @UPSLynx and I do very well together because we can get "together" time without really doing anything.
  • djmephdjmeph Detroit Icrontian
    CB said:

    You mean, like this?

    That's a different situation entirely, but yes, definitely talk to your significant other about marriage before you propose to them in public.

    I would never propose to someone in public. If I were a woman, I'd probably kick a guy in the dick for doing that.

    RahnalH102
  • JBoogalooJBoogaloo This too shall pass... Alexandria, VA Icrontian
    djmeph said:

    CB said:

    You mean, like this?

    That's a different situation entirely, but yes, definitely talk to your significant other about marriage before you propose to them in public.

    I would never propose to someone in public. If I were a woman, I'd probably kick a guy in the dick for doing that.

    I got my cup on, so I'll take my chances. Hey Meph, will you marry me? :)
    RahnalH102CantiBlueTattoo
  • djmephdjmeph Detroit Icrontian
    edited January 2013
    It's nuts how hostile women are on OKCupid in their profiles. I am seeing so many profiles that start out with, "No shirtless douchebags, no I don't want a one night stand, please know the difference between your and you're, etc."

    Women must be getting something out of it if they're not just deleting their profiles. But the kind of guy that's going to do that is probably doing it because they feel it's a numbers game. If they harass enough women, they'll eventually find one that has low enough self-esteem to fall for it. So they're just going to do it anyway, maybe even in spite of your pleas.

    Ladies, any thoughts? Does that work to turn away the dbs? Do you find that you are still using the service and getting something out of it, despite the barrage of creepsters that harass you on the daily?
  • GnomeQueenGnomeQueen The Lulz Queen Mountain Dew Mouth Icrontian
    I feel a little bad. I keep forgetting my OkC exists.

    I haven't put anything like that in my profile, but honestly part of me kind of wants to. I don't think I'd put anything that harsh, but it is kind of frustrating constantly getting messages that are demeaning. It's not a massive problem; the bad messages can be pretty amusing.

    But yea, OkC is a LOT of weeding, and most of the time I just don't feel like it's worth the effort.
  • djmephdjmeph Detroit Icrontian
    My theory is that it would only get worse if you put something harsh in your profile like that. I don't think there are a bunch of dumb guys out there waiting for women to tell them how to act.

    My ultimate theory is that there must be something to gain from being a douchebag, or they wouldn't exist. Jersey Shore taught us that there is a group of women out there that will fall for that kind of thing.
  • GnomeQueenGnomeQueen The Lulz Queen Mountain Dew Mouth Icrontian
    I think it would be more that the people that would message me would craft their messages to avoid the things I said, rather than actually make anything worse. The only worse thing would be that the natural douchebaggery would be better disguised.

    I think it's less that there are a lot of women attracted to the rampant douchebaggery, and more that there are desperate women who'll go for anything.
  • CantiCanti =/= smalltime http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9K18CGEeiI&feature=related Icrontian
    I feel that the kind of girl who thinks it necessary to state the kind of things Meph is talking about at the top of their profile is not the kind of girl the nondouchers are going to be interested in. At least in my case when I see that kind of thing I don't even consider talking to them and I'm fairly certain I don't fit into the dbag category. Or I'm the biggest douche, either way the whole thing seems counterproductive to me.
    midga
  • TeramonaTeramona Consulting Tea Specialist Best Coast! Icrontian
    It's interesting. I treated my OKCupid profile like any other profile I have on the internet... or really, like anything I've ever posted on the internet. Girls who post that kind of stuff seem like they don't have enough words to properly convey any kind of real idea. They have to tell you what kind of person they are, rather than show you. I mean, among other things, it's just bad writing.
    midga
  • GnomeQueenGnomeQueen The Lulz Queen Mountain Dew Mouth Icrontian
    edited January 2013
    Finally went through some messages today. Got some interesting ones recently-- One message only said "I like it." Another one was from a guy who had both "Horny" and "Cash" in his username. Got another message that started out with "I'm not intimidated by a smart woman!" ...Gotta say, stating that off the bat actually makes me think the opposite. My favorite was from a saving it till marriage conservative religious dude. We were like 55% enemies with completely different values.....No idea why he'd message me.
    RahnalH102primesuspectStraight_Mandjmeph
  • GnomeQueenGnomeQueen The Lulz Queen Mountain Dew Mouth Icrontian
    I'd also recommend you not use the name "DesperateBro"
    CantiJBoogaloodjmephmidga
  • JBoogalooJBoogaloo This too shall pass... Alexandria, VA Icrontian
    Doankneethingforsecs ok? Just wondering...for a friend.
    Tushon
  • NemikanNemikan Icrontian
    edited January 2013
    I've started a profile a bit ago. From what I've seen, the vast majority of people have the exact same basic stuff in their profile. Chances are I'm generalizing too much (which usually happens). At least for me, I'm a bit weird and a bit picky so, chances are slim for me to begin with. /shrugs

    I think this article summarize how a lot of these sites end up which causes the girls to not send messages, and the guys to not get responses:
    http://www.zdnet.com/blog/violetblue/ten-fake-profiles-one-okcupid-experiment-okcupid-on-trial/1405
  • JBoogalooJBoogaloo This too shall pass... Alexandria, VA Icrontian
    That's. Awesome. :)
  • djmephdjmeph Detroit Icrontian
    I've been on OKCupid now for more than two years. Just looked back and found messages that date back to Oct 2010. And I'm not jaded. Nope, not one bit.
  • WagsFTWWagsFTW Grand Rapids, MI Icrontian
    @Lincoln I remember when you were showing me his profile and when you got that message. It was so sweet, and I could tell you were crazy about him. I'm so glad to see things going so well for you. <3
  • primesuspectprimesuspect Beepin n' Boopin Detroit, MI Icrontian
    Okay, which one of you is using our name to mack on the ladies?
    Canti
  • ThraxThrax 🐌 Austin, TX Icrontian
    He had me at his skill with "pointing out the wonderful intricacies of the natural world."

    image
    JBoogalooIlriyas
  • CrazyJoeCrazyJoe Winter Springs, FL Icrontian
    He can be awesome.
  • TushonTushon I'm scared, Coach Alexandria, VA Icrontian
    Thrax said:

    He had me at his skill with "pointing out the wonderful intricacies of the natural world."

    image

    The amorphous nature of these hips don't lie, but they got me hooked
  • djmephdjmeph Detroit Icrontian
    edited January 2013
    "Has cats"
  • djmephdjmeph Detroit Icrontian
    Women on OKCupid love to pretend that they have facial hair, and it goes well beyond marker mustaches. I've talked to or been on dates with a handful of women that joked around about having a beard. I wonder what that's all about.
  • JBoogalooJBoogaloo This too shall pass... Alexandria, VA Icrontian
    djmeph said:

    I've talked to or been on dates with a handful of women that joked around about having a beard. I wonder what that's all about.

    I immediately began thinking, 1970's adult film star "beards". There's my guess.
Sign In or Register to comment.