This is why you're single.

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Comments

  • djmephdjmeph Detroit Icrontian
    edited October 2011
    pit bull
  • ShortyShorty Manchester, UK Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    Met my wife online due to mutual love of Call of Duty, Grand Theft Auto, US tv shows, fast cars and Jack Daniels.

    The love was actually discovered and declared during a game of Modern Warfare 2 on a wet sunday night (she was 5 for 5 straight wins in domination, she was smoking the other team).

    Marriage proposed over a bottle of finest Scot Whisky in Edinburgh (pah @ champagne) after a ghost hunt.

    There is someone out there for everyone. Does not matter how you find them and they find you :)
  • QCHQCH Ancient Guru Chicago Area - USA Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    Love that story... always brings a tear to my eyes when you tell it, Papa Shorty.
  • ThraxThrax 🐌 Austin, TX Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    Lgf4Y.png
  • boasistboasist Troy
    edited November 2011
    What would you say the percentage of truly fake people on OKCupid is? Meaning spambots, chinese workers farming email addresses?

    Low or high?
  • ardichokeardichoke Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    It's very hard to say (accurately) because OkCupid is (IMO) VERY good at matching you up with similar people and hiding the crap. Therefore, if you're not a spambot, you're unlikely to see spambots. (Also, when people find spambots, they tend to report them and OKC nukes them).

    I was on OKC for a good 5 years and I think I was contacted by maybe 2 or 3 fake accounts that whole time.
  • djmephdjmeph Detroit Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    Very low, I think I've encountered one since I've been on.
  • boasistboasist Troy
    edited November 2011
    OK, djmeph, if you see that a man recently viewed your profile. It is likely me, that is all.

    I wanted to see what kind of work the nakedredhead laid out.
  • primesuspectprimesuspect Beepin n' Boopin Detroit, MI Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    boasist and djmeph sittin in a tree
  • MAGICMAGIC Doot Doot Furniture City, Michigan Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    Thrax wrote:
    Lgf4Y.png

    I appreciate this.
  • RyanMMRyanMM Ferndale, MI Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    djmeph wrote:
    Fudge, I'm three messages in with this girl and I already told her that I hang out with furries. This is why I'm single.

    Have you never read Savage love? There are certain things that you can hold off on telling people until you're a dozen dates in. They're fairly inconsequential, but can be deal-breakers when you're in that early, "Let's separate the wheat from the chaff with some hard rules" phase. That's one of them.

    This is something I wrote about dating a while ago. It was a response to this, which offended me on many levels. I've learned a lot since then; I wrote it well before I came to be more sure of myself and became totally comfortable with who I was and what I had to offer. I wouldn't change a word.
  • djmephdjmeph Detroit Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    That's a tough one. I've been known to spill just about everything on the first date from my obsession with trains to my cavorting with furries to my history of drug addiction. In my head I think it makes me seem interesting, cool and resilient, but I can't imagine what's going through these girls heads sometimes. Also, a dozen dates seems like a lot to me, but maybe that's my problem.
  • djmephdjmeph Detroit Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    Also, I'm glad you quit smoking, Ryan. That was the only part of passport's article that I agreed with.
  • ShortyShorty Manchester, UK Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    Thrax wrote:
    Random image...

    Hey dude, it's Manchester, England. It rains here so much, anyone driving a convertible is a visitor...! ;)
  • RyanMMRyanMM Ferndale, MI Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    Yeah, I'm really glad I quit smoking. I'm really lucky Leah put up with smoker Ryan for the first year of our relationship, because she could've used that as a reason to walk away with no regrets and then we'd never be this bouncy happy couple.

    I understand where you're coming from on the full disclosure thing. You're a very off-the-cuff kind of person and you don't filter in the slightest, but it's one of those things that wouldn't be such a bad thing to work on. Being selective about some of the stuff that comes up on the first half-dozen dates isn't necessarily misleading when it's not core personality/behavior stuff.

    There's stuff about me that I definitely wasn't anxious to tell Leah and stuff about her that I'm glad I found out after I was already starting to seriously dig her. Everyone's got flaws/quirks/eccentricities, but it's REALLY hard to appreciate those when they're in the 10% of stuff you know about someone new versus the 1% you know after learning a lot more.

    Obsessed with trains? Not much wrong with it, and it is a like/preference. I'd get that out early, maybe date 3.

    Your drug history? That's a big make or break thing with some women, and anyone you're with should be comfortable knowing your history with drugs and accept that without problems. That's a date 3 or 4.

    Hanging out with furries? It just means you've got some friends with a niche interest, it's not really relevant to your personality. That doesn't need to come up during initial dating at all, although if you're really into the chick and taking her to a party with some furries, some advance warning might be nice. You'd be behooved to do the same if you were taking her to a party where everyone is LARPing or something.
  • djmephdjmeph Detroit Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    It's officially been three years since I quit smoking. Best decision I ever made. I started when I was 14.

    I have had many talks with people about "slowing my roll" and somehow it always slips my mind on every first date. One day I'll learn, and I do hope someday I'll have what you and Leah have. That would be great.
  • ardichokeardichoke Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    Man... it's been a year since I quit smoking (for good this time). Seems like forever ago.
  • djmephdjmeph Detroit Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    I don't think I'll ever forget the day I quit, because it was right around the time Obama got elected. I was in Vegas for SEMA, for a whole week. I had brought a pack of cigarettes with me and when I got home I noticed I hadn't smoked one of them. I thought how in the fuck can I go an entire week without even thinking about a cigarette... IN VEGAS.. and I think I can't quit. Haven't touched a cigarette since.

    My friend claims that I smoked with him once when I was drunk, but I am doubting the validity of that story because my not smoking became a huge inconvenience to him. I have also smoked two spliffs since then (tobacco + marijuana) and a Hooka once. The spliffs were not that great because the tobacco hit me much harder than the weed, and I'd rather just get high. I'll probably smoke a hooka again though.
  • RyanMMRyanMM Ferndale, MI Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    A year is a good length of time. I might've been a unique case, but I went from a pack to pack and a half a day habit and in one month, the cravings were a distant memory. I don't know how people can go 3, 6, 12 months without smoking and still have cravings or fall back into the habit, but maybe I'm really lucky in that regard.
  • djmephdjmeph Detroit Icrontian
    edited November 2011
    RyanMM wrote:
    A year is a good length of time. I might've been a unique case, but I went from a pack to pack and a half a day habit and in one month, the cravings were a distant memory. I don't know how people can go 3, 6, 12 months without smoking and still have cravings or fall back into the habit, but maybe I'm really lucky in that regard.

    No, it's psychological. As with most drugs, people psych themselves into thinking they can't quit. It has a lot to do with the way the media portrays these substances.
  • MAGICMAGIC Doot Doot Furniture City, Michigan Icrontian
    edited December 2011
    Is it odd to want to feel wanted?

    What if the person you want says they dont want you but wants to you to hang around with the chance they will want you some day and you want them so you want to hang around for the chance that they will want you? lolwtf.
  • primesuspectprimesuspect Beepin n' Boopin Detroit, MI Icrontian
    edited December 2011
    No, it's not odd at all. Being wanted is a core psychological need. We all torture ourselves with this stuff.
  • ardichokeardichoke Icrontian
    edited December 2011
    I didn't want any of this
  • BlackHawkBlackHawk Bible music connoisseur There's no place like 127.0.0.1 Icrontian
    edited December 2011
    Pretty much sums up OkCupid for me.
  • ardichokeardichoke Icrontian
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, not everyone on there is like that though. I met quite a few nice women on OKC over the years. As I stated earlier, one of them introduced me to my current (and first long-term) gf through there as well.
  • djmephdjmeph Detroit Icrontian
    edited December 2011
    MAGIC wrote:
    Is it odd to want to feel wanted?

    What if the person you want says they dont want you but wants to you to hang around with the chance they will want you some day and you want them so you want to hang around for the chance that they will want you? lolwtf.

    I don't know about you, but I've always longed for the day my dream girl eventually caved in and said, ahhh what the hell.
  • MAGICMAGIC Doot Doot Furniture City, Michigan Icrontian
    edited December 2011
    djmeph wrote:
    I don't know about you, but I've always longed for the day my dream girl eventually caved in and said, ahhh what the hell.

    I think I'm just going to start being an asshole. See how that works. Chicks dig dudes that treat them like shit.
  • djmephdjmeph Detroit Icrontian
    edited December 2011
    MAGIC wrote:
    I think I'm just going to start being an asshole. See how that works. Chicks dig dudes that treat them like shit.

    This is true. I tried it for a short time. It worked.

    My scientific theory on this has to do with consistency. If you're consistently nice, respectable, etc. even if you're not a pushover, you set that expectation so if you fuck up, that stands out. But if you consistently treat a girl like garbage, you set that expectation, then it stands out when you do something nice.

    It also has a lot to do with availability. Right now, you'd think that without any recent relationship baggage and a pretty solid outlook on life, I'd be set. I feel like it should be ok for me to make myself available and show that I'm worth the commitment. But I seem to always make myself too available and it's standing in the way of me finding a good relationship.

    Someone rip my heart out so I can love again.
  • PirateNinjaPirateNinja Icrontian
    edited December 2011
    You can be confident with out being an ass hole, give it a shot you jaded think too muchers.
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