i'm making a movie and i need pun!

oni_delsoni_dels Drunk French CanadianMontréal, Québec.
edited April 2014 in The Pub

So i'm back at it. Writting another terrible shortfilm involving sandwiches and the destruction of stuff. (My old ones can be seen on my youtube channel btw.)

Anyways, i need your help icrontic.
Come up with horror movie pun involving sandwiches, and ill put it in my crappy movie, with a note at the end thanking you.
It can also be a game or anything not even horror related ( im doing a iron bread joke, iron man as a sandwich)

I already have left 4 bread, so dont post that.

EDIT: i should've specify, the sandwich are the evil. so they are "living" entities, that fly around and kill people, possibly eating them.


  • JBoogalooJBoogaloo This too shall pass... Alexandria, VA

    "This is my BREAD stick!" - Salami of Darkness

    "We just cut up our **sandwich **with a chainsaw, does that sound "fine"? - Evil Bread 2

    "Gimme back my ham...GIMME BACK MY HAM!" - Evil Bread 2

  • ThraxThrax Professional Shill, Watch Slut, Mumble Hivemind Drone Austin, TX

    Dude's at a deli, eating a pastrami on rye. Horde of evil shit unfolds, hero with the sandwich lays down the law.

    Punchline as he takes a bite of his sandwich: "I guess you could say it was a cole slawter."

  • colacola part legend, part devil... all man Balls deep
    edited April 2014
    1. Dawn of the Bread
    2. The Wheat is not Enough
    3. Bread Rising
  • SonorousSonorous F@H Fanatic US

    Catcher in the Rye anyone? Maybe it could be a film about homosexual zombie porn.

  • RequitRequit That one guy Somewhere over there, I don't know

    Man sitting at a sandwich shop munching on some breaded delicacy. Assassin drops from the roof but is dispached by the dude's sandwich toothpick after a quick fight. Looking at the body, he says "That attempt was half-baked."

    Man walks into a church and beats down a bunch of vampires with a loaf of bread in the shape of a cross while shouting "GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY BREAD!"

    Pan in on a gruff looking guy in the mountains surrounded by a bunch of Mongols. He sees a yak rampaging in the village, so he pulls a roll out of his bag and tosses it to the bovine. It eats the roll and it goes from goring random people and crushing huts to rolling on the ground giggling. When the villagers look at him, he says "Looks like it has 'Silly Yak' disease."
    That one was bad, I'm sorry.

  • BuddyJBuddyJ Dept. of Propaganda OKC

    Have a character say "What is this, Attack of the Killer Bacon Lettuce and Tomatoes?"

    Character is attacked by a chicken salad sandwich. "Let's make it a chicken club!" and smashes it with a bat.

  • JBoogalooJBoogaloo This too shall pass... Alexandria, VA
    edited April 2014

    A crowded Jewish deli on Sunday morning. Dude behind the counter leaps up with his massive beard and challah loaf split in half and screams, "I will now present unto thee these 10 condiments!"

  • All work and no sandwich makes Oni a dull boy.

    I see bread people.

  • colacola part legend, part devil... all man Balls deep
    edited April 2014

    "this is the greatest invention since sliced bread"

  • d3k0yd3k0y Loveland, OH

    In Soviet Quebec, Bread slices you!

  • JBoogalooJBoogaloo This too shall pass... Alexandria, VA

    Two heroes watching the loaf overloads flying in above their destroyed city...
    Hero 1: "If we don't toast these muthas..."
    Hero 2: "...We'll be bread by dawn."

  • IlriyasIlriyas The Syrupy Canadian Toronto, Ontario
    edited April 2014

    The Walking Bread? Anyone? I thought this would've been done by now.

    Anyways scenario, The state of the world has gone mysteriously awry, sandwiches the world over have begun rebelling against their former masters. In hushed tones there have been rumours of a sandwich the 'Kaiser Kaisersemmel' guiding the others on a crusade of revenge.

    It is left up to you, Brett Ryeley, Hardcrusted Detective extraordinaire, being on a knead to know basis with the Breadsident to get to the bottom of things.

    "Never should've taken this case, no matter how far I dig the dish only gets deeper but someone's got to rise to the occasion."

    Note: I had originally made two rye jokes (Arye) but I felt it better to stick to one per, eh do with it what you will.

  • SonorousSonorous F@H Fanatic US

    If you ever give on making this sort film, you could just record 20 to 30 minutes on a French baguette set to France's nation anthem. Fin.

  • trooster89trooster89 Are you from London?

    Its way harder trying to actively think of them. usually the puns just find me.
    I'm tryin hard, but this is all I've got for now.

    Guy with sword/ knife :[creepily motioning] "how would you like yours : Down the middle or across?

    "looks like he's about to get his buns toasted"
    [throws molatav / or something involving fire]

  • LeahVoiceLeahVoice Hobgoblin of Good Grooming Ferndale, MI
    edited April 2014

    Ham-abil Lector (He was the character in "Silence of the Hams")

    a KILLED cheese sandwich

    Swiss and Turkey on DIE bread

    A knuckle sandwich (literallly)

    Do not ask for whom the BLT tolls....

    A feetball sub

    The gyro-tine (like guillotine-yes, I'm stretching it here!)

    A five MAULER footlong

  • oni_delsoni_dels Drunk French Canadian Montréal, Québec.

    for reference, here's the 2008 "worldly acclaimed" The Blair Sandwich Projekt

  • d3k0yd3k0y Loveland, OH

    The phone bit made that video.

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