Kyle is gone



  • CyrixInsteadCyrixInstead Stoke-on-Trent, England Icrontian

    So sorry to hear such tragic news, Kyle will be missed by many people.

  • LincLinc Bard Detroit Icrontian

    There is a candlelight memorial being organized by Kyle's friends at The Dovetail (previously Tracey's Cafe) in Warren on Saturday at 7pm:

  • GnomeQueenGnomeQueen The Lulz Queen Mountain Dew Mouth Icrontian

    FYI if you're going to the war memorial, we're still at the funeral home

  • the_technocratthe_technocrat IC-MotY1 Indy Icrontian

    I'm sorry I can't be there today. Hugs for everyone.

  • SnarkasmSnarkasm Madison, WI Icrontian


    Just... <3

  • LincLinc Bard Detroit Icrontian

    I want to stress that anyone is welcome here to mourn Kyle’s loss tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. This pain will last forever and if you cannot be with is today, we will deeply value your presence whenever it’s possible.

  • KwitkoKwitko Sheriff of Banning (Retired) By the thing near the stuff Icrontian
    edited October 2019

    It was nice seeing some old faces in our time of grief. Next time we all meet I hope it's under better circumstances.

  • adarryladarryl No Man Stands So Tall As When He Stoops To Help a Child. Icrontian

    I don't follow the boards daily so I did not learn of this horrible news until now. No one can know the depth of your pain so there are no words of comfort anyone can really give. I will ask my Catherine to watch over Kyle until he and your family are reunited.

  • AlexDeGruvenAlexDeGruven Wut? Meechigan Icrontian

    I still don't have much in the way of words. Stopping by last night helped me express my love for this community in the best way I know how.

    I love this group more than I could ever properly express in words.

  • LincLinc Bard Detroit Icrontian

    The service on Thursday was really great. Thank you to everyone that came to the service, came to the celebration, donated, visited, or reached out. It was standing room only, and that was after they brought every spare chair they could.

    I spoke first, and then most of the family took their turns. Ray didn't think he'd be able to speak, but he did, and it was awesome. I think I kept my shit together the least of all of us but I did finally figure out I should turn away from the mic when I sputtered. I was in awe of Tracey and Brian. I ran and hid so many times during the visitation hours, and they just soldiered on, greeting every single person, and then found the words to talk to all of us.

    The last couple speakers were close friends of Kyle (Connor and RJ), and they really were amazing. All his friends are so fucking good. Then Perry got up. Perry gave a eulogy that was only a couple minutes, and it was like this grand climax to the whole day. He could've kicked the podium over when he was done and we would've cheered. I was so fucking proud. Like always.

    Bookending the eulogies with Perry was infinitely meaningful to me.

    The War Memorial was so beautiful. I'd never been there, and it was overwhelming. Panoramic glass windows overlooking the lake, an exceptional buffet, so many friends. And then some of us gathered down on the seawall for the last bit and finished our drinks and more hugs, Perry's circle of friends and a small circle of Icrontians, side by side.

    One of Kyle or Perry's friends was seated by himself a ways down the seawall, obviously hurting and unable to join the group for whatever reason. Perry broke away from the group and did his intense stride over to him and hopped on the seawall next to him and sat down. And I just nodded, because he's the prince of fucking Icrontic and of course that's what he would do.

    And then so much Smash Brothers back at the house. The family stopped by, and Icrontians kept Perry laughing and delivering smack talk until morning came again. (And then did it again last night.) My thumb was sprained badly over a week ago, so I couldn't join, and I was impossibly tired by 1:30am, but I couldn't drag myself away so I slept on the couch by the fire, periodically awoken by triumphant shouts and laughs, and I smiled every time.

  • WinfreyWinfrey waddafuh Missouri Icrontian

    If @FreshyP would at all be willing, it would be amazing to have his eulogy posted. It was so beautiful and perfect and I didn't stop crying the entire time he spoke.

  • LincLinc Bard Detroit Icrontian
    edited October 2019

    it would be amazing to have his eulogy posted

    He did express willingness. Working on it. (Lots of folks have been requesting it.)

  • LincLinc Bard Detroit Icrontian

    Before Perry shares his and sets the bar too high, this is (more or less) how I began the eulogies on Thursday:

    In April 2007, I moved several states away into the basement of a friend I met on the Internet. That’s a really hard thing to explain to people. But it’s far harder to explain what happened next.

    Lying on my bed that first night in Michigan there was a note from Brian, Tracey, and the kids that said “Welcome home”. I still have that note. But it wasn’t a superficial kindness. It was my new reality. The four of them, along with Ray and Joanie, made me part of their family.

    I already loved Perry and Kyle when I moved in. I’d known them for years already, and at 7- and 8-years old they were already unlike any kids I’d ever met. I had no idea how much more I’d soon love them.

    When I moved in, I was dad’s friend. A year or two later, I remember thinking I wish they’d started calling me 'uncle', but it was too late now. It took me many years longer to realize it just didn’t matter. When I started getting Father’s Day cards, I could’ve died happy right then, my life complete.

    I moved here for an opportunity. I stayed because of my family.

    The last time I remember Kyle coming over, he immediately gave me a hug. He spent all of 3 minutes in the house, and then he hugged me again before he left. And that pretty much summed him up. He loved people and he wasn’t afraid to make sure you knew it. He taught me a lot about loving freely without worry about reciprocation. Who possibly wouldn’t love you? Obviously, no one.

    When Kyle and Perry were much younger, elementary age, they would often play a video game called Team Fortress 2 with Brian and I. It’s a 12 vs 12 game played online, and we play with an open mic so all 24 people can talk together. One night, Brian and I told the kids they could curse. One night only, no restrictions.

    You could feel the anticipation build as they pondered their options and waited for their moment. Finally, in the heat of battle, Kyle cried out, “This is a real fuck fight!” and the entire server lost it, laughing and yelling. I was delighted. Perry didn’t even try to follow that act, and there was no more kid curses that evening as the adults recycled that now-immortal line over and over.

    What I love about that story is that given an opportunity to pour his heart into a curse, Kyle didn’t choose to express anger or curse at a person. He was joyous and excited, and he cursed in a voice overflowing with happiness. That’s who Kyle was.

    We’re going to hear memories and stories from his family and a few of his friends today. Not under the delusion we’re going to feel any better about what happened when it’s all over, but in the hope that we all walk out these doors a little better prepared to live like the people Kyle believed we could be.

  • IvanIvan Icrontian
  • primesuspectprimesuspect Beepin n' Boopin Detroit, MI Icrontian

    If anyone would ever like to visit Kyle's grave site; he has a small plot next to his great-grandfather where we've buried some of his ashes. There will be a headstone there within the next few weeks.

    The cemetery is Cadillac Memorial Gardens East at 17000 17 Mile Rd, Clinton Twp, MI 48038

    I've attached a map with the approximate area of his grave site. It's right off the small road and quite easy to find. His great-grandfather's name is John Wiltshire, so if you've found that one, Kyle is right next to him.

  • primesuspectprimesuspect Beepin n' Boopin Detroit, MI Icrontian

    Kyle's headstone has been installed. I can't describe how surreal and soul-crushingly painful it is to see a headstone memorializing my baby boy. This is not something anybody should ever have to go through.

  • KwitkoKwitko Sheriff of Banning (Retired) By the thing near the stuff Icrontian

    Dagmara and I wish we were there right now to give you all big hugs.

This discussion has been closed.