The Weird But True Thread

TeramonaTeramona Consulting Tea Specialist Best Coast! Icrontian
edited July 2012 in The Pub
I was sitting around ruminating on all of the odd things that have happened to me in my life, and some of them made me laugh. It got me thinking: I bet everyone has weird and interesting stories they'd like to tell. I am interested in hearing them.

For instance... Once, while working at a bookstore, a man dressed in full scuba gear walked in through the front entrance, looked around for a moment, and then made a beeline for me. Mind you, I am quite used to strange people and having to deal with them, so I calmly asked him if I could help him.

"Yes," the man said in an English accent. "Pardon me, but you look quite a bit like my girlfriend."

I was silent as he pulled a box out from his fanny pack and opened it. In the open box was a pearl ring. I looked at the man with as straight a face as one could manage in the situation.

"... Very pretty?" I said, unsure of myself.

"Please," he asked, removing the ring from the box and gesturing toward my hand. "I just want to see."


"Just for a moment?"

Hesitantly, I held up my hand to him, and he placed the ring on my finger.

"Perfect." He said. I handed the ring back to him, and he left. I looked around at my coworkers in all their glorious stunned silence.

True story.


  • RyanFodderRyanFodder Detroit, MI Icrontian
    I would very much have liked to witness this story.
  • IlriyasIlriyas The Syrupy Canadian Toronto, Ontario Icrontian
    That definitely tops my strangest stories.

    Alright here's my go.

    I was on my way home on the subway and I spotted a lady standing at the back of the train dressed in a maid's costume holding a teddy bear, something I thought was odd as it was nowhere near Halloween and I couldn't imagine a costume party occurring at 3pm not to mention traveling to a party in costume dress on public transit.

    Turning my attention to a book I had brought with me for the trip it was only minutes later that I looked up to see that the lady was standing over me. Lost for words I simply replied with hello (Likely a shaky hello I was quite unnerved) to which the lady responded by placing the teddy bear in my lap and saying 'keep it safe' I nodded and then buried my face back into my book before the lady left the train.

    I don't know what happened to the bear.
  • TeramonaTeramona Consulting Tea Specialist Best Coast! Icrontian
    @Ilriyas... I don't know. I think yours might win. At the very least, it's scarier.
  • RyanFodderRyanFodder Detroit, MI Icrontian
    I was managing a night shift at a grocery store when a strange man came in carrying a bag of nuts he was munching on. He managed a slurred "hello" as he walked in.

    Some of my fellow coworkers came and told me that he was wondering the aisles with no apparent place to go, and trailing blood everywhere he walked.

    I approached the man, and asked him to leave the store. As I did, I noticed that his bag was filled with peanuts. And shards of glass.

    He was literally bleeding from his lips, hands, mouth and nose.

    He didn't raise a fuss and left without comment. I still had to fill out a police report.
  • CantiCanti =/= smalltime Icrontian
    edited July 2012
    Once upon a time at a Waffle House at 1am @TiberiusLazarus and I were waiting for @Lynx, @Fatcat, and @Alidra to show up. A guy came up and talked to us for awhile before wandering over to the building at which point he screamed "NEVERMIND" at nobody and started pacing back and forth while mumbling to himself. Several minutes later he came back over and asked if we could give him a ride somewhere nearby. After deciding that if it got him to leave us alone and Jimmy went with me I'd agree so I told him sure. About the time I got in the driver seat and he got in the passenger seat the people we were waiting for showed up and then JIMMY FUCKING LEFT ME ALONE WITH A CRAZY DRUGGED UP HOMELESS GUY to go on the second most uncomfortable car ride of my life. Against my better judgement I drove off with the guy going with his directions to his "hotel room". After about 10 minutes of driving in seemingly random directions we came to a stop sign where he said something like, "okay, wait he for 7 seconds". He then proceeded to stare at the floor of the car for the next 3-4 minutes without saying a word. Finally without looking up he said, "okay take a left here about a block". About 3 blocks down the road he asked me to stop at an animal hospital parking lot where he then thanked me about a thousand times, got out of the car, and just wandered off into the night. Then I drove the hell away and had waffles. THANKS JIMMY.
  • TeramonaTeramona Consulting Tea Specialist Best Coast! Icrontian
    the second most uncomfortable car ride of my life.
    I laughed.
  • primesuspectprimesuspect Beepin n' Boopin Detroit, MI Icrontian
    I walked into a Denny's bathroom in Las Vegas and it was covered in fresh human blood. It looked like someone got murdered in there.

    Here's my review:
  • LincLinc Bard Detroit Icrontian
    One time in college I was bored so I signed up for my first Internet forum. Five years later I was living in Michigan with someone I met there and then 2 months after I moved in 50 people came to live in our backyard for 4 days.
  • primesuspectprimesuspect Beepin n' Boopin Detroit, MI Icrontian
    That's impossible
  • TeramonaTeramona Consulting Tea Specialist Best Coast! Icrontian
    Lincoln said:

    One time in college I was bored so I signed up for my first Internet forum. Five years later I was living in Michigan with someone I met there and then 2 months after I moved in 50 people came to live in our backyard for 4 days.

    Pics or it didn't happen.

  • RyderRyder Kalamazoo, Mi Icrontian
    Teramona said:

    Pics or it didn't happen.

    I believe this is the correct year, I might be off by 1:

  • RyderRyder Kalamazoo, Mi Icrontian
    Nope, I am off by a year, had to be 2008. Pics show too much room in the basement.
  • primesuspectprimesuspect Beepin n' Boopin Detroit, MI Icrontian
    Ugh. Never ever let me shave my face ever again, anybody ever, okay? Christ.
  • GnomeQueenGnomeQueen The Lulz Queen Mountain Dew Mouth Icrontian
  • Straight_ManStraight_Man Geeky, in my own way Naples, FL Icrontian

    Ugh. Never ever let me shave my face ever again, anybody ever, okay? Christ.

    Ok, so long as you don't let me shave mine. ;)


    Same thought I had. Amazing.
  • TeramonaTeramona Consulting Tea Specialist Best Coast! Icrontian
    Everyone's so young and adorable...
  • colacola part legend, part devil... all man Balls deep Icrontian
    Hmm, I haven't really had any irl strange experiences like that, but I've had some odd dreams.

    The closest real weird thing that's happened to me was when I was down in Key West for a day while on vacation with my family. We were window shopping in the streets, they were pretty crowded and I ended up getting a bit separated from my family. Next thing I know something hard and round presses firmly into the middle of my back. I froze. You can imagine what was going through my head, was probably gonna get shot or kidnapped.

    I slowly turned around, I was pissed, no one's gonna pull that shit on me on my vacation. Staring back at me with a stupid grin on his face is a homeless man in a dirty floral print tee shirt with one hastily placed back under a blanket on his shopping cart thing. I glared him down, and he walked away.

    Every time I look back on that I think of how else it could have ended
  • Straight_ManStraight_Man Geeky, in my own way Naples, FL Icrontian
    I do not know how this one will go over, but it is true....

    I was 11, at summer camp, watching the older boys fish in one of the lakes it had. This summer camp was 50+ miles on rough roads from any medical facility in Wisconsin.

    Well the oldest boy, trying to cast far out, (I was up on a small hill behind him) proceeded to swing his line, with hook attached and worm wriggling on the hook, far back from the pole. He managed to hook me in the lip, worm in my mouth wriggling around.

    I screamed when he tried to loosen the hook from whatever it had been caught on-- as it resisted it tore my lip inside my mouth. I had a bleeding lip, tasting blood, and a live worm wriggling around impaled on a hook looped in the insdie of my lip.

    It was a weekend morning. The camp nurse was not on duty. The adults at camp knew someone with medical training was needed to get the hook out and sanitize my wound. The camp staff told the Scout Master where the nearest doctor was and how to get there. We set out in a car with line cut off outside my mouth.

    The doctor was not there, and the number for emergencies said he was out fishing. They told us how to find the nearest hospital, 100 miles away from the doctor's office. We set out in the car-- we got lost 3 times on the way. Finally we reached the hospital. By then it was dusk, must have been 8 PM or so as it was summertime.

    The RN and doctor proceeded to bend my lip out to see the problem. Sudden severe pain erupted. The doctor cut off the hook tip and I screamed after swallowing the worm which had wriggled partway down my throat. The nurse gave me ice to get the swelling under control, and after a while the doctor returned with some sterile thread.

    He dipped it in alcohol and proceeded to tie it to the eye of the hook. He grabbed the piece of hook away from the eye and pulled the hook and thread through the wound and out of it. Then he stitched both openings shut, while I choked on the blood coming out of the tear. then he stitched up the tear. INSIDE my mouth.

    The Scoutmaster had given the info for medical insurance to the hospital, so we were out of there for a week. We stopped and got some Listerine which the doctor told me to use after every meal for a week.

    When I got home from camp, my father bawled me out for standing too close behind fishermen.

    Honestly, John.

  • shwaipshwaip bluffin' with my muffin Icrontian
    edited July 2012
    Teramona said:

    Everyone's so young and adorable...

    Yeah, @ryder looks not a day over 72.


    Also fuckin sharky and his ut skills.
  • KwitkoKwitko Sheriff of Banning (Retired) By the thing near the stuff Icrontian
    I met a beautiful woman and married her.
  • MiracleManSMiracleManS Chambersburg, PA Icrontian

    Ugh. Never ever let me shave my face ever again, anybody ever, okay? Christ.

    Brian, I think the thing that makes it too much is that you were heavier. I can imagine you looking pretty good as svelte as you are now.

  • QuadWhoreQuadWhore Toledo, Ohio, U.S. Icrontian
    The beard adds so much flavor, Brian.
  • TeramonaTeramona Consulting Tea Specialist Best Coast! Icrontian
    @Straight_Man... I have an irrational fear of worms, and that may have been the scariest story I've ever heard.

    Also, I once caught my hair on fire attempting to blow out the candles of my birthday cake.
  • CantiCanti =/= smalltime Icrontian
    Well who hasn't? I mean honestly?
  • csimoncsimon Acadiana Icrontian
    edited July 2012
    I took a stray mutt into the next parish for a one way ride at wifey's request, because he had gotten so large and expensive to feed a year and half after he had shown up on my front porch. We called him Bullet. When Bullet and I had reached some rural area with a few nearby houses I stopped the truck, dropped the gate, and bid farewell to Bullet.
    When I returned home I could see wifey on the porch sitting in the rocker. As my eyes came to focus I could hardly believe what I saw. Bullet was perched right there by her side. I got out of the truck and asked, "How on earth did he find his way home, and so fast at that?". She simply replied "Oh, about a half an hour after you left he came running up the driveway". I vowed to solve the issue the next day.

    The next morning we woke up bright and early. After a hardy breakfast I led Bullet into the bed of the truck again and we headed out. This time I went way farther, ventured past three parishes, and up into the woodlands. After stopping the truck I realized that even I may not find my way back, but I seemed to remember the interstate being to my south. So, after Bullet took off I headed home quickly. But, as I drove up the driveway again there he was, sitting right next to her again. He wouldn't even look me in the eye. Wifey proclaimed that he came marching up the drive way about three and half hours after I left. I just couldn't believe this.

    The following day I loaded up Bullet and headed into the next state. In fact we went all the way to Houston. I was done. I couldn't believe that for two straight days I had been defeated buy a stray animal. As I released Bullet one final time I shook my headed and hurried back to the truck, and then onto the interstate.

    Well, down around Beaumont there was lots of highway construction and as usual I was lead on a detour and eventually lost. I could not believe it. I picked up the cell and dialed wifey and said "Hello". She said "Well hello there, where are you dear?" I sheepishly responded "I'm not sure". She said "Unh-hunh". I paused long and hard to swallow my pride and to gather my words and asked, "Is he there?". She said "Yes, he's right here". I asked "Would you mind asking him which route he took?".

    Bullet now travels in the back of my truck wherever I go.

    edit:// I lied it was a cat named Jack, and I haven't seen him since I took him to Disney.
  • UPSLynxUPSLynx :KAPPA: Redwood City, CA Icrontian
    edited July 2012
    hahaha! That line got me. "I basically witnessed a murder. Here's my review.

    @Straight_Man that was pretty awful. FFS, I've always had a fear of being hooked by a fisherman.

    These are great stories. I don't have anything totally outrageous off the top of my head, but I do have a good one that a few of you probably can remember.

    Icrontic Oktoberfest 2009. It was cold in the D that year. I had brought along my hat that had become such a great part of my identity over the years.

    Hat culture is seasonal, and this particular hat is not one for cold seasons. It's a summer hat. Regardless, I wore it anyways because I love it, and it was the only one I had.

    We decided to take a trip to Henry the Hatter during ICOK09. I was just taking a group, I didn't have any intention to buy a new hat. Of course, the entire time we were in the shop, the employees kept telling me that the hat I was wearing was a summer hat, and that I needed to buy a winter one. Not one to succumb to salespeople of any type, I just joked with them and ignored it. I didn't need to buy a new hat, this one was just fine. I had never heard anyone tell me it couldn't be worn during the winter, so I just assumed it a sales pitch and left the store empty handed.

    As a few of us waited outside on Dunigan to finish up his purchase, a homeless man walked by the storefront. He stopped, and pointed right at me. I was confused, so I just starred at him.

    "mang, you buy dat hat in dere?" he asked me.

    "ummm.. " I was a little confused.

    "Dat hat mang, you buy dat in dere?"

    "Well, yeah... I mean, I did." I responded.

    "Maaaan! You can't wear a hat like dat dis time of year!" and he shuffled away.

    Even the hobos of the D know how to be dapper, and he called me out on it.
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