Women: You can't get bulky. Start lifting.
The hormone testosterone is responsible for the large increases in muscle mass seen when men lift weights. Women’s testosterone levels are a fraction of men’s testosterone levels. Normal testosterone levels in men are 200-1200 ng/dl while 15-70 ng/dl are normal in women. As you can see, men’s testosterone levels are SIGNIFICANTLY higher than women’s. Even if a man is at the LOW end of the men’s normal testosterone range (200 ng/dl), he still has more than twice the amount of testosterone as a woman at the HIGH end of the women’s normal testosterone range (70 ng/dl).
If we look at the median or mid-range testosterone levels in men and women, men = 700 and women = 42.5. So on an average, men have 16.47 times more testosterone than women! It is clear that women do not have the hormonal support (testosterone) to gain muscle mass like men. Therefore, the fear of becoming big and bulky and looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger with a ponytail is unwarranted.
http://www.simplyshredded.com/the-ultimate-female-training-guide.html
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I eat regularly, I sweat when I workout and though my weight loss is MUCH slower than hers (10 lbs in a year vs 30 lbs in 4 months, we started about the same place) I am making vast improvements in my cardio stamina and endurance, lifting's improved, and overall health quality.
Just getting rid of fat is one thing. Adding muscle tone and definition is a completely different thing.