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primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts

The 2009 Expo Icrontic Red Carpet

The cameras are set up. The carpet is rolled out. Everything is in order.

A shining limousine pulls up, the door opens, and a glittering shoe touches down on the red carpet as our first guest arrives.

Don't get between GNOME QUEEN and her goal. She'll cut a bitch.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
Another car pulls up. Properly. Perfectly. A man steps out. He assesses the situation, and jots down four hundred words in a small journal. Carrying camera gear and a mean gaming rig, our friend SNARKASM approaches with a vengeance.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
Dust swirls. A tumbleweed rolls by. An eagle calls out.

The sun is blinding; a shadow descends and squinting, you are able to make out the shape of a man wearing a cowboy hat.

He saunters up, tilts his hat and says "Howdy".

None other than Icrontic's resident cowboy, JARED has arrived.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
From the sunny wastes of Florida, bearing an Xbox controller and a Guitar Hero guitar comes one of the true Icrontic game gurus, CYCLONITE
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
Soup, /THRAX/
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
Maybe one day RYDEROCZ will be able to come to an Icrontic event and not be put to work being awesome.

Nah, we won't let him
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
You've encountered a CB. Roll for initiative.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
California, it's where your GHOOSDUM lives!
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
i wanted to write a long description about the arrival of this next guy but i decided that i would keep it short and sweet because giving too many details would make it hard to read and nobody appreciates a wall of text so i'll just make it as quick as possible and say that the arrival of this guy is a first time that he will be at a icrontic event but thats cool were looking forward to it because we've played alot of games with him but never seen him in real life so this will be cool for a first time visit from _K_
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
Not everyone is here for screwing around and fun; if it weren't for hardworking, responsible people like QCH2002, we wouldn't have as much of a good time, I promise. Make sure you hug Uncle Q next time you see him.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
The man with one of the most mispronounced names in the history of IC comes forth with loud noises, silly gestures, and an assurance that we will laugh heartily at his antics. PSEUDONYM has arrived.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
Since he's on a quest for games over 10 years old, I'm not entirely sure what he'll be playing at the Expo, but I'm sure he'll find something suitable. COLGERE has (finally!) arrived.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
He like, lives here. J, who loves to argue, will be here to mince words with anybody who cares to debate
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
After your first IC Expo experience, you're no longer a noob; you're one of a grizzled crew of veterans, war-torn, haggard. BINDLESTICK may look like a hobo, but that's only because he's been in the trenches.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
SHWAIP challenged me to pistols at dawn. He has sullied my honor.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
Lucky for us, DRASNOR is taking a break from compiling the latest kernel and building his own distro just to be with us!
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
MYRMIDON HAS BLINDED US WITH SCIENCE.

And also mad medic TF2 skills.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
Lucky for Myrmidon, his wife CANNONFODDER has decided to tag along.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
From the deep, dusty wastes of Oklahoma, where they don't even have any lakes, comes a guy who has known Buddy J's sister in the biblical sense; MERTESN has arrived.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
CRAZY JOE, How'd you get so crazzzyyy?
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
MAS0N, he was like a brother to me shit we all used ta slang blaze them trees playing drinking games and shit always inta big thangs and shit it was getting wicked and shit all we did was just kick it and shit...
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
Get the newbie... get the newbie... get the newbie...

err. I mean, everybody welcome DOCFRAZIER to the madhouse. There's a few every year, and we always aim to make them feel welcome... right?

...right?

...guys?
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
A man at the forefront of Icrontic culture, and the founder of several important Icrontic memes, here comes TIBERIUSLAZARUS. Whutadick.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
The man visits so often and has slept here so many times that he could probably use my house as a tax writeoff. Needless to say, I speak of none other than the FATCAT
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
rinng.....

rinnnggg.....

Screeeeeshhhhhhhhwhhoooooofwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwkkkkkkkkkkkkk

YOU ARE NOW CONNECTED AT 28.8KBPS

WELCOME TO INTERNETZ, WINFREY.

Ooops, this post probably blew your bandwidth cap. Oh well, come to ICHQ and download whatever you want while you're up here.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
He's that one—that one guy every year. The one who's been an Icrontian for so long that he remembers when Short-Media came about, but never showed up to an event, and now decides to get off his lazy butt and get up here and meet all the people he's been friends with for years.

Yep, you guys finally get to meet PREACHER.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
Oh, and think about this; when Short-Media came about, Preacher's son REXXAR was just starting elementary school.

How old does that make you feel?
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
A party turns into a ROWDY PARTY.

A game turns into a HILARIOUS RIOT.

Goin' out drinkin' turns into A BENDER.

Must be because ANNES went with you.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
Watch your ceilings, your closets, your trees, your garage rafters; PRAG is like to scale any vertical surface in sight.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
Cherries. Rocket Fuel. Need I say more?

DOGDRAGON is back.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
På himmelen del, havene koke. Viking Invasjonen har begynt! Skål! Skål! JOKKE har ankommet!
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
It is a miracle! He may not know exactly how or when he's getting here, but like the wanderer and vagabond he is, he will always find a way. MIRACLEMAN has arrived!
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
REVISION OF CONTRACT

Renewal of contract dated April 11, 2008


The AMENDMENT TO ACCEPTANCE OF PROPOSAL between SHORTMEDIA, LLC, A Michigan Limited Liability Corporation, (dba ICRONTIC) and GARGOYLE, an Individual citizen of the State of Ohio is set forth herein.

The following AMENDMENT to ACCEPTANCE OF PROPOSAL regarding attendance to EXPO ICRONTIC 2009 hereby supersedes any and all Agreements, Amendments, Proposals or other Contractual Arrangements prior dated and set forth between the Parties.



ARTICLE 1 - Acceptance

On this date, the 7th of May 2009, it is hereby accepted by ShortMedia LLC, and its agents, that Gargoyle) has declared "I'm gonna" in regards to the original proposal of attendance of the event entitled "Expo Icrontic 2009" (hereby known as EPIC.)

Purchase of ticket via Eventbrite ticket registration system shall be considered sufficient to reserve attendance to The Event by Gargoyle.

ARTICLE 2 - Indemnification

12. GARGOYLE agrees to indemnify and hold harmless ICRONTIC, and its subcontractors, from and against all claims, damages, expenses or liabilities to third parties resulting from ICRONTIC's use or distribution of information, representations, reports or data which has been approved in writing or furnished by GARGOYLE, to the extent that such material is used or distributed by ICRONTIC and such claim or loss is not due to ICRONTIC's gross negligence. ICRONTIC will be similarly indemnified by GARGOYLE against any claims made by third parties arising from claims unrelated to the services provided by ICRONTIC under this Agreement (e.g., frivolous or attached third-party suits.) GARGOYLE must be informed in advance of any claim before legal fees or other costs are incurred, and will have the option to provide a defense to the claim or approve the action that ICRONTIC proposes.

ARTICLE 3 - Force Majeure

13. Except for failure to perform the parties' respective obligations in accordance with Articles 1 and 2, in the event either party is delayed or prevented from performing this Agreement due to any cause beyond its reasonable control, including but not limited to, strike, labor or civil unrest or dispute, embargo, blockade, work stoppage, delay, protest or acts of God, Drunkness due to beers, Getting LUCKY with the Ladies, or rage induced by poor performance in TF2, such delay shall be excused during the continuance of such delay, and the period of performance shall be extended to such extent as may be reasonable to perform after the cause of delay has been removed. In the event any such delay continued for a period of more than thirty (30) days, either party may terminate any Work Authorization under which performance is delayed upon written notice to the other party. In the event of any such termination, GARGOYLE shall pay ICRONTIC for work performed through the effective date of termination.

ARTICLE 4 - Restriction on Employment

14. Throughout the term of this Agreement and for six (6) months after the expiration or termination of the last Event Attendance accepted by GARGOYLE pursuant to it, neither GARGOYLE nor ICRONTIC will, without the prior written consent of the other party, solicit for hire or retention as an independent contractor, a person who, as an employee of the other party, performed work under any Event pursuant to this Agreement. For the purposes of this provision, "solicit" shall not be deemed to include advertisement in newspapers or trade publications, or hiring prostitutes.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
Gather round, young ones. Papa Prime is about to spin a yarn.

Was a time when this ol' site was somethin' we like to call a sausage fest. Oh sure, there was the occasional visit from the fairer sex, but they was few and far between. When groups o' men from the club got together, the room inevitably ended up smellin' o' testosterone and sweat. Oh sure, we had our fun, but there was always somethin' missin' from every gatherin'.

Well, the years went on, as they do, and wouldn't ya know it, we started gettin lady friends visiting our events. Beautiful, strong, confident women, they graced us with their presence. They started visiting with regularity, and becoming part of the gang. What was once a boys' club became a sexy hangout for attractive members o' both sexes.

So it should come as no surprise, then, that another sexy young woman has joined our ranks and will be visiting our fair Expo. Why, with the addition of FLUFF, we may even have enough pretty girls to make a "Ladies of Icrontic" calendar.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
This past year has brought many changes to the scene at Icrontic; lots of new people from various social circles like TF2, World of Warcraft, and Twitter have come by, grabbed a chair, and made this their new online home. The passion they bring to the table is refreshing and our entire community is made better and stronger for having them. What more can these people do? The last step, of course, is to attend a real-life Icrontic event, and that's exactly what CLIFF FORSTER just signed up to do.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
The many adventures of PIGFLIPPER provide endless entertainment, boundless joy, and lots of love from all of us at Icrontic; he's like our collective kid brother.

Noogies!
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
More fresh blood! The UPS and HOBO clan may call him noobikan; but we prefer to call him by his chosen name NEMIKAN.

Welcome to the madhouse!
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
If you've played Left 4 Dead or Team Fortress 2, you know her.

If you've played Left 4 Dead or Team Fortress 2 AGAINST her, you've lost.

If you've played Left 4 Dead or Team Fortress 2 WITH her, you've won.

You know who I'm talking about. The queen of the Blutsauger, SNOWWHITECYANIDE
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
The original, one-and-only ROLLEGGROLL, this time with less TSA inspection, has arrived. NOW the party can get started
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
The dragon invasion continues: Up from the swamps comes the fire-breathing, bone-crunching REDDRAGON
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
The man who never sleeps; the sentinel that keeps the night watch on IRC; CAMBROSE (finally) rolls up to an IC event
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
Don't be intimidated by his knowledge of 3D terminology. Don't be awed at his towering height. Don't marvel at the cleanliness of his shoes. Just understand that when UPSLYNX shows up, it's gonna be good times.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
The best looking member of Clan UPS finally arrives, and makes the others look like chumps. Stand back; UPS KINGPIN is here.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
The sexiest man to ever put on a Batman costume designed for 5 year olds, and the guy who's gonna make this year's LAN gaming run smooth; we may even get to see him in a Speedo. Hier Kommt ][v][AGIC!
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
Yet another first timer to an IC event (unless drinking with Prime, Lincoln, Thrax, and Ryder and going to Icrontic Co-Working and StartupWeekend with us and being in IRC trolling all the time count as IC events), everyone say hello to the hairy mofo WAX.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
Mega Man had Dr. Wily. Cloud had Sephiroth. Luke had Palpatine. John Connor had the Terminator. Simon Belmont had Dracula.

I have PORTZEBIE.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
A spotlight turns on, flooding the dark room. A single microphone drops down from above. The announcer begins:

"In dis cornahhh, we have the one, the only, the Bronx Phenom, the Hebrew Hammah, the man wit da plan, it's KWITKO, ladies and gentlemen.."
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
Scooting in under the wire comes another recruit from the blasted lands of Clan UPS. Meet BANDRIK
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,799 Posts
Oh yeah.

SHARKYDART
__________________ "I offer my genius to the world, all I ask is you pick up my expenses"
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