Best Of

Read nothing. Knew nothing. It ties ESB for me. It was what I wanted and needed.

I think a lot of the criticism comes from adults critiquing a movie that is, while maybe not necessarily "made" for kids, at the very least panders to them heavily. Is that for toy sales? Sure why not, fuck it. Always has been.

When I read these highfalutin "critics" delve into this with headlines like "The Rise of Skywalker is a disastrous conclusion to the trilogy" like, seriously? Get over yourself. "Disastrous" like Star Wars is out there to change the world of cinema.

The Rise of Skywalker was rushed, that's for sure, but how could it not be? This story has already spanned forty years of real time, 90 years of Star Wars time, and three generations of the classic good vs evil trope. You can't fit that much into nine films without asking the audience to heavily suspend disbelief, be willing to fill in a lot of gaps, and just accept that the Star Wars brand is SPECTACLE. It's the sounds. It's the music. It's the comfort food in the form of familiar characters, recurring tropes, and yes, the ever-present Macguffin.

I think it's easy to forget how fucking awesome it is to hear the lightsabers fire up, to hear the clash, to see the flashes, to hear the blasters, the roar of the TIE fighters, the roar of Chewbacca, the blips and beeps of the droids... to see the alien landscapes and awesome creatures that we all know are puppets (and very little effort is made to hide that). If you go into it with the mindset that you want "STAR WARS" to wash over you, and you aren't looking to critique story cohesiveness, character development, or plot sensibilities.... I think you will love The Rise of Skywalker as I did.

The fucking EPIC SCOPE of the super bad guy's ultimate evil lair, I mean holy shit. LANDING HORSES ON A STAR DESTROYER. Palpatine finally bringing back a truly menacing Imperial military. Palpatine's truly incredible evil and the final conclusion of a nine-movie bad guy arc. The epic vehicles, ships, and dogfights (though I'll admit there wasn't enough TIE fighter in this movie for my tastes), and goddamn Kylo Ren's ship is ABSOLUTELY fucking awesome. Kylo's artifact room on his ship was stunning set design, CLASSIC Star Wars with the glossy white panels, white oblong lights, and menacing monotones. His new mask was dope. I fucking loved it all.

The point is, many people are just sort of "used" to Star Wars, but if you go into this with the same eyes you went into the first movies, as a wide-eyed 8-year-old who wants to be a space hero, holy fuck dude. Fuckin' hell. What a goddamn trip.

"Having Harrison Ford show up for a scene, meh... Fan Service at it's worst."

I feel pretty certain that scene was supposed to be Leia, not Han. Given the situation, I think they tagged in Han because a CG Leia just wouldnt have worked for that emotional scene.

"Where the hell was Rose?? I'll tell you, they held her down in this to keep the toxic fans happy. She was the best damn character introduction in the last film. She was the beating heart of that movie, and in this one, it's like, here she is, we will just kind of keep her back here where she won't bother you toxic fanbros. A weak and cowardly treatment of a fantastic character."

That's about the only part of your diatribe I'll 100% agree with you on.

Man can you believe Jar Jar Binks was Rey's dad all along?

Also holy shit can we talk about how Emperor Palpatine had a goddam Raiders of the Lost Ark moment? Homie got his face melted off by his own force lightning. Shit was gnarly as hell.