Icrontic Advice: How to talk to my mom
aspieRommel
Icrontic politicoIndianapolis, IN Icrontian
Hey guys!
I need a little help and I wonder if you guys could help me.
My mother has been telling me about knowing what I want to do with my life and kind of getting on me about "staying up late playing video games".
The thing is, that is partly what I want to do. What I mean is that if, as a job, I went into YouTube (and Twitch) playing video games and such, that would be great. I know it would be hard work to get the subs and such, but if I can be able to be happy with what I do and make money doing it, why not give it a shot?
The problem I have is that I don't know how to tell her. You see, she is one of the older generation and I really don't know if she would understand what I want to do. The other problem is that I don't know how to explain the whole thing to her (how Twitch works, how people make money on Twitch and YouTube, etc.) and be able to get her to understand.
So, can you guys help me figure out what to do? I would greatly appreciate it.
aspieRommel
Comments
I would suggest explaining to her that you are passionate about doing this. Show her that you have a plan and goals. Support with evidence, maybe some examples of others you would strive to be like.
You have an opportunity to create results right now, without her permission or "needing to stay up late". The best thing you can do is not tell her what you're "going" to do... Just do it. If you can start earning revenue by streaming, that will trump any possible argument she could have against it. Show her the money.
The problem is that I am using my uncle's Internet and was wanting to use this as an argument for getting better internet for ourselves, until I move out. Also, I have no internet for my computer, until I get another one, (most likely a stand-up like the ones you guys have).
I think @primesuspect has a valid point if that opportunity exists for you, but for balance, and as a Gen X kid that feels like millennials have been largely let down by a soft friendly society that always tells you what you want to hear vs. the truth....
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mike-rowe-gives-grad-advice_us_57597c03e4b0e39a28acb092
A passion is just that, sometimes it isn't going to pay the bills, and that's okay. You are not a failure if you follow opportunity vs. a dream. I want to play 1st base for the Baltimore Orioles... I can't, I'm passionate about baseball, who knows, maybe one day I'll find a way to pay the bills with that, but for today, that is not my best opportunity, so I fix computers and provide service for a group of people that appreciate what I know about them because that is a paying job.
I think that idea of always follow your passion, stay true to yourself, follow your dreams... It's bad advice delivered by the lucky or by people too chicken to tell you the truth. Is there opportunity in playing video games? How far does it extend to you? Do you have the tool-set and personality to build the audience or get the sponsorship required to earn a living at it? Is it realistic?
So I know this isn't what you want to hear, but what if Mom has a point? What if Mom is just worried that your passion is interfering with you pursuing opportunity? The only way to counter that is to show her that gaming is a genuine opportunity. Is it?
Also consider the fact that what you may think makes a potential money-earning opportunity out of video game streaming does not align at all with the reality of what it takes. You're talking about being an entertainer, which brings with it a whole set of behind-the-screen skill requirements. Are you an excellent marketer? Do you have an extremely compelling on-screen personality? Are you a fantastic social networker with a proven ability to increase audiences and get communities excited about something? There's so much more to it than "play video games, click "stream", earn cash", and I think your mom might be trying to allude to that without truly knowing much about what you're doing.
I know it seems like parents are clueless... and to be frank, they often are... but don't confuse intelligence with wisdom. Parents have wisdom you have not earned, and it is worth keeping that in mind.
Sometimes our passions have to take a backseat to reality for a time. You, @aspieRommel are a prime example of this at the moment. It's a good thing because the benefits will out weigh the stinging truth. You have a few caveats to your desire to start streaming games as a source of income. One being the lack of internet capable of streaming. Second being a computer capable of sending out a high quality stream while playing games. So my suggestion would be to keep playing games in your spare time, but find another source of income in the mean time so you can afford the things to have a successful stream. The benefit being that you can learn a trade or skill to fall back on if you find your endeavors in Twitch stardom lacking. You can do anything you put you mind to, but you have to be willing to sacrifice for a while to set yourself up for success. The world has enough people half-assing things. Better not to add to the pool.
Cosign. Source: 4 jobs and a failed startup in 5 years before landing somewhere I liked. Sometimes you need to go with the flow, and sometimes you gotta swim against the current. There's no guide on which to do when. There's a false urgency when you're starting to get it exactly right the first try. The only urgency is to be pointed in the right direction.
From there, explore.
I think the truth lies somewhere in the middle. Oversimplifying that ideal into 1-liner fairy tales is idiotic. But so is sullenly taking a job in the coal mine because that's the only work. Both extremes are movie plots, not the fuzziness of real life.
For me, the greatest injury is not advising folks that they should follow their dreams, but rather the notion that your happiness hinges on getting to do the thing you set out to do. Attachment is a real bummer, man.
Put legs under your dream dude, I hate to be blunt but that's the dark and filthy of it. Find a better job, I'd recommend FedEx Ground or Gieco (their customer service dpt.) as they start at $11.50 and $16/hr respectively, quit your current job once a new one is acquired (but give two weeks, trust me on this one). Once you are working at a place with decent pay and no cocaine in the parking lot proceed to get your savings up and move ze fork out.Once out get your shit in order, make sure your basics can be handled on a reliable basis, THEN get internet (which for what you need will be $70-$100/month btw) after that start making vids on your days off. Is that a long time, yes. Will it suck massive gorilla balls, most definitely, the biggest and sweatiest there are. That's life though, you fight or you give the fuck up. You'll strive you'll suffer, succeed and fail, want to cry at times, but that's why God gave us booze so man the fuck up. Again, hate to be blunt but it's a realization I have had to make myself so better you get it unfiltered.
Oh and one more point, I know there is a general frown on religion on this site but he asked for advice and I'm giving it, no offense of any kind meant and take this down if you wish. Draw yourself close to God, put your faith and trust in Him. The closer we are to God the more He blesses us, so mix your toil with prayer and study, one Christian to another that's also my advice.
Almost every money-making streamer you see also currently has, or once heavily relied on, a day job. You may not like the tone of mom's wisdom, but you're trying to jump into the ocean when you're not set to swim.
You need income to get the gaming PC. To get your own internet. To have your own place and space to do streaming.
I sincerely hope our advice doesn't dissuade you from trying to stream. You'll find that the best suggestions are often not the ones you wanted to hear. I would be weary of anyone who is presenting the attitude of "forget your mom. do what you want to do".
Every streamer and self-employed online personality I know took an average of 3 years of back-breaking dedication to their craft before they were able to earn even modest income. That's working a full-time job and then coming home and dedicating 6-8 more hours a day to doing what they love, every day. Are you willing to commit to this? Otherwise, don't waste your time.
In either case, the previous posters are right. You've gotta lay a firm financial foundation before you do anything. What sort of higher-paying job are you willing to do? Will you work 40-60-80hrs a week to get to where you need to be? I dunno your level of education or qualifications but there are jobs out there that'll pay the bills if you're willing to do them.
I test video games for a living
It's not dissuading me at all. The thing is, and I probably didn't word it the right way, I am at a point where I am just absolutely sick of my $8/hr job and it's gotten to the point where it is mentally and emotionally draining on me. (I literally will be at my job and ask myself "Who did I piss off to get this job?".)I am just wanting to do something that I can enjoy, and if I make money doing it, great! That's why I'm trying to get a job at GameStop. That's why I'm trying to get a job at Barnes & Noble. I want to work somewhere that I know I can put my all into and be able to have fun doing it, or at least enjoy it.
Call me a cynic, but I'd say it's pretty tough to find a job you enjoy doing. Some people have it, and I think they're very lucky. I think it's good to find a job that you don't actively hate. Neutral is okay, too.
If you want to be self-employed as a streamer in the long run, you probably need to be looking for something that's not another $8/hr job.
I think adapting a mentality similar to this is advantageous. Work sucks. Learn to tolerate work so you can enjoy everything else.
Also, keep in mind, nobody is saying not to defend your passion as having some value. Gaming can be a great outlet, it can also lead to opportunity. So you can tell your mom it leads to friendships and even some networking, but at the same time try to respect that she just doesn't want you to box yourself in and miss other important opportunity. All things in moderation, don't let a dream narrow your scope to a point where you are missing out on genuine chances to learn and grow. I kinda have a feeling that's what Mom is probably trying to say maybe in a more direct less elegant Mom kinda way.
As a parent that's what you really want from your kid is that feeling of respect and understanding that we only want the best for you. Sometimes that's a difficult to convey when what you really want to do is wrap your kid up in a big hug and let them know what they want is so important and that all their dreams should come true, but.... that's not always how it works and that's not to say that passion isn't important, but it has to have some guidance, some direction, some understanding of where that might lead you. So being skeptical that playing video games can earn a living is understandable. Now, how do you sharpen your tools so that you might earn a living in a gaming related field? There are some Icrontic members that have done that either in hardware marketing or software marketing or various aspects of programming, so you can broaden you scope of knowledge so fit in other fields that might eventually lead to you making money around something you love. So defend your passion but at the same time try to have a reasonable conversation about direction, what you might need to learn, how it can take you places and eventually be successful. That's all Mom really wants is for you to value your education, to make greater opportunity for yourself. To see you do well rather than be let down by something that seems unobtainable to her.
On the other hand, I need to get away from my folks too soooo....
Will PM details...