Folding...

entropy

Right, so...one day on vacation I started to write a poem in my head. Now, any piece of writing I can write like a bat-out-of-hell...except poetry. So I gave it a shot anyhow. Free-versed it because anything I try to rhyme sounds hokey. This is not the original, but I modified it to accomodate Folding. I dunno...I don't much like it, but thought I'd share it anyhow...

The world is a scar; everywhere, always
Every hour they fade away
Millions unknowns born to suffer
In our forests of steel, the fast lane seems slow
Increasing distractions forever keeping
Us from peering through the haze of
Ourselves, possessions, distance
We see; but turn away
We hear; but tune out
We know; but don’t acknowledge
We realize…but don’t care…
Get Rich Quick while others die slow
Disease runs rampant throughout
While our technology idles, waiting to obey
What if we do acknowledge?
Our wealth put to a cause
...Folding for a cause
Machines continue working
Always obedient; but never waiting
Continually…curing

Fold on friends, Fold on.


-e

dragonV8

Well thought of lines, you put together.

Very nicely done.

entropy

Blech. Any criticism would be much appreciated, as I do like poetry, just that I'm not too great at it...

Enisada

I like it, folding making its way into poetry. Who would have thought. I can't make any suggestions I just flat out like it.

Donut

Very nice, I like it also.

Good Work!

entropy

Thanks guys I don't care for it much ... I'm not the most creative when it comes to poetry. The one that is based off in fact, is the first poem I've ever voluntarily written...