Verizon settles "Unlimited" suit
Thrax
🐌Austin, TX Icrontian
"That all depends on what the definition of 'Is' is."
And so began the age of inane semantics, where high-profile institutions insist on inventing their own definitions or colloquial understandings for various words and phrases. Broadband ISPs footnoting their speeds with <font style="font-size:.2em">* Up to!</font>, Comcast attempting to redefine "Block" and Verizon terminating users from downloading large amounts of data on their "Unlimited" EVDO connection.
First, let us establish the obvious:
<b><font size=3>un·lim·it·ed</font></b> - [uhn-lim-i-tid]
<i>-adjective</i>
1. not limited; unrestricted; unconfined: unlimited trade.
2. boundless; infinite; vast: the unlimited skies.
And in an utter implosion of logic from the Verizon dictionary:
3. Only when it's webpages and emails! These are unlimited, but other things are limited, but this is an unlimited service. Really. Unlimited.
And so, hinged on number three, Verizon axed users who understood the more traditional definition of "Unlimited." Those users, peeved at Verizon's obtuse and peculiar grasp on the English language banded together to sue Verizon.
As a result of this suit, Verizon has offered one MILLION dollars to be distributed amongst those individuals who were of conventional thought process. As a result, they should all receive about $00.23 USD.
In other news, Verizon accountants spin a few Benjamins off the roll in the bathroom to cover the cost.
And so began the age of inane semantics, where high-profile institutions insist on inventing their own definitions or colloquial understandings for various words and phrases. Broadband ISPs footnoting their speeds with <font style="font-size:.2em">* Up to!</font>, Comcast attempting to redefine "Block" and Verizon terminating users from downloading large amounts of data on their "Unlimited" EVDO connection.
First, let us establish the obvious:
<b><font size=3>un·lim·it·ed</font></b> - [uhn-lim-i-tid]
<i>-adjective</i>
1. not limited; unrestricted; unconfined: unlimited trade.
2. boundless; infinite; vast: the unlimited skies.
And in an utter implosion of logic from the Verizon dictionary:
3. Only when it's webpages and emails! These are unlimited, but other things are limited, but this is an unlimited service. Really. Unlimited.
And so, hinged on number three, Verizon axed users who understood the more traditional definition of "Unlimited." Those users, peeved at Verizon's obtuse and peculiar grasp on the English language banded together to sue Verizon.
As a result of this suit, Verizon has offered one MILLION dollars to be distributed amongst those individuals who were of conventional thought process. As a result, they should all receive about $00.23 USD.
In other news, Verizon accountants spin a few Benjamins off the roll in the bathroom to cover the cost.
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