There's a shareware version that only works for 30 days, but it will work for what you need. Simply input the IP and it will do a visual TraceRoute to the the approximate location of where the individual is located.
The way to get someones IP address through instant messaging (e.x. aim) is to get a direct connection to them. You then would do a netstat -n in dos, or something similar, ect. To show all your connections to other computers. Otherwise you would just be getting the ip address of the AOL server.
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http://visualroute.visualware.com/
There's a shareware version that only works for 30 days, but it will work for what you need. Simply input the IP and it will do a visual TraceRoute to the the approximate location of where the individual is located.