How Do You Deal With A Chronic Alcoholic?
MrTRiot
Northern Ontario Icrontian
I've known my friend for almost 6 years now. He used to smoke the green stuff casually but now he's turned to alcohol. He regularly drinks 2 60oz'ers in a weekend and causes shit like most drunks. When that gets out of hand, he usually leaves with a few bruises....
This weekend was different though. My finance and I went over to his place, had 4 shots each in 3 hours and we ended up leaving because buddy tried to pull a switchblade on us, then tried to pull a b-bee rifle. Needless to say it didn't work....
I am just wondering. Petitioning to a forum full of hidden drunks. Can this relationship be redeemed? We originally stop talking because I knocked 3 of his wisdom teeth out because of him being a violent drunk, and started talking almost a year later. Yet it's the same old shit...Is it worth it?
Is there a point in me trying to be civil? or should I cut all ties like I did before?
This weekend was different though. My finance and I went over to his place, had 4 shots each in 3 hours and we ended up leaving because buddy tried to pull a switchblade on us, then tried to pull a b-bee rifle. Needless to say it didn't work....
I am just wondering. Petitioning to a forum full of hidden drunks. Can this relationship be redeemed? We originally stop talking because I knocked 3 of his wisdom teeth out because of him being a violent drunk, and started talking almost a year later. Yet it's the same old shit...Is it worth it?
Is there a point in me trying to be civil? or should I cut all ties like I did before?
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Comments
like I've said before. He never used to be like this...it's the alcohol that's got to him....
is he worth saving or should I count my blessing that I didn't do more?
You can't save an alcoholic
Family blood is not enough. Love is not enough. The only person who can save an alcoholic is themselves.
You cannot fix this; you will only get hurt in the end. If this dude is pulling weapons, you need to gtfo immediately. Nothing good will come of this. Perhaps when he wakes up in a hospital, or in jail, and realizes he's lost everything, maybe that'll be the kick in the ass he needs. There's nothing you can do about it.
Thanks...that's all I needed to know
I wish everyone on IRC had the same reasoning as you do.....
AA is just a bunch of religious crap....
Ever wondered what the 12 steps REALLY are?
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
but ya....I'm done with it. It's time for me to move on and say "It's not my problem"
AA only works if you want it to work.
I have to say to anybody who thinks they may have a problem with alcohol. Do not take any notice of rubbish like the above. Seek the help of people who actually know and understand the illness of alcoholism, and there are many. There are unfortunately many others who may well have been damaged by alcoholism who may never had even had a drink themselves, their view of the illness does not represent the facts. Alcoholism is not a game, it kills thousands each year, saying there is no such thing is dangerous.
It's the only way it works. But it does work because AA is by alcoholics for alcoholics. Only an alcoholic understands another alcoholic.
I understand your view point, but I'm calling shens on this.
I'd have to throw my support behind AA. I have a coworker that was a severe alcoholic and it turned her life around. Of course, she was ready to make a change. She's been sober for 7 years now. She also attends weekly meetings.
Anyone that says alcoholism isn't real, I used to think the same way, needs to see an alcoholic dry out. It is an addiction and it isn't pretty. I don't subscribe to the belief that it is hereditary. I look at it like cigarettes, if you smoke enough of them often enough, you will become addicted.
You can say that people turn to alcohol to escape from other life problems, but sooner or later, the other problems will cease to be an issue and the consumption of alcohol will become the priority.
My humble 2c .
On a positive note, another of brothers has been sober for about 3 years now. He is still a "recovering alcoholic".
Alcoholism is real. Believe it!
Into reahb now or I will never talk to you again, period.
It isn't worth putting yourself at risk.
bu tif he has the balls to face his issues and seek help to tackle them then you really need to stand with him. He will need you.
I never said it wasn't addictive, or difficult to stop. My point is it's totally self perpetuating. I tend to think the addiction is a symptom. All the programs designed to help are a good thing, but the power relies in the person to stop. By all means help them find a path to recovery, but they have to want it.
Good technical discussion.
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