[BLOG] the end is the beginning is the end
the end
This month marks what would have been the 10th anniversary of my wedding. After the divorce three years ago, I fell into a semi-don't-care attitude. I built walls around my heart to protect myself from ever being hurt again. I went out with friends, listened to local live bands and spent many nights very intoxicated. I also became very depressed.
But, I had a savior in an online community called Icrontic. I participated more on the forums, even wrote some articles for the first life.icrontic, and attended my first Icrontic LAN in 2007. I also played softball and volleyball with local leagues. I felt I was taking the blow of the divorce well, and moving on. But, what I did not realize is I had become a very closed person. None of my new friends really knew me, and I had burnt the bridge to many of my old friends.
the beginning
A little over a year ago I put in for some work transfers to the Warren, MI area. I felt it was time to get out of Missouri and attempt to start fresh. I had many great new friends in the area, and had even setup a place to live.
But with all good things, sometimes they just pass you by. My workplace is hurting finacially, and soon after I put in the transfers, they put locks on them and started offering early retirement options. I was locked out of transferring for now.
About this time some unfinished business came up from things not taken care of during the divorce. Namely, finacial issues. Getting a phone call from the ex-wife is always a stressful conversation, but this time it was compounded with the fact I was in Warren.
Money needed to be sent fast, and I had no possible way to do it. I called my Dad. He took care of it, but at the cost of saying, "When are you planning to be responsible? When are you going to grow up? When am I going to stop saving your butt?" That was June of 2008, the last time I spoke to my dad until a few days ago.
the end
A few months ago I decided to weigh myself. Lets just say I had gotten fat. I was pretty close to rock bottom emotionally. I spent a few days feeling sorry for myself. I had fallen so far off the tracks of everything I believed to be good.
Then some unique and inspiring things happened behind some doors within Icrontic. First off, I was being challenged. Something I had always been drawn too in my younger years. It was like someone had found the coin I used for a wish in a fountain, and decided to flip it over for me.
I started working out. I started a diet. I started to care about me. Not only was I talking the talk, but I was keeping the promises I made. I'm not one to fix what is not broken, but I was broke. I finally snapped out of my funk, and got my life back on track.
I am putting in work transfers again. I am hell-bent on getting out of Missouri. I have a general idea of the location I want to live in, but where exactly does not matter. I am about to start a 12 week program on building muscle mass in my upper body. I am going to enjoy something everyday that I am alive now, no matter how small. I am going to tear down the walls I've built and just maybe, find love again.
I'm reinventing me.
This month marks what would have been the 10th anniversary of my wedding. After the divorce three years ago, I fell into a semi-don't-care attitude. I built walls around my heart to protect myself from ever being hurt again. I went out with friends, listened to local live bands and spent many nights very intoxicated. I also became very depressed.
But, I had a savior in an online community called Icrontic. I participated more on the forums, even wrote some articles for the first life.icrontic, and attended my first Icrontic LAN in 2007. I also played softball and volleyball with local leagues. I felt I was taking the blow of the divorce well, and moving on. But, what I did not realize is I had become a very closed person. None of my new friends really knew me, and I had burnt the bridge to many of my old friends.
the beginning
A little over a year ago I put in for some work transfers to the Warren, MI area. I felt it was time to get out of Missouri and attempt to start fresh. I had many great new friends in the area, and had even setup a place to live.
But with all good things, sometimes they just pass you by. My workplace is hurting finacially, and soon after I put in the transfers, they put locks on them and started offering early retirement options. I was locked out of transferring for now.
About this time some unfinished business came up from things not taken care of during the divorce. Namely, finacial issues. Getting a phone call from the ex-wife is always a stressful conversation, but this time it was compounded with the fact I was in Warren.
Money needed to be sent fast, and I had no possible way to do it. I called my Dad. He took care of it, but at the cost of saying, "When are you planning to be responsible? When are you going to grow up? When am I going to stop saving your butt?" That was June of 2008, the last time I spoke to my dad until a few days ago.
the end
A few months ago I decided to weigh myself. Lets just say I had gotten fat. I was pretty close to rock bottom emotionally. I spent a few days feeling sorry for myself. I had fallen so far off the tracks of everything I believed to be good.
Then some unique and inspiring things happened behind some doors within Icrontic. First off, I was being challenged. Something I had always been drawn too in my younger years. It was like someone had found the coin I used for a wish in a fountain, and decided to flip it over for me.
I started working out. I started a diet. I started to care about me. Not only was I talking the talk, but I was keeping the promises I made. I'm not one to fix what is not broken, but I was broke. I finally snapped out of my funk, and got my life back on track.
I am putting in work transfers again. I am hell-bent on getting out of Missouri. I have a general idea of the location I want to live in, but where exactly does not matter. I am about to start a 12 week program on building muscle mass in my upper body. I am going to enjoy something everyday that I am alive now, no matter how small. I am going to tear down the walls I've built and just maybe, find love again.
I'm reinventing me.
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Comments
You said it yourself - I am going to enjoy something everyday that I am alive now, no matter how small - can't ask for much more than that.
cheers bud
I get pumped up reading about this man. You're determined, I know that you'll make it.
A new environment, a fresh perspective. We could all use a little of it, and you're well over do.
Keep at it.