Guppy's Grievous Gripefest



  • GuppyGuppy Warren, MI Icrontian

    I probably should have updated this sooner.

    Bioshock 2 - 6/10
    Sam & Max Season 3 - 8/10
    Postal 2 - 8/10
    Limbo - 5/10

    I might write reviews for these later. I just wanted to update this now.

  • GuppyGuppy Warren, MI Icrontian
    edited March 2015

    Half-Life 2: Episode 2 - 7/10
    I finally understand why people are so upset about no episode 3. I don't really care though. I'm just not that into HL2.

    Sims 3 - ?/10
    I basically just watched a guy do things for 9 hours. I had some input on what he did, but it was mostly watching him go to work, eat and sleep. I played an hour with a household of 3 sims and it was a little more interesting, but still not worth it.
    I'm not going to give this one a rating, because I think I was playing it wrong. I've heard a lot of praise for this game, but it's not my thing.

  • GuppyGuppy Warren, MI Icrontian

    I'm done with Left 4 Dead and Left 4 Dead 2.

    Another series that doesn't really need a review since I'm sure many are familiar with it.

  • GuppyGuppy Warren, MI Icrontian

    Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood - 6/10
    Nothing really special here, a typical linear run-and-gun. The only difference is the setting. This game is the second in the series and a prequel to the first game.

    The story was decent enough. It starts with a flashback to the two main protagonists in the Civil War. They desert their post and go back home to save it from Union troops. Things aren't good there, and since they're now deserters they head to Mexico to find a legendary treasure with which to rebuild their home. They team up with a notorious criminal that knows how to get it, and will give them a cut if they help him. Then there's some murder, some betrayal, and all that good stuff.

    The gameplay was okay at best. At the beginning of a stage, you choose one of the two brothers to play as, Thomas or Ray. Thomas is more agile, Ray is stronger. Thomas uses throwing knives, can shoot enemies further away, and use a rope to get to high places. Ray can dual-wield, use a shotgun, and use dynamite. In one of the opening levels, the player is taught that Thomas can sneak around and use knives to take out enemies silently. That's the only time I used it. It's worthless after that.

    The combat is fairly straight-forward. You shoot, take cover, then shoot some more. The cover system in this game was really awkward. Go up to a wall(or barrel, or box, etc.) and then move the mouse to look out or go back into cover. I tried to avoid using it. After killing enough enemies you can use concentration mode. Concentration mode stops time and allows you to target and quickly take out a group of enemies on the screen. It's useful, but I found it was rarely as helpful as I wanted.

    One of the worst parts about this game was the showdowns. Showdowns sound awesome, right? They weren't. Keep your enemy in view, by walking left or right, and keep moving your hand back towards your holster. Once a bell rings, draw, wait for the reticle to move up to your opponent and fire. It gets infuriating after a few times.

    Tales of Monkey Island: Chapter 4+5 - 7/10
    The last two chapters of the Tales of Monkey Island series were pretty good, like the first three. They don't quite match up to the previous Monkey Island games in terms of humor, but it still got a few chuckles out of me. The puzzles were also fairly simple and shouldn't give anyone much trouble.

  • GuppyGuppy Warren, MI Icrontian

    I finished Dust: An Elysian Tail, started to write a review of it, and then I realized it's not on my list, so I finished up Half-Life:Blue Shift.

    I started this game a few years back on the Dreamcast, but never got too far.

    Blue Shift is an expansion to the original HL that follows Barney Calhoun. If you've played HL1, you can probably guess what goes on in it. It's kind of like Half-Life light. The game is about three hours long, and there's not a whole lot of content.

    I wouldn't really recommend it. It's not bad, just kind of average.


  • GuppyGuppy Warren, MI Icrontian

    Has it been a year already?

    I haven't made much progress because every time I look through my games list I don't want to play anything. I've just been kind of burnt out on video games. I did manage to finish a couple though.

    Half-Life 2:Lost Coast
    Not much of a game. It's basically a Half-Life 2 tech demo. I finished it in about 20 minutes.

    Hotline Miami
    I tried playing this a couple years ago, but never got very far. I couldn't grasp the mechanics and the game just made me feel really uneasy, so I dropped it. I came back to it last month and played it through from the beginning. I actually sort of liked it this time around, even if the story wasn't great.

    I made some progress in other games, but got stuck after they really ramped up in difficulty. Cogs and RUSH are both puzzle games that get really tough towards the end. I'll get back to them when I feel more masochistic.

    I'm taking a few games off the list because I either finished them or played them long enough before I bought them on Steam.
    Counter-Strike(I'm positive I've got 50+ hours clocked in on this)
    Counter-Strike:Source(same as above)
    Crazy Taxi(Played the hell out of it on the Dreamcast)
    Jet Set Radio(Finished it on Dreamcast, and finished the extra content in the re-release)
    The Secret of Monkey Island(Played the original version a few years ago)

  • GuppyGuppy Warren, MI Icrontian

    Finished Dead Island a few days ago. I bought this game at launch(September 2011), and put some time into it then, but only came back to it recently.

    Dead Island is of like an open-world L4D. Even though it feels kind of similar, it does enough different to make it its own game.

    The story isn't exactly deep or compelling, but I guess you don't really need that for this type of game. The game takes place on an island(go figure) where a zombie outbreak occurs. You play as one of four protagonists, trying to make your way across the island to an offshore prison where someone can help. On the way, you'll help other survivors by doing various quests, or by fighting off hordes that have them trapped. For quests, there are three types: storyline, sidequest, and continuous. Storyline is obvious, sidequests give you weapons, weapon mods, or cash, continuous quests give you cash, or an item. Continuous quests are fetch quests("Bring me 5 batteries"), and really aren't all that rewarding.

    Every time you gain a level, you get one point to upgrade your character. I upgraded lockpicking as soon as I could because the best weapons are in locked metal chests, and lockpicking is the only way to open them.

    The combat in the game is pretty decent. Each character has a different weapon specialty(blunt, sharp, firearms, projectiles), so you're probably going to play differently based on your character choice. I went with sharp weapons so I'd be able to cut off limbs.

    Weapons have to be repaired with use, otherwise they become useless. You use workbenches to repair weapons as well as upgrading and modding them. Modding weapons requires you to first get the mod blueprint. After that, you need certain items, and (I think) some cash. Having an electrified knife, or flaming bat is neat, and has a chance of inflicting status effects on enemies.
    With every kill you build your rage meter. When it's full, you get a short special attack. I found it pretty useless, so I didn't put many skill points into it. Enemies have levels, and they increase as the player's level increases. I was surprised when I went back to the starting area and found level 1 enemies were now level 30, and special enemies started showing up.

    When you die, you respawn in the area a few seconds later, but lose some money. It's usually not too hard to avoid death, since health items are scattered around like crazy.

    The enemies in the game are standard zombies(walkers), fast zombies(infected), humans(bandits, police), and a few special enemies. The special enemies aren't too difficult, but add some nice variety. The one that shows up the most is probably the Thug. It's slow, but will do a lot of damage and knock you down if you're too close while it's attacking. The most annoying is the Suicider. It explodes if you get too close. They're slow, but they're placed in such a way that you have a good chance of running right into them.

    I can't really complain about the sound. Music seemed fine, and character voices weren't bad. It does the Elder Scrolls thing though, where getting near a character triggers dialogue. It gets kind of annoying when NPCs keep asking if you've finished the quest they gave you, or ask for an item after you just gave them 10.

    The multiplayer works pretty well, but the group I played with kept skipping dialogue and cutscenes, so I went back to soloing the game. The game never felt difficult enough that I needed help, but multiplayer might increase difficulty.

    I ran into quite a few bugs in this game, like having my equipped weapon switch to alcohol when I picked up a bottle. I'd try to fight off swarm of infected, but end up getting drunk instead. I had a few crashes(game minimizes, won't restore), but the game autosaves, so I never lost too much progress. There were plenty of graphics and physics bugs, they weren't too bad though. I had several enemies phase through doors or walls, and one just fell out of world. I thought about recording some gameplay, but never did.

    Items glow when you can pick them up.

    Nice blood texture.

    Have you ever facepalmed this hard?

    Crafted molotovs, and found them floating when I left the workbench menu.

    Overall, the game wasn't bad. I'm not a fan of zombies, but still got some enjoyment out of this game. While the story is weak, and the most of the quests are tedious, it might be worth a look if you want a casual, first-person, zombie game. 7/10

  • GuppyGuppy Warren, MI Icrontian

    I can check another one off the list. I finally finished Fallout 3.

    When I first bought this game, I played it for 7 hours straight(with a quick break when my system locked up on me). I thought the game was amazing, but I got busy with other games and it took me a while to come back to it.

    I think enough people know about this game that it isn't worth writing a full review about. I'll just say that I enjoyed it. Sure there are plenty of bugs, but it's a Bethesda game, so it's to be expected. None of them were game-breaking though.

    I do have some complaints, but it's mostly personal things. The game has the whole 50's motif going, and I couldn't get into that. The music on Galaxy News Radio sucked, but I would turn it on to hear Three Dog. The final boss was a real disappointment. Crafting was useless. Maybe I just didn't have enough schematics, but I don't think I crafted a single item while playing. There were so many NPCs, quests, and bits of lore I found it hard to care about. I hated dealing with Moira. Those stupid quests and that voice of hers drove me up a wall. Still I found the game enjoyable, and I'd come back to it, because I'm sure there's a lot I didn't see.


  • GuppyGuppy Warren, MI Icrontian

    Done with Scribblenauts:Unlimited. It's a fun game, but not really a challenge. There were a couple times I had trouble figuring out what to do, but the most challenging part was coming up with a solution other than the obvious. A knight needs a weapon? A sword is kind of boring. How about a fish? Yeah, that'll work.

    The game consists of going to different places and helping people with their problems so you can collect Starites. You do this by creating objects and/or adding adjectives to objects. To do this, you use your notebook and just type whatever it is you want to create. There are limits, but the games dictionary is big enough that it's not really an issue.

    To finish the game, I only needed 60/106 Starites. There's still plenty of game left, but I got the ending so I'm calling it

    I really don't know what else to say about this game. It's a fun game to waste some time with, while being creative and silly.


  • GuppyGuppy Warren, MI Icrontian

    I've got three more I can take off my list.

    Fallout: New Vegas
    I had a few people tell me to skip Fallout 3 and just play New Vegas, and now I see why. The setting was so much better, the NPCs and most of the quests were more interesting, and it didn't feel like a repeat of the previous game. Also the western theme was so much better than the generic post-apocalyptic 50s theme that 3 had.

    My main gripe with the game is that it felt too short. I played for over 35 hours, but after I finished I felt a little underwhelmed. I feel like the main story needed more to it. I know these games are more about world exploration, but it still bothered me. Also, the feeling of exploration was ruined a bit by all the invisible walls. They were all over.

    I still had a great time with this one, and would probably go through it a second time, if I didn't have so many other games to get to.


    Kane and Lynch: Dead Men
    Not much to say about this one. It's a pretty standard third-person shooter. Get behind cover, shoot, get back into cover, wait for the jelly to leave the screen, then shoot some more. The combat works well enough, but the story is kind of a mess.

    You play as Kane, a mercenary sent to prison and about to be executed. His former employers break him out and tell him to bring back their property. So there's a bank heist level. The stuff's not there, so you go to a club in Tokyo. I was really excited for this level, but it was a total let-down. Then some more stuff happens, and you end up going after your employers. Sounds cool, but I couldn't get invested.

    You have other characters with you for most of the game, and you get some control over them. You can tell them where to go, what target to attack, and switch their weapons. One interesting thing about the game was the near-death state. If you go down, one of your teammates can give you an adrenaline shot, and you'll get back up. If you get another adrenaline shot too soon, you overdose and die.

    I didn't expect much going into this, so I wasn't too disappointed. I heard the sequel is better, but I'm still not expecting much.


    Sonic the Hedgehog 4 Episode 1
    If this were a fan game, I'd give it a pass. This one's pretty bad.

    The game is four main zones, with a fifth final boss zone, and the special zones. Once you play a stage you can go back to it at any time from the stage select. I don't know why anyone would want to though.

    The whole game feels like a cheap rip-off of previous games. You've got Splash Hill (Green Hill Zone), Lost Labyrinth (Labyrinth Zone), Casino Street (Casino Zone), and Mad Gear (Metropolis Zone). Lost Labyrinth played a bit differently though. You light torches as you run through (some opening the path ahead), and there's a minecart section. It wasn't great, but I applaud them for trying something different.

    The music was mediocre at best. Not a memorable track on the list. The art style was decent,but I wasn't a big fan. At least the controls were good.


  • GuppyGuppy Warren, MI Icrontian

    I wasn't really into it, but it wasn't bad. I don't have much to say about it. 7/10.

    Dark Souls: Prepare to Die Edition
    I tried Dark Souls a couple of times, but always lost interest real quick. Then I saw the SBFP playthrough, and realized how to actually play the game. I ended up having a good time with the game, but it wasn't all great. I put 70+ hours in, with a lot of grinding and really learning the controls. I made it to that pain-in-the-ass plant boss then my save data got corrupted after a power outage. Nothing I encountered in-game ever caused that level of grief. I randomly started a new game, probably a month later. I breezed through the early areas and just kept playing. Ornstein and Smough weren't as difficult as I was led to believe. Blighttown wasn't too bad either. It was a very frustrating game, but, for some reason, I wanted to keep going. After I finished the game, I immediately started over. Although that was mostly because of what gets unlocked. 9/10

    Duke Nukem Forever
    I didn't grow up with DN3D, so I don't have a strong attachment to the series. I think the first Duke game I played was Time to Kill on PS1. That said, it just felt like a very bland game. I didn't hate it, but there wasn't anything particularly good about it. Really, anything I could say about the game, you've probably heard way too many times already. I bought this on Steam probably because it was dirt-cheap at some point, and I figured "It's probably not that bad." I remember the day it came out, I didn't care about it, and instead was all stoked to play Alice: Madness Returns. I definitely made the right call that day. 4/10

    Faerie Solitaire
    I got this because it came with a TF2 pin. I had little to no interest in it, but I eventually gave it a shot. It's good for what it is, I guess. You draw a card, and play off of it. So if you draw a 4, and you have a 5 or a 3 out, you can clear that card from the board, and try to continue the combo. You can continue either way(1-2-3-4/1-A-1-2). It seems like a really simple game, but the additional challenges(15x combo, clear all cards - Perfect, finish in X:XX minutes) get progressively more difficult. You need to finish the challenges within five rounds to finish the area and progress the story. I got a little heated trying to get a few of the objctives, but most of the weren't too bad. I got some enjoyment out of it, even though it's not totally my thing. 7/10

    Hell Yeah!
    I loved this game. The gameplay was good, but I just really liked the style of it. It felt kind of short though. 8/10

    I started playing Mass Effect, but I'm just really bored with it, and I'm almost dreading playing more of it. I also started playing Painkiller again. That game is sick.

    Sorry for not writing full reviews, but that takes effort I can't be bothered to expend right now.

  • primesuspectprimesuspect Beepin n' Boopin Detroit, MI Icrontian

    Good to see you @Guppy

  • GuppyGuppy Warren, MI Icrontian

    Mass Effect

    Talk about a snoozefest.  I was so bored for the majority of my playthrough.  This is another game I'm not really going to be fair to because I don't have the patience for it.

    If there's one memorable part of the game, it's the dialogue. The intimidation perk was a lot of fun. Completely overreacting to a situation by doing something like pulling a gun on someone or just decking them was great. The combat seemed like typical cover-shooter fare.  Shoot, hide, use a combat ability, repeat.  It's repetitive, but it worked, so I can't complain too much.  I love the idea of being able to explore planet's surfaces, but when there are only three or four points of interest, it becomes kind of a chore.

    The only companion character I cared about was Wrex.  His backstory, and the whole plight of the Krogans thing was interesting.  Tali was alright, although I just brought her along to hack stuff. I never used Garrus. I kind of wanted to know what blue girl's deal was only because there's so of her, but I don't think I used her once. I didn't care too much about Human 1 and Human 2.

    After getting through the intro sections, I started to see a lot of Star Control influence in this game. The system map was what really tipped me off. The few glitches I encountered were entertaining.

    I've heard that choices made have an effect in the second game, but I'm not interested enough to actually play the second game.

    Putting personal dislike aside, I give Mass Effect a 7/10. It's a fairly-solid game if you've got the patience and like sci-fi space stuff.

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