Anti-bullying clothing line

primesuspect

Cool story about a kid who got bullied turning the experience into a positive one: He started an Anti-bullying t-shirt brand.

Creeperbane2

Epic, but I always followed the Roosevelt school of bullying prevention: "Walk tall and carry a big stick."

Thrax

So, we should not shove these t-shirts into out lockers?

BuddyJ

Yo bro don't bully me cuz I gots this swaggy shirt! #yolo #kickme

I read the brand name as Mein Finity.

ardichoke

Creeperbane2 said:

Epic, but I always followed the Roosevelt school of bullying prevention: "Walk tall and carry a big stick."

Well first off, you have your Roosevelt quote wrong. It's "speak softly and carry a big stick."

Secondly, the problem with bullies, in my personal experience anyway, is that they usually carry the biggest stick. Namely, they're usually the jocks and meatheads who are capable of kicking your ass twelve ways from Sunday. You don't fight bullies by being a bully.

Cliff_Forster

Every school aged child should see "42". That kind of bullying was the worst kind. What it shows you, is standing up for yourself is not about fighting back as much as it's about not backing down.

Basil

Why not just get 'kick me hard' embroidered on a shirt and have done with it?

Canti

Because you could get a 'kick me HARDER' shirt.

MAGIC

ardichoke said:

Creeperbane2 said:

Epic, but I always followed the Roosevelt school of bullying prevention: "Walk tall and carry a big stick."

Well first off, you have your Roosevelt quote wrong. It's "speak softly and carry a big stick."

Secondly, the problem with bullies, in my personal experience anyway, is that they usually carry the biggest stick. Namely, they're usually the jocks and meatheads who are capable of kicking your ass twelve ways from Sunday. You don't fight bullies by being a bully.

I fought bullies by standing up to them. Worked. I wasn't the biggest, and got my ass beat a few times. But when bullies know you aren't a victim that will just roll over, they'll go after the softer targets.

PirateNinja

Here is what 99% of picked on kids don't want to do the day after being bullied : go to school wearing a shirt that says nerd on it.
Is it terribly pessimistic of me for just thinking this is a situation where some parents are trying to make money off the situation?

Ilriyas

I always had the advantage of being gigantic. The few times I was bullied often ended in the other kid leaving me alone by facing them down, or in the rare case after it came to blows.

I may be wrong but kids tend to bully those who are smaller than themselves (If their personalities are so inclined) or just take it when the bullying starts. Can't relate with the former but standing up for oneself as @Magic said is the best way to deal with it. I knew a number of kids who told a teacher or their parents and that never ended well to the best of my memory.

Finally I'm going to have to side with @Pirateninja's pessimism/cynicism. There's no way this would work out in the kids favour. Odds are someone's trying to make a buck.

Creeperbane2

@ardichoke whatever, point is the best thing that a parent can do for a child is to teach them,
1. Bullying is unacceptable
2. You will not always have a teacher, principal, or other school official to bail you out
3. The best way to handle adverse situations is to face them head on
The kid may walk away with a black eye or broken nose, possibly a sight suspension but in the end they will be better off for having done it.

ardichoke

Oh yeah, best lesson you can ever teach a kid is that the authorities aren't going to help you, you have to take everything into your own hands. That bodes well for the future of a society.

RyanFodder

The world is not black and white.

The answer for me was knowing when to draw the line of things you can solve yourself.

The situations I've been in never started out with broken noses and black eyes. It started with verbal harassment and pushing and shoving, and then later progressed to a situation I could not "stand up to" on my own.

In regards to the clothes: I didn't relate to being a geek as a kid, but nowadays video games and such are not quite so bad as they used to be viewed.

Times change. The world turns a slightly different shade of grey.

fatcat

I was bullied back in 7th grade. All 140lbs (I was 6'1" then as well) was being pushed around and verbally abused on the basketball court. This was long before we were taught to "tell a teacher" or report abuse. Hell, rough housing around was generally excepted back then. This wasn't just a single incident, but had been going on for months.

The kid was heavier and stronger, but I had had enough. I punched him in the stomach and then face, all ninja speed He fell to the ground, bloody nose and all. Never once told on me and never bullied me again.

I'm not saying violence solves everything. Times are different now of course. Everyone has emotions. There's the internet, etc. But sometimes an asshole needs to be punched. Hard.

cola

CannonFodder said:

The world is not black and white.

The answer for me was knowing when to draw the line of things you can solve yourself.

The situations I've been in never started out with broken noses and black eyes. It started with verbal harassment and pushing and shoving, and then later progressed to a situation I could not "stand up to" on my own.

In regards to the clothes: I didn't relate to being a geek as a kid, but nowadays video games and such are not quite so bad as they used to be viewed.

Times change. The world turns a slightly different shade of grey.

All 50 of em

Linc

I come from a mythical school district where I wasn't bullied and am not aware of anyone else being bullied. Bullies are a television trope to me. Teachers were always coordinated and always present - in between classes, nearly every teacher came outside their room and stood in the hallway. I actually can't even think of *where* someone could've gotten away with bullying in my high school. You'd get yelled at for flicking the ear of a *friend* in the halls, let alone someone you were trying to pick on. One outcry and it was over. Even the gym teachers would've destroyed you if you said a less-than-kind thing to a classmate, and there were gym electives that generally kept you out of situations where you were isolated from friends.

The "geeks" (band, honors, theater) numbered at least as many as the athletes, so the idea that a category of kids was outcast never seemed relevant. Sure, there were a few super nerds and some "goth" kids who traveled in smaller cliques, but kids generally weren't unkind or rude to them.

I guess my point is: If bullying exists it's because parents and teachers aren't dealing with it. It isn't inevitable, and it doesn't require special clothing. It requires a strategy and engaged adults.

MAGIC

ardichoke said:

Oh yeah, best lesson you can ever teach a kid is stand up for his/her-self.

FTFY.

ardichoke

The last thing I have to add to this thread is this. I was bullied as a kid. A lot. From the time I was in about 3rd or 4th grade until midway through high school, I was bullied to the point where I was going home in tears at least once a week, every week for much of that time (though it started tapering off in high school). I went to a small Catholic grade school where my class was around 25 kids depending on the year. When I say I was bullied, I mean that almost all of the male students in my class would pick on me relentlessly. I had no friends the entire time I was there. There were many times where I considered suicide as an option to get me out of going to school.

My parents and even a psychologist that I was seeing at one point told me to stand up for myself and if I had to, to go ahead and hit one (or more) of them. Finally, one day, in 8th grade, I had had enough. I lost my composure and I kicked one of my classmates in the side then punched them in the head (I was swinging for the face but he turned his head and I hit him in the temple). Not only did it NOT stop any of the bullying, it actually made it worse for a long time. Also, I felt like shit because I had let them get to me to the point where I resorted to violence. The rest of the year was just as bad, if not worse, than the previous 5 had been.

Luckily the Catholic high school I went to was much larger so it became possible to avoid the people that gave me grief. Then halfway through High School I started taking courses for half the day at a public technical school (http://www.saginawcareercomplex.com/) and my life drastically improved as I very rarely saw any of the people who bullied me.

Anyway, my point here is that resorting to violence isn't some cure-all for bullies. I was bullied more after "standing up for myself". It was probably because I didn't do any permanent damage to the bully. What should I have done next time? Stabbed him? Brought some brass knuckles with me? Maybe just thrown a brick at his head? Where does it stop? No, I don't agree that the solution to a bully is to resort to violence. My own personal experience has taught me that. Anyone that tells me what I lived through isn't true can fuck right off.

BuddyJ

If only you'd had one of these shirts!

primesuspect

Lincoln said:

I guess my point is: If bullying exists it's because parents and teachers aren't dealing with it. It isn't inevitable, and it doesn't require special clothing. It requires a strategy and engaged adults.

I would argue that it also requires the advantage of living within an area who has cultural support for this sort of support network. "Engaged adults" are required at every stratum of the child's local society... "It takes a village to raise a child" etc.

Creeperbane2

primesuspect said:

Lincoln said:

I guess my point is: If bullying exists it's because parents and teachers aren't dealing with it. It isn't inevitable, and it doesn't require special clothing. It requires a strategy and engaged adults.

I would argue that it also requires the advantage of living within an area who has cultural support for this sort of support network. "Engaged adults" are required at every stratum of the child's local society... "It takes a village to raise a child" etc.

As well as parents who aren't afraid to spank their children when need be, the world keeps getting worse because parents have forgotten how to punish their children, all discipline begins at home, with a hickory switch.

Thrax

Not sure if srs, but the world is not getting worse: http://www.andrewcohen.com/2012/12/13/world-worse-and-lies/

Tushon

Creeperbane2 said:

primesuspect said:

Lincoln said:

I guess my point is: If bullying exists it's because parents and teachers aren't dealing with it. It isn't inevitable, and it doesn't require special clothing. It requires a strategy and engaged adults.

I would argue that it also requires the advantage of living within an area who has cultural support for this sort of support network. "Engaged adults" are required at every stratum of the child's local society... "It takes a village to raise a child" etc.

As well as parents who aren't afraid to spank their children when need be, the world keeps getting worse because parents have forgotten how to punish their children, all discipline begins at home, with a hickory switch.

Except that is entirely wrong, but good effort. Discipline may begin at home, but don't confuse that with the blurry area between spanking and child abuse.

Canti

If you aren't threatening your kids with a loaded assault rifle when they are acting up you are a bad parent.

Don't point guns at kids.

Or anything really.

Linc

There's no reason to hit your kid as long as they believe you would.

Cliff_Forster

I was a rather large nerd. Big kid, early sprouter. Being big and socially awkward and passive actually makes you a target. Kid's think, well, if I can knock him down?? I put up with allot of abuse. One day, a particular bully knocks my brother off his bike, it was summer, a few weeks before I was to head into 6th grade. I had cried to my father several times about this boy, how cruel he was, how he abused us. My father told me, boy, take care of it, you just have to, you can't cry to me anymore. I'm not sure it was the best advice, but he meant well. You know that expression "I saw red". How many people have ever actually seen red? I did. Literally, a crimson tint washed over my eyes. When this boy knocked my younger brother off that bike, and proceeded to mount it to ride away, I dove on him, all rage, anger, years of abuse, years of turning away... I let it all out in about 30 seconds of pure rage. I busted his eye, fattened his lip, and I'm pretty sure he staggered away with a concussion as I repeatedly rammed the back of his head into the concrete. I was no fighter, but I was bigger, stronger, and I had taken enough. Everyone in my neighborhood either saw this happen, or had heard about it in 24 hours. They all asked me about it, I hated the attention.

Did it change my social status? No..... Did it make me feel better about myself? No...... What it did do, it reduced incidents where people would challenge me physically. The abuse was more emotional and verbal from that point on. It changed nothing, just the way kids would bully me. What I do take some pride in is this. I took allot of my own, but if I loved you, you were my friend, my brother, whatever, and I saw someone abusing you, that story lived on a few years, I'd only have to politely ask bullies to stop once.

It takes a village. People have to stand together. Nerds need to team up, jocks with good sense need to stop bullies, teachers, students, parents, nobody should stand idle. I've taught my children, both my grown step son and my nine year old girl, be a friend of the outcasts, the nerds, the geeks, the people nobody else will. Those friendships are lasting, they endure, they are real.

By the way, the kid I beat, thanked me a few years later. We had a heart to heart, turns out he had allot of resentment for his mother leaving him and his Dad. His Dad, decent guy, but having more than he could handle, let him roam unsupervised allot, he did not have much direction, and a source of some self esteem was toppling other kids. He said that day changed him. His own father did not coddle him, took him for treatment, and kinda said, well son sometimes you pay to play. Our paths crossed here and there, we were jovial with each other, not friends, but more like we developed an understanding for each other. I'm not sure what became of him to be honest, in the facebook age, I could look him up, but I'm not sure we would have much to say.