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deaden_07
Icrontic Technician
deaden_07
85 Posts
17 Jul 2007, 5:05pm

Information about former member Redoulent, warning - this isn't for the sensitive

First off, he says he owes Folding Team 93 an apology, but does not say what for. I found a note "Tell Folding Team 93 I'm sorry" written on it.

I was one of his closest friends. I say was, because he died in a car crash in the summer of 2005. I recently found a box in a closet that I used to store stuff that had REDOULENT written on top of it. I didn't recognize the box but I did recognize my friends handle, so I opened it. I wish I hadn't. In it I found printouts of information relating to Crown Victoria accidents. Detailed information with notes on why this driver survived and this one didn't. Pictures of over passes in the area and measurements.

I found a copy of his life insurance policy with a clause regarding suicides highlighted. The policy had to be active for 2 years before it would pay out on a suicide. He died in that car crash two months after the 2 year mark.

I found a letter he wrote about his wife and how he was having trouble making her happy. She was obsessive compulsive, so upsetting her was easy. He felt it was his fault that she wasn't happy. He asked her what would make her happy, and she answered $200,000. His policy was for $200,000.

I'm trying to convince myself that this isn't adding up the way I think it does. It's just a coincidence. He did not turn his life into a check in an attempt to make his wife happy.

We were his closest friends. None of us saw any signs. Did that SOB fool all of us? Did he put that box there so we would know? There are some other items in the box, and I think I know who they were meant to go to. I'm gonna pass em out to our friends. Do I tell them what I found?

Anyways, I looked up folding team 93, and came up with this site.
deaden_07
Icrontic Technician
deaden_07
85 Posts
17 Jul 2007, 5:27pm
I found a calendar in the box too. It had important dates listed out. Anniversaries, birthdays, anything that was significant. He circled the week he died in. There were no significant days listed there. Did he time it so that he didn't leave a mark on anyone else's important dates?
Lincoln
Snapperhead
Lincoln
15,966 Posts
17 Jul 2007, 5:33pm
I moved this to its own forum and protected it - only staff and long-time members have access.


I don't know what to say... it's too terrible. I knew something must have been wrong for Red to fall off the map like that.

Redoulent hosted a team-donated computer for us that ran Folding@Home 24/7 for years and years. I'm sure he was apologizing because he and the computer disappeared without a word... which was very unlike him. We tried for a while to contact him, obviously without success.

I'm really sorry. Thank you for making sure we found out.
__________________ Matt Lincoln Russell | Icrontic's Developer | site updates: @icrontic
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,801 Posts
17 Jul 2007, 5:42pm
I just PMed deaden_07, but since we have a private forum, I'll copy it here:

Thanks for tracking us down. I admit that we thought the worst of him for a while because of what happened. Perhaps I should explain:

We have a project called the "ICx Project" (Formerly the SMx project) where we solicit donations for money and computer hardware, and use it to build complete systems which we then send out to select "hosts". These people are trusted members of our community who agree to provide electricity and a network connection in exchange for receiving an essentially "free" computer. 90% of the time this works out well - we've deployed 36 machines in the past few years, and only 2-3 have been essentially "stolen". Until now, we thought red's was one of those. Turns out the story is much worse than I had feared

I don't know why he felt the need to apologize. This whole thing makes me kind of sick to think about. This isn't the first suicide or death that this community has experienced

Thanks for coming to find us. Please stick around, you'll find us a very close-knit family on the web.

-Brian
__________________ "I offer my genius to the world, all I ask is you pick up my expenses"
Lincoln
Snapperhead
Lincoln
15,966 Posts
17 Jul 2007, 5:57pm
Deaden, did anyone else have access to his login info for forums? Someone posted as redoulent just today on PCPer. I know the same redoulent made that account as here, because of previous posts. That's extremely creepy.
Kwitko
Sheriff of Dicktown
Kwitko
6,524 Posts

» Subscriber

17 Jul 2007, 5:59pm
Oh wow. I had him all wrong. My condolences to his family and friends.
__________________ "Is it not cruel to let our city die by degrees, stripped of all her proud monuments, until there will be nothing left of all her history and beauty to inspire our children?... this is the time to take a stand, to reverse the tide, so that we won't all end up in a uniform world of steel and glass boxes." - Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis
deaden_07
Icrontic Technician
deaden_07
85 Posts
17 Jul 2007, 6:01pm
Yeah, that's me and Smitty. Kind of our way of keepin him alive. This is bringin up a lot of bad emotions.

Finding the box makes sense. He didn't keep things from us. It was our golden rule. The items I found are significant to each of us in our circle. This had to be intentional. you bastard...........

Please forgive any typos or grammatical errors. I'm having a hard time here...

edit - Smitty says he recently removed "Proud Host of Icrontic2" from Redoulent's signature at Rage3D.
Lincoln
Snapperhead
Lincoln
15,966 Posts
17 Jul 2007, 6:17pm
Quoting deaden_07
Yeah, that's me and Smitty. Kinda out way of keepin him alive.
I understand the sentiment, but it might not be a good idea. In communities where Red was still active, they'd probably appreciate knowing at least the fact of his death, if not the details, and the discontinuation of his accounts.

As Brian said, we've experienced death in our community several times. If one of their accounts started posting again, it'd be pretty unnerving, even traumatic to some. Even seeing him on sites like PCPer and Rage3D is like watching a ghost drift around the Internet now.

//edit:
Quoting deaden_07
edit - Smitty says he recently removed "Proud Host of Icrontic2" from Redoulent's signature at Rage3D.
Things like that are the only memorial for those who knew him only online.
deaden_07
Icrontic Technician
deaden_07
85 Posts
17 Jul 2007, 7:01pm
We don't think he was close with anyone at those sites. Not a single PM, other than this one guy who Smitty struck a nerve with. We'll probably just kill those accounts.

Smitty is a therapist. I'm gonna get everyone together. To quote Redoulent "Never do anything you don't want anyone else knowing about". Not gonna tell his wife though. She took it hard enough, and would only blame herself.

I wonder how long this box was in that closet. If I had found it sooner, or right after he put it in there....
Winga
Swimming Against Time
Winga
1,838 Posts
17 Jul 2007, 7:18pm
deaden I did not have an opportunity to get to know redoulant through his postings on this forum. I am deeply saddened to learn of the tragic events surrounding his death. I can only imagine how finding the contents in that box must be effecting you. Please accept my condolences.

It's very interesting to note the words he used in his signature on these foums which read: "I apologize for my existance, it's the best I can do..."
It seems he was already trying to tell us something...

The last post he made in here was to congratulate team 93 on their best folding month ever. He was obviously a furious supporter of folding and we can only thank you for letting us know the true story. His reputation has been restored.
__________________ [folding_sig1]
deaden_07
Icrontic Technician
deaden_07
85 Posts
17 Jul 2007, 7:50pm
Looking back there were signs all over the place. We just didn't have any way of knowing what they meant.

He was constantly checking his tires. Witnesses said his tire blew just before he hit the overpass. The set before that accident he had worn the front tire down to where you could see the mesh under the rubber.

Winga - that quote isn't as ominous as it sounds. That was a common thing for him to say. The full quote is "I apologize for my existance, it's the best I can do... However, it isn't my fault that you are so easily influenced by my mere presence". He was frequently labeled the corruptor of our group, turning us all into rampaging smartasses.

He was getting daily migraines and had taken to sleeping in his lazy boy chair. So his wife was getting used to him not being in the bed with her.

There is no suicide note in here. No direct confession. I'm pissed and sad at the same time. This box is his way of holding himself accountable to us.
Kwitko
Sheriff of Dicktown
Kwitko
6,524 Posts

» Subscriber

17 Jul 2007, 7:59pm
I know I didn't know redoulent personally, but would it be okay to remember him by his real name? I think it helps to put a human being behind the screen name.
deaden_07
Icrontic Technician
deaden_07
85 Posts
17 Jul 2007, 9:11pm
His name was Patrick. He responded to pretty much anything you called him though. You could call him a Complete A$$Hole and he would respond that he isn't a complete one, he's still missing parts, and there is a huge back order list. Then he'd ask how soon you would be getting your parts.
Kwitko
Sheriff of Dicktown
Kwitko
6,524 Posts

» Subscriber

17 Jul 2007, 9:15pm
Patrick sounded like a fun guy.
GHoosdum
tequilavangelist
GHoosdum
10,277 Posts
17 Jul 2007, 9:21pm
While it's very saddening to know that this happened, it is touching to witness his friends remaining true to him. I couldn't hope for better from my friends if something happened to me.

Thank you for sharing with us.
__________________ My flickr photostream.
GnomeWizardd
<3 IC
GnomeWizardd
7,301 Posts
17 Jul 2007, 11:55pm
wow, I remember him as a rampaging smartass that we all loved, Sad to hear this tho. I will keep him in our prayers and I hope his wife is handling it well
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primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,801 Posts
17 Jul 2007, 11:57pm
I know it's probably weird to hear all this again, it being 2 years since he died, and I'm sorry about reopening old wounds, but for us this is all new.
dragonV8
RIP SM
dragonV8
3,935 Posts
18 Jul 2007, 12:15am
deaden_07, thank you for coming into the forum and letting us know what happened to red.
It is indeed very sad. Bit lost for words, actually.

Again...................thank you.

Jon
__________________ I live this life, till this life won't let me live here anymore.
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stoopid
realizes he's in grave danger
stoopid
1,388 Posts
18 Jul 2007, 2:15am
Holy ****.

Well, I didn't know Patrick but like others I have lost a few internet acquaintences along the way. It's real, and it really sucks.

To Patrick.
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LIN
Shaken, not Stirred
LIN
3,329 Posts
18 Jul 2007, 4:15am
Quoting GHoosdum
While it's very saddening to know that this happened, it is touching to witness his friends remaining true to him. I couldn't hope for better from my friends if something happened to me.

Thank you for sharing with us.
I don't think I could have said it any differently..
My condolences,


LIN
__________________ LIN



dragonV8
RIP SM
dragonV8
3,935 Posts
18 Jul 2007, 4:27am
Make of this what you will.................

I'm sure it was 2 days ago. I noticed a big producer for the team above Sally. Name:"redoulent". I did not take a screen shot, however if you join these 2 together, you will see what i mean. I believe he is in a good place looking down.
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version Name: redoulent1.jpg Views: 61 Size: 179.1 KB ID: 23592   Click image for larger version Name: redoulent2.jpg Views: 54 Size: 167.4 KB ID: 23593  
Shorty
Sniping teh enterpwise!
Shorty
9,543 Posts
18 Jul 2007, 8:17am
I don't even know what to say. I am very saddened to realise that it's taken two years to find out that he did infact pass away rather than just visiting
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Leonardo
F@H Reign of Terror is back!
Leonardo
14,703 Posts
18 Jul 2007, 8:31am
Oh no! This hurts.

It really hurts!

Thanks for letting us know, deaden_07. It's sad, but you did the right thing. I am sorry for your loss...and ours.

I remember Redoulent quite well. He did have a good sense of humor and was one of the foundation members of Team 93 at the original Icrontic forums.
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deaden_07
Icrontic Technician
deaden_07
85 Posts
18 Jul 2007, 6:54pm
He started refusing presents. He'd tell us not to buy him anything, but that if we insisted on spending money he would only accept it in the form of pizza pop in a social setting. That became our rule. Instead of buying each other material items, we get together and make fun of whoever's birthday it is.

Anyone who turns 50 is likely to have all their underware stolen and replaced with depends. Patrick started that one. Did it to our buddy Don the morning of his birthday right before he had to go to work. Don had the last laugh, he just went freestyle that day!

Leaving an empty container of a liquid laxative in someone's fridge. Nothing was tampered with, it just makes em wonder what they can trust and what they can't.

One time though, 6 of us, 1 bathroom...someone spiked the food with a mild laxative. 6 of us lined up at the bathroom tryin not to laugh and s$% ourselves.
primesuspect
The Icrontic Guy
primesuspect
27,801 Posts
18 Jul 2007, 7:06pm
Man, I bugged him to come to the LAN in 04 and 05 cause you guys are from Michigan... It would have been a blast, I can tell
MrBill
Support Our Troops
MrBill
2,135 Posts
18 Jul 2007, 7:46pm
deadon_07: As everyone has said, thanks for letting us know about Patrick. I think most of us that have been here awhile have shared a couple of laughs with him over the years. This is truly sad news!
__________________ "Hello World"....and so it began.
[RIP Icrontic10]
muddocktor
Wandering about
muddocktor
6,250 Posts
18 Jul 2007, 8:34pm
deaden_07, I also want to thank you for letting us know what happened to Patrick too. It is a sad affair and finding that box must have opened up some sore wounds to your soul and we really appreciate you coming here and letting us know what happened.

I also really enjoyed interfacing with Patrick here on the forums and do miss him too.
__________________ I have some computers running Seti@Home.
Kentigern
BC Survivor
Kentigern
896 Posts
18 Jul 2007, 11:44pm
Originally Posted by GHoosdum
While it's very saddening to know that this happened, it is touching to witness his friends remaining true to him. I couldn't hope for better from my friends if something happened to me.

Thank you for sharing with us.
Quoting LIN
I don't think I could have said it any differently..
Although I didn't know Patrick - My condolences, go to his family & friends
- Kentigern
__________________ Fold for Life - I'm a survivor
[folding_sig1]
deaden_07
Icrontic Technician
deaden_07
85 Posts
19 Jul 2007, 3:28pm
Ya know one time he actually stood in a pro-life rally holding a sign that said "Masterbation is murder! You're killing Millions!" Those people really don't have a sense of humour.
Gargoyle
We can't stop here...
Gargoyle
4,685 Posts

» Subscriber

19 Jul 2007, 3:32pm
Thanks for coming to share all of this with us, deaden. I wish I could have known Patrick personally.

Quoting dragonV8
I'm sure it was 2 days ago. I noticed a big producer for the team above Sally. Name:"redoulent". I did not take a screen shot, however if you join these 2 together, you will see what i mean. I believe he is in a good place looking down.
That's a really poignant image. It's tempting to ask Stanford what could have caused that, but I don't think they could give me an answer I'd like any more than the one I already have.

One-page PDF version attached if anyone wants one.
Attached Files
File Type: pdf redoulent - EO Stats.pdf (81.1 KB, 20 views)
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RADA
New Icrontian
RADA
2,297 Posts
20 Jul 2007, 10:18pm
This is very sad news.

I didn't know Patrick that well from his SM posts, but he seems like a very decent guy.

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend.



In the wake of this event, I would ask that anyone reading this post know that if they ever hurt so much that they think suicide is an option, PLEASE! call me, email me, shout from a roof top to me, I will (as will most other Icrontic members I feel) talk to you at anytime of the day or night for as long as you need to talk.

No matter how alone you feel, you are not....
__________________
QCH
Guru
QCH
13,098 Posts

» Subscriber

23 Jul 2007, 2:59pm
Quoting RADA
In the wake of this event, I would ask that anyone reading this post know that if they ever hurt so much that they think suicide is an option, PLEASE! call me, email me, shout from a roof top to me, I will (as will most other Icrontic members I feel) talk to you at anytime of the day or night for as long as you need to talk.

No matter how alone you feel, you are not....
You bet... we're here as a community and we can help you get through the rough times, and the happy ones too.
__________________

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csimon
Veteran Icrontian
csimon
7,069 Posts
26 Jul 2007, 1:31am
Thanks for getting in touch deadend ...I miss reduoulent too.
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TBonZ
Veteran Icrontian
TBonZ
3,450 Posts
27 Jul 2007, 2:02pm
Quoting deaden_07
Ya know one time he actually stood in a pro-life rally holding a sign that said "Masterbation is murder! You're killing Millions!" Those people really don't have a sense of humour.
That's the red I remember.

I knew something wasn't right with him seemingly fallen away from the net. I found out lastnight and I have to say that I'm taking it really hard. I feel so sad that 2 years went by and we had no idea. If only he could've have come up with a better solution to deal with his problem.

I had some correspondence with him and if I remember right it was during the summer of '05. At the time I remember thinking something wasn't right. I so wish I had of pressed him more about what exactly he was talking about. I feel a lot of guilt about this now. I have these conversations backed up on a dvd, first chance I get, I'm going to find them.

deaden_07 - We only knew him through this site so I can only imagine how you guys feel about this. I really liked Patrick and wish I had the chance to know him in the real life. My condolenses to you all who did know him.
__________________ SM23_Keith_Whitsitt - FOLD4LIFE
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Thelemech
DIVINEMECH Corp.
Thelemech
1,918 Posts
9 Aug 2007, 4:00am
Did not have the pleasure of knowing him. May he rest in peace.

To Patrick.
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