Oops, wrong window
My favorite ongoing gag at the office is to type some ridiculous non-sequitur into the main company chat, followed seconds later by "oops wrong window". I picked this up from @primesuspect / @tk stories from back in the sarcnet days. It's a very slow burn bit thus far - in 3 years I've done 5 so far that I remember / could find via search:
- It was like the worst possible thing to drop in the toilet.
- i never ate scallops again after that
- there's no way {coworker} isn't going to notice you did that
- I think she was dead when I left her.
- so i promised that was the last time i'd even *look* at pasties
The trick is to make it as personally embarrassing as possible without crossing a line. Contributions welcome.
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All of mine would be accounting related and no one would get them.
You might not think we're funny, but goddamn we're hilarious to each other.
I think you're right.
I'm an asset to this website.
"So there I was, stuck in the backseat of a BMW while the dog simply won't stop barking..."
"I don't think I'll ever get the taste of baking soda out of my mouth"
"Seeing that changed me as a person, and I don't know if it was for the better"
"I'd never seen my wife react to a simple question like that before"
"My going rates are $40/gram, let me know"
"Until this morning, I didn't know how hard it is to get out of handcuffs"
"So I told her to sit back down or else things would be getting ugly again"
"It was the most unique thing I'd ever seen in the company bathrooms"
"The nurse said that the cough was commutable, but not contagious. It's fine"
"That's the last time I'll mistake a potato for a hamster"
That should get you through another 5 years.
The original, and most classic was with @-tk and I back in our Sarcnet office days
"So there he was, shirtless, wearing a baby bonnet, with a Sherriff's badge pinned to his nipple...."
"Shit, sorry. Wrong window"
Free recognition at work! Thanks, Brian!
Gets 'em every time!
A fun variation that we sometimes exercised was changing it to first-person
"So there I was, shirtless, wearing a baby bonnet, with a Sherriff's badge pinned to my nipple..."
"Shit, sorry. Wrong window"
Subtle change, but I see how it works
Guys.
I need more of these.
This is like a gold mine for me.
Ha! She said "those balls on the tow thing"
Oh, sorry, wrong window.
"Guys, I need more of these. This is like a gold mine for me"
"Oops, sorry, wrong window"
Well boob puppets happened, and were good.
At the end of the day, I just don't know if I'm a pussy or an idealist.
Doof doof doof doof
I think we should leave it up to the mob, they seem pretty level headed.
I helped someone poop good!
It does not help that I am ugly and so is everyone around me.
I don't think it's fair to compare feminism with African warlords.
Just post pictures of every poop you take... That's it.
Super Mario was a tax-collector and all those bricks actually were tax payers.
It's like neo in the matrix but everything is sausage.
Stalin was just virtue signalling.
"Okay listen, TECHNICALLY I do NOT have a "micro-penis""
Oh shit, sorry. Wrong window
I wish they had designed at least a few of the orifices in my body to not randomly leak blood
oh shit wrong window.
In any company channel: "Uhhhhh, that does not look good."
For the last time, you can't fit a goat inside a dollhouse!
It's a shame she poured the oil right on my crack, sitting with blisters sucks.
Like, his ego is so huge you can use it as a boat fender.
Cash is a poor man's money.
I love as many tentacles on my face as possible.
Reddit is like the "greatest hits" of erotica.
Just figured out where all the ants in the fridge are coming from.
Madonna is like some kind of weird penis-wielding lizard in my nightmares.
Look, I tried to get aids but it didn't work.
All I'm saying is that democracy is cool, so why do we work in dictatorships 8 hours a day? Our jobs should be democratic too!
Fast forward a couple years later, and she's now a 'masseuse' and he's flat broke.
Have I mentioned my eugenics plan?
That one got me thinking and:
we never found the goat's head
God, I've made the chat 'topic' three times in a row now. This is just everything I've ever wanted.
I'm actually super into call-and-response scat.
Well yeah, when you say it that way of course spending $30,000 on a website is a good idea.
I'm glad the investigation's finally drawing to a close, I can't keep these lies straight.
That wasn't the first time I killed someone's pet, either.
It's not like you can just slip in, out, and in again without him noticing.
I know it's fake money, but HE doesn't.
That'll be the last time I leave my copy of Mein Kampf out.
I disagree, Zoobooks have more attractive pictures than Playboy.
Cops shouldn't be allowed to pull me over for that!
I told my Grandma I couldn't keep going with her to rob banks.
So now I'm covered head to toe in this stuff and she's just sitting there, laughing, still leaking everywhere.
Then he decided to rub it into what little chest hair I had left at this point, all while the dogs are howling at the ambulance sirens.
Who knows why they opted to go that route with the iguana, but it took a long damn time to get all the bones out.
I didn't know mud could cause chaffing in that area.
So there I am, berries in one hand and bush in the other, when my mom opens the door.
I had almost forgotten how potent viscera smells.
Let me tell you, after a half hour of crying I felt a lot better.
I'd never seen a bike's handlebars that far into someone's intestine.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: There's no decent metal cover of Surfin' Bird.
The takeaway is that you need to embrace your own retardation.
It's like having a wife, but with less backchat.
#NotMySuicideHotline
I told him he was the tinder equivalent to dick pill ads on pornhub.
The guy in the cubicle next to me just farted so loud my ears popped from the pressure change.
Then the owl puppet said "Yeah bob it up and down"
Oops, wrong window
So, there I was sitting at the brewery, and she just about bit me.