What a stupid deal

Tex

Remember I'm a consultant. An analyst that wites software systems for a living... among many other titles......

I get paid by the hour. I take any job they pile enough green dead presidents high enough to get my attention but...

I mean for gawds sake here.

I'm sorry... (rant about to be deployed)

You guys know I'm brutally honest usually. (long sigh...)

The latest gig is putting a java frontend on a Cobol system. Yes I have 20+ years with cobol (thats why I got this gig but...) really now.. I mean in this day and age.

Isnt this like painting lipstick on a pig? (I stood up in a meeting and told my manager this in a meeting today)

I like the money but... I mean give me a break here. First job I will feel guilty cashing the checks on in ten years.

Just stuipd design. Stupid decisions. Numb nuts in charge of every aspect.

Company would be better off ordering several lobotomy's for employee's and much cheaper in the long run also!

I keep telling myself.. Ka-Ching (sound of cash register opening again)

But sucking 20 grand out of someone for hiring managers born brain dead is hard at my age. I guess I am to old for this.

I need a real life. You got to stay a mercenary to be a consultant and just keep making that cash register sound and I am too old and to honest to do this crap anymore I guess.

I feel like I am painting lipstick on a friggin pig.

With crayons.

Uhhhh... hold still sweetheart....

Oink Oink. ka-Ching.

Tex

Shorty

Java & Cobol.. frickin ouch

But hey, you are getting my friend and it's your job.. so if thats what the customer wants, thats what the customer gets

Tex

Oh I give the customer what they want... no matter how stupid.. I even smile for 20 grand,

But I do feel guilty.... All the way to the bank. (grin)

Tex

Oh well... I needed some java on my resume anyway right?

TheSmJ

I feel bad every time I clean someone's computer of adware. I mean, in 30 minutes most people could learn how to clean (and prevent) it themselves...

I stopped feeling sorry for them a long time ago. If I cried over everyone who pays me to do the dumbest, easiest jobs, I'd be broke and very dehydrated.

Tex

But if you charged 20 grand wouldnt you wince even a little?

TheSmJ

If that's really what they want, and I warned them that's its not the best solution given the options (which you did), I'd chuckle, shake my head, and just do the best damn job I could. I might even throw them a bone and help them out a bit for free if something else small pops up along the way.

muddocktor

Depends on who it is. With brain dead idiots like you are dealing with presently, I'd laugh all the way to the bank.


Say it again, KA-CHING!!!!

Tex

Ka-Ching will probably make a S-M byte thing in the end.

Crap I wish I didnt have to drive all the way to Denver to say Ka-Ching. (what a whiner huh?)

But it is a sweet sound.

Oink. Oink..... Ka-Ching

Tex

Tex

TheSmJ wrote:

If that's really what they want, and I warned them that's its not the best solution given the options (which you did), I'd chuckle, shake my head, and just do the best damn job I could. I might even throw them a bone and help them out a bit for free if something else small pops up along the way.

But in my role some sales guy sold this pig. I'm just the guy holding the lipstick going.....

Here piggy piggy... Come to Tex sweetheart.

Someone else sold the dog and said he could hunt..

And left me standing there holding the leash basicaly with a slack jawed look on my face.

Tex

Tex

TheSmJ wrote:

I might even throw them a bone and help them out a bit for free if something else small pops up along the way.

I'm a pure contractor. but I contract to consulting firms that place me, not the end user that gets the services so there is no benefit for freebies. Trust me the company I consult for charges for every minute I work. (grin)

I already get smashed on Fridays drinking with the boss at lunch and thats the biggest gimme they give out. (grin)

I'm trying to transition more into this consultings firms main focus which is document managament. I give them WAY to much free time as it is. Trying to get more java experiance.

Tex

primesuspect

Okay, get this one.

I swear I am not making this up.

We just did a job installing new computers at an office. Standard stuff.

However, we were replacing TWO computers per desk with a new, single computer.

Why did they have two computers at each desk?

Well, one for the "internet side" and one for the "corporate side". The CEO felt that hackers could get into the "corporate side" so he forbade the internet. When that didn't work out, and employees demanded internet access so they could function in the 21st century, they got a second computer. But not just a second computer, a second set of ethernet cabling. Yes, an entire second cable plant physically isolated from the first. A seperate switch, seperate patch panels, seperate wall jacks.

No, wait, it gets better.

Employees were not allowed to have the "internet" computers and the "corporate" computers PHYSICALLY NEXT TO EACH OTHER.

So that the hackers couldn't jump the wires.

There's nothing more to say.

Tex

You could of probably sold him some very expensive 9cough... cough.... cough....) kevlar sheilded "hacker proof" cable to help protect the dirty hacker bits from jumping out and onto the safe corporate cable.

Tex

mmonnin

I hate stupid people like that. But then again if there were no stupid people like that then we wouldnt have anyone to make money off of.

TheBaron

primesuspect wrote:

Okay, get this one.

I swear I am not making this up.

We just did a job installing new computers at an office. Standard stuff.

However, we were replacing TWO computers per desk with a new, single computer.

Why did they have two computers at each desk?

Well, one for the "internet side" and one for the "corporate side". The CEO felt that hackers could get into the "corporate side" so he forbade the internet. When that didn't work out, and employees demanded internet access so they could function in the 21st century, they got a second computer. But not just a second computer, a second set of ethernet cabling. Yes, an entire second cable plant physically isolated from the first. A seperate switch, seperate patch panels, seperate wall jacks.

No, wait, it gets better.

Employees were not allowed to have the "internet" computers and the "corporate" computers PHYSICALLY NEXT TO EACH OTHER.

So that the hackers couldn't jump the wires.

There's nothing more to say.

MONEY PIT ALERT
*DING DING DING DING*

where does this guy live?

Mt_Goat

OK Tex,

Since you really do like that Ka-Ching sound.







This pig's for you.

.









.

Preacher

Tex,
When I first read your post, I thought for sure you had taken a contracting job with the government. It's great to hear private companies can be just as guilty of a criminal lack of common sense.

Leonardo

That's what happens when executives and administrators run the show, thinking their knowledge of management translates to technical knowledge. I've seen it too many times! Just because you know how to drive the 18-wheeler doesn't mean you know how to overhaul the Caterpillar diesel underneath the hood!

Mt_Goat

Leonardo wrote:

That's what happens when executives and administrators run the show, thinking their knowledge of management translates to technical knowledge. I've seen it too many times! Just because you know how to drive the 18-wheeler doesn't mean you know how to overhaul the Caterpillar diesel underneath the hood!

Or better yet.

Just because you own the company doesn't mean you know how to drive an 18 wheeler, let alone how long it actually takes to get from Reno to L.A. in December when Donner is frozen over and slick as hell.