Parental Control

fmueller

Our kids are now 8 and 9, and are getting more interested in computers, meaning they don't stay at on the Nickelodeon web site any more, but are starting to use search engines and are browsing through YouTube videos. I figure there is lots of stuff on there that I'd rather not have them see. Short of having to sit next to them all the time, how do those of you who also have kids secure the computer so they don't accidentally stumble across adult material?

Many thanks

Frank

bothered

When our kids were similar ages the PC was kept in the living room so when they were on we could see. They only got PCs in their rooms when they got to 18 or so.

broady81

I've had a PC in my room since I was 13/14, and my parents where fine with that. I never went anything dodgy, but I suppose that is a matter of trust on my parents behalf (and also what you class as "dodgy"). When I was younger, my parents installed something similar to this: http://www.netnanny.com/ on the family computer that filtered websites. I was never allowed to go on instant messengers 'til I was atleast in my teens, and my parents always checked what I was doing and asked about it. In Britain atleast, they now teach internet safety to year 7's (11-12 year olds) which I think is excellent. Maybe just have a chat with them and use precautions ? I can't say I have experience myself :rolleyes2

fmueller

Alright, this is kinda long, but I reckon I might have to provide a bit more background. Our kids are grade 2 and 3, and they already work a lot with computers at school. The other day my son did a little 'book review' and the whole class put those reviews up on the web. I think that's fantastic, and I want them to be computer savvy. They don't have computers in their rooms yet, but our computers are in the guest room, and in my wife's and my office, respectively. So far I could just let them use the computers for a while, and they were fine - also a welcome time for me to do some house work, and not have to supervise them as closely as I'd have to otherwise! I am a stay-at-home dad, and I spend a lot of time with them. On the computer, they mostly did kids games on Nickelodeon and similar sites, but now that they are starting to use search engines, I think I need to use a bit more precaution.

I don't want to stand behind them at all times, but unfortunately they are not kids I can have a lot of trust in - at least not quite yet. We adopted both of them 2 years ago, and we are the forth - but now forever - family for them. At the start their behaviors were extreme. I don't want to go there, but kicking in doors was the least of it. We are working closely together with a child psychologist and adoption specialist, and things have gotten a lot better, but lying continues to be a big problem with both of them, and realistically I can't see that change in the foreseeable future.

That being said, I think if my son came across a hardcore porn site by accident, he'd probably just click it away in disgust, but my daughter is naturally curious, and I trust she'd check it out up to the latest detail. Of course if they really want to find that material, they'll do it sooner or later. I guess I am looking for some software that would allow me to say with some certainty that they did not find the stuff by accident, if I ever caught them, and have some appropriate consequences in place.

Of course it's easy enough to google and find some software, but I thought I'd ask here first and get some recommendations based on first hand experience. I've found most of my favorite software this way via these forums. Oh, and I do love free ware ;-)

Many thanks

Frank



That's them, Mariah and Malachi. Cute looks can be so deceiving More pictures of them here.

Leonardo

but lying continues to be a big problem with both of them, and realistically I can't see that change in the foreseeable future

You must allow access only to a computer, which has a monitor clearly visible in a common room. That is the first and most important step. Anything else won't make much of any difference if this arrangement is not made. Password protect the computers that will not be in the common room.

From the bottom of my heart, on behalf of all humanity, thank you for adopting those children.

fmueller

Leonardo wrote:

You must allow access only to a computer, which has a monitor clearly visible in a common room. That is the first and most important step. Anything else won't make much of any difference if this arrangement is not made. Password protect the computers that will not be in the common room.

From the bottom of my heart, on behalf of all humanity, thank you for adopting those children.

Well thanks. They are only 8 and 9, and obviously never alone at home. Also, they might not always be well behaved, but they are not dumb, and they understand what consequences are. Trust me, using the computer, TV or anything like that without checking first with Dad if that's ok, is not a mistake you want to make around here! So password protection is not necessary.

Hanging over their shoulder all the time seems like the most obvious solution to the problem, but I bet the kids whose parents do that don't end up solving the problems in the Spyware & Virus Removal section of this site, but at best are the ones who post them here. More likely they won't even find these forums, and will ask Best Buy's Geek Squad for help. I want to save my kids from that fate :bigggrin:

primesuspect

It's tough, Frank. We're "charting the course" in a way, having preteens in today's information age. I'm in the same boat.

My boys are 8 and 10. I use smoothwall with Dans Guardian and it works very well when I use the "pre-teen" setting. I've tested it enough where I feel confident that it works well and the boys have their own computers in their bedroom, unattended by me.

They can get to all their games sites, they can use google, they can look for Lego information and hang out at Lego forums and icrontic, etc. If you use google image search on "moderate" it blocks almost everything. I've see the occasional breast pop up on google image search, but nothing pornographic (probably breastfeeding, breast cancer, or medical images), nothing that I object to (I don't find nudity to be offensive, and I don't want my kids to think nudity is horrifying, because then they'll end up like me and become porno fiends at 13).

Perry got his first porno spam the other day - something dansguardian does NOT block. He saw, let's just call it "a scene which occurs right before fellatio" . He clicked out of it and came down and told me. I explained to him that those kinds of things were not real situations and they were like storybooks for grownups. He still thinks girls are icky, so to him it was "well man, I never want to see those kinds of stories again... blech"

I'm philosophical about it: It's completely unavoidable - by the time their sex drive kicks in, like 12-13 or so, they'll either find it one way or another. All I want is for them to have a good enough relationship with me that they can talk to me about it and ask me any questions they may have. I don't want them to get the impression that girls are sex objects, but I also don't want them to get the impression that sex is bad. Your mileage and philosophy in that regard may be very different from mine (i tend to be more european in my opinions of sex issues), but for now, dansguardian is the thing that works best for me.

fmueller

Ah Prime - your the man! I haven't tried it yet, but already I know that this 'smoothwall with Dans Guardian' is going to be exactly what I was looking for! Icrontic delivers again! :bigggrin:

i tend to be more european in my opinions of sex issues

You can't be more European than I - I AM European! German actually, and I used to live in Amsterdam for a year, where on plenty a rainy morning, when I walked back from Chinatown to my apartment, loaded with shopping bags full of yummy food, the working girls in the red light district used to open their windows because they were bored, and yell after me to come in. To be frank, it never was much of a temptation for me. Anyhow, I know what you are saying, but living in the US, I also have to adapt somewhat to the culture here.

For example I am a lot stricter with 'bad words' than I usually would be. One day my son got in trouble on the school bus because some kids claimed he had used the "B-word". Now, everybody knows what the "F-word" is, but the "B-word" could end with itch or astard or whatdoIknow. I forgot what he had actually said, but it was none of the above, and something totally benign. The point of the story is that the bus driver and the school never managed to find out what he had said, because the "B-word" was of course taboo, and could not be named (until he got home) - neither by my son nor by the other kids. So he got written up and got in trouble with the principal the next day for using the "B-word". Of course at the time he used to see the principal three times per day, so one visit more or less made no difference

Many thanks

Frank

Leonardo

So then, Herr Mueller, you advocate for the 'B' Filter Program! A standalone scanner that removes all 'B's in text. Man, what a itch that would be for reading!

primesuspect

No problem, Frank. If you need any help setting it up, let me know. I've been using it for years. It's nice now with Smoothwall 3.0, because it comes with Dansguardian preinstalled. It used to be you had to install it separately, which was a pain in the ass.

You'll need any old junky computer, two network cards in it, and the smoothwall 3 iso, and you're all set. It's not hard to configure and install, you'll be able to figure it out

Leonardo

which was a pain in the ass

Oh great, now I need an 'A' filter. Tht will relly be * itch!