my 2¢ regarding calling out fails

CBCB Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄ƷDer Millionendorf- Icrontian
edited June 2008 in Community
I don't think it's good form to keep badgering people and calling them fails when they say they can't make it. Let people figure out for themselves whether or not they can or should make it to the LAN on their own.

Trying to make people feel like crap for not coming to your party, even if they already said they would, is not a good habit to start. And it's not anyone else's place to judge or try to fix the issue that is keeping them away.

It's not possible for their reason to be 'not good enough'

We're all adults: If we can make it, we can make it. If we can't or wont, then so be it. I'm not just talking about the hosts here. If I was I would say something privately. I'm talking to everyone. Many people are being very rude to the people who can't make it.

Sorry if it seems that I'm making a mountain out of a molehill here, but the singling out and deriding of people that can't make it is rubbing me the wrong way, and this year seems to be particularly bad for the practice.

Comments

  • primesuspectprimesuspect Beepin n' Boopin Detroit, MI Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    CB, cut it out :rolleyes: You're doing it again.
  • ThraxThrax 🐌 Austin, TX Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    primesuspect wrote:
    CB, cut it out :rolleyes: You're doing it again.
  • CBCB Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Der Millionendorf- Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    Next time I'm having a party I'll invite both of you, and when you don't feel like driving all the way to Cincinnati for it, I'll make sure to badger you both about it for weeks.
  • primesuspectprimesuspect Beepin n' Boopin Detroit, MI Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    That's fine. We'll laugh about it and take it good-naturedly like any mature adult would. I've privately spoken with everyone who is being "ridiculed" and everything is fine. We're all grownups :)
  • ThraxThrax 🐌 Austin, TX Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    Every person who has been ridiculed has been personally spoken to and offered various solutions to ameliorate whatever roadblock is preventing them from coming.

    It's not baseless.
  • mertesnmertesn I am Bobby Miller Yukon, OK Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    Thrax wrote:
    Every person who has been ridiculed has been personally spoken to and offered various solutions to ameliorate whatever roadblock is preventing them from coming.

    It's not baseless.
    Never use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
  • ThraxThrax 🐌 Austin, TX Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    mertesn wrote:
    Never use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

    Never assume that it was a conscious or deliberate choice.
  • CBCB Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Der Millionendorf- Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    primesuspect wrote:
    That's fine. We'll laugh about it and take it good-naturedly like any mature adult would. I've privately spoken with everyone who is being "ridiculed" and everything is fine. We're all grownups :)

    We're so grown up that after you can't make it to my party, I'm going to name it after you:

    "Sorry man, I can't make it this time."

    "What?! You're not primeandthraxing out on us are you?! What a fail! Do you need money? I don't even have a job, and I'll send you money."

    ...

    All I see is the public derision, which is the most perfect and effective way to alienate your friends.
  • KwitkoKwitko Sheriff of Banning (Retired) By the thing near the stuff Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    I called my own cancellation an epic failure. It's all in good fun. I don't feel ridiculed at all. In fact, I'd be more worried if I wasn't ridiculed.
  • BuddyJBuddyJ Dept. of Propaganda OKC Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    Dude, I'm coming to the LAN and it's still FAIL because I'll be there for such a short period of time. The badgering is because we care.

    badger badger badger badger
  • CrazyJoeCrazyJoe Winter Springs, FL Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    mushroom mushroom mushroom
  • sharkydartsharkydart KY Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    I think it would be worse if, after someone said they couldn't make it, nobody seemed to care or try to help/persuade their friends to be able to make it after all. It wouldn't feel as friendly.
  • jaredjared College Station, TX Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    srsly, if I couldn't make it and people didn't give me sh** i'd be concerned.

    PS. Kenkel is a little b****.




    [me]* jared hugs NiGHTS[/me]

    :jared:
  • primesuspectprimesuspect Beepin n' Boopin Detroit, MI Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    **** You, Kenkel

    **** You, Magic

    **** You, Kwitko
  • NiGHTSNiGHTS San Diego Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    In all seriousness it felt good to get phone calls from Prime and Thrax yelling at me. Friends even commented about it, too. I'd been questioning whether or not people would even actually want to see me a few months before the LAN - talked to Prime about it in private.

    Both my roommate and girlfriend said something along the lines of "...well I guess that shows you whether or not they actually wanted you to come" on separate occasions.
  • KwitkoKwitko Sheriff of Banning (Retired) By the thing near the stuff Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    primesuspect wrote:
    **** You, Kwitko
    <3
  • CBCB Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Der Millionendorf- Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    Okay. It seems counter to everything I know about party etiquette, but never mind I guess.

    If I start a thread about not being able to make it, will people pay for my gas?
  • AnnesAnnes Tripped Up by Libidos and Hubris Alexandria, VA Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    CB wrote:
    It seems counter to everything I know

    That's IC for ya! :D
  • KwitkoKwitko Sheriff of Banning (Retired) By the thing near the stuff Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    Poopie Pants wrote:
    Okay. It seems counter to everything I know about party etiquette, but never mind I guess.

    It's not party etiquette, it's friends having fun.
    Captain Fuddy-Duddy wrote:
    If I start a thread about not being able to make it, will people pay for my gas?

    If you started one???
  • RyderRyder Kalamazoo, Mi Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    Yes CB
  • CBCB Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Der Millionendorf- Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    Okay, so it's friends having fun. What about those people who coudn't make it, whom you didn't all make a big deal about and offer to buy gas for? Are they not your friends? Are they less important?

    All I'm saying is that the public comments should be more along the lines of 'we'll miss you. see you next year'

    If you want to ask for reasons, badger people about not making it, or offer to pay them to come to your party, you should do it entirely privately. No just to be nice to them (in case they don't want to be publicly derided), but also to make sure others don't feel unfairly treated.

    I guess when I post I'm always thinking about how everyone who has access to what I post is going to feel about it.

    I also don't really appreciate being derided myself because I have an opinion on the matter.

    Icrontic is not immune to etiquette. Just because we're friends doesn't mean we shouldn't be polite to one another.
  • LincLinc Owner Detroit Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    I yelled at and threatened prag until he bought a plane ticket. The methodology is sound.

    And actually, I get a little offended when people bitch out as badly as NiGHTS did. :range:
  • ZuntarZuntar North Carolina Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    Although I have valid reasons for not coming the LAN every year, I have been ridiculed by others to attend in the past. I took them as signs that I would be welcome whenever I do get my lazy butt up there. I have no doubt that I would be welcome.

    That said, I do understand your point CB.
  • KwitkoKwitko Sheriff of Banning (Retired) By the thing near the stuff Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    Keebler wrote:
    And actually, I get a little offended when people bitch out as badly as NiGHTS did. :range:

    NiGHTS is a no-talent assclown, so I expect it from him. :)
  • jaredjared College Station, TX Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    CB wrote:
    Okay. It seems counter to everything I know about party etiquette, but never mind I guess.

    If I start a thread about not being able to make it, will people pay for my gas?

    Good thing you never partied with me or my friends. I believe you are making to many assumptions. This isn't a damn wine and cheese tasting party here....

    I think it is safe to say everyone who has /kwit this year on us has been around the community a good while and knows how we role.

    You seem to think we are ridiculing total strangers here or something?




    edit: nevermind. whatever.
  • CBCB Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Der Millionendorf- Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    jared wrote:

    edit: nevermind. whatever.

    Indeed. I don't really want to argue about this either. I don't feel as strongly about this as some of you seem to think I do. (this actually happens to me a lot: I make an observation or state and opinion, and people think that I'm really passionate about it, or that I really care. I know I bring it on myself for the most part, but honestly, I usually don't really don't care all that much.)

    It's important to me that my position be understood, so I state it, but It's not ultimately important to me if my position is followed, nor do I mind if no one is actually convinced that I'm right.
  • NiGHTSNiGHTS San Diego Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    Keebler wrote:
    And actually, I get a little offended when people bitch out as badly as NiGHTS did. :range:

    Awww.... :hug:
    Kwitko wrote:
    NiGHTS is a no-talent assclown, so I expect it from him.

    Says the guy who shows up every other month to test the waters and make sure it's still okay he swings his balls around on the forums and in IRC, riding on the curtails of fame from a now defunct license plate and past LANs.
  • BuddyJBuddyJ Dept. of Propaganda OKC Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    ZING!
  • primesuspectprimesuspect Beepin n' Boopin Detroit, MI Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    Some crap like this seems to happen every year. Everything's fine here. We've all stated our piece :) We're gonna all get together in person and everything will be grand. See you guys this week, I'm really looking forward to hanging out with you all. Hugs for everyone :)

    -B
  • KwitkoKwitko Sheriff of Banning (Retired) By the thing near the stuff Icrontian
    edited June 2008
    NiGHTS wrote:
    Says the guy who shows up every other month to test the waters and make sure it's still okay he swings his balls around on the forums and in IRC, riding on the curtails of fame from a now defunct license plate and past LANs.

    coattails
This discussion has been closed.