According to Raptr, I put in just over 14 hours to beat this game. If I had paid $60 or even $50 for this game when it was new, I might be slightly off-put by that, but only slightly. The production and entertainment value are such that it really probably was worth that much.
Luckily, we don't need to worry about that anymore, since it's an older game and can be found for $20. At that price, it's definitely worth it.
Alice: Madness Returns is a beat-em up 3D platformer, with decent combat (you get two melee weapons and two ranged weapons as well as a tactical landmine) and lots of jumping in gorgeous, wildly demented landscapes. I actually began to wonder about the psychological health of the people who designed some of the elements in this game. The story truly goes down a dark, deep rabbit hole of psychosis, abuse, and depravity. The story starts off a bit convoluted and confusing, but it all comes together quite dramatically and poignantly right at the very end.
If you haven't played this game yet, get it. It's well worth $20, and with a New Game+ mode, there's probably something like 30 hours of playtime if you go through the game once for the story and a second time to get everything you missed the first time around.
The only caveat: this game would be slightly more maddening without an analog controller.
Final screenshot dump!
Things are falling apart for Alice:
The Red Queen's Executioner
Cameo from Razputin?
Good night, Card Knight
The fully upgraded Hobby Horse becomes a kick-ass Unicorn
I already know this is not my kind of game. I don't click with the immersion thing (and yes, I'm playing in a dark room in a big scary house, alone at night, with headphones). I think so far the thing that bothers me most is the movement speed. I'm probably ruined by the thing in my brain that says "First person view, must go fast". I find even holding down the shift key to run is still just ploddingly slow.
The story is interesting so far, and that's been the high point of the game for me. I find everything in-between the notes and journal pages to be tedious and boring. I just want to get to the next note and plot point so I can hear the tale. The monsters haven't scared me, so I guess that's a big part of it—I don't get the tension thing that I'm probably supposed to be feeling. I find the monsters to be an annoyance that make me impatient; go away so I can find the next note, dumb monster.
It's pretty, and the sound effects and music are better than I thought they'd be, so that's something.
Annoying invisible water monster
This is the first time I actually had fun in the game. Too bad it only lasted 15 seconds
Scary monster go away so I can read notes. You're in my way!
The brief moments of tension I felt as I was being chased through the halls ended after the first time it happened. From that point on, the monsters were seriously just an annoyance. I find the mechanic of "wait until music pounds, find spot to crouch, wait for up to two minutes until music stops pounding" to be a very poorly implemented mechanic. Seriously, interjecting forced moments of "doing nothing" does not a good game make. I took to picking up my phone and assing around on the web until the music subsided... because hell, you can't even look at the monsters or you'll go insane.
The hiding mechanic is super lame, too. You can basically hide in plain sight.
Anyways, the story is gripping and it is literally the only part of this game I'm enjoying. I feel like I'm playing an interactive novel. At least the puzzles are not frustrating, and finding the notes in order is nice. It would suck if they forced you to find them in a specific order. The pacing is nice and is moving along well.
I feel like I'm close to the end, so hopefully not much more of this.
Screens!
For shame!
I find myself doing dumb shit from boredom, like successfully balancing this chair on two legs...
Ooooh! Actual interesting parts
Another interlude: I started playing "moldy bread loaves into acid vat basketball"
BEATEN. It took 7 hours, according to Steam. Not a whole lot of game there.
I found the game beautiful, gripping, very well-written, and tremendously tedious and boring. The graphics and story were the only salvation in this otherwise bland experience of bad game mechanics. If there's one thing I've learned from this game it's that forced helplessness and forced idling just makes for a boring time.
The engine was beautiful though:
Onward to "And Yet It Moves", a game that I absolutely hated when I had to play it during some Steam event for some achievement that I don't recall. I do recall hating the game though, so there's that! Yay!
I'm gonna hate every minute of this. This game sucks. THANKFULLY, I already beat Chapter One because of the Steam thingy, and now I'm half-way through Chapter 2. There's only three chapters... Whew.
After putzing around with it for the day, I finally beat it. It's not a long game. I actually found myself enjoying it more towards the end than I did in the beginning. The first two chapters (the forest/leaves/trees motif) wasn't my thing, but I found the third chapter beautiful (glass/rock/mosaic), and so it made the game more compelling. I also configured a controller to play and it helped a bit.
The game is challenging, moreso towards the end. Luckily, the game diversifies a bit and throws some new and interesting puzzles at you in the third chapter. Instead of just "jump, rotate world, avoid long falls", a rhythm mechanic is introduced, more physics (manipulating fire), an interesting puzzle mode where you have to get your "shadow" to meet you in certain places, and so on.
The graphics are very cool; photographs "printed" onto paper cut-outs, with the rest hand-drawn.
Neat game if you have it and got it in a bundle, but unless it's $5 or less, not worth buying.
Riding a horny hamster:
The game gets prettier in the later levels
This was my least favorite puzzle in the game
Things be gettin cray
The end credits are really cool: They're another (easy) level to play through:
FIN
Onwards to Anomaly: Warzone Earth. I almost beat this game in the past and then set it down; I think I'm very close to the end, it shouldn't take long.
It's not fair to call this "Day One" since I've got several hours into the game already. Tonight I finished the Baghdad missions, something I put off over a year ago. I called this one of my favorite games of 2011 and I remember why; this game is awesome. Not sure why I put it down and never finished it (something else probably came along and grabbed my attentionSkyrim), but I'm glad I'm back to it. I'm basically 50% done with the game as of now. Tomorrow, on to the Tokyo missions.
This game continues to rock. I got three missions into Tokyo, and the pacing is nice; they've introduced a new crawler and ability for the player and a couple of interesting new enemies and mechanics to up the challenge.
Seriously good game.
1
TeramonaConsulting Tea Specialist Best Coast! Icrontian
I just want it noted that the first thing I saw when I clicked on this thread was "riding a horny hamster."
If I knew nothing else about you, Brian, I would still like you.
Another one bites the dust, and I'm sad to see it go (mostly because Audiosurf is next)
Anomaly: Warzone Earth mini-review
The difficulty ramp is just about perfect; the challenge gets more and more intense as you get closer to the end, but the skills and strategies you have to master to get through each mission are all continually helpful as the game culminates in the final battle.
The graphics are shiny, but the dialog is very hokey; because of the bad writing, the voice acting is equally inane (most poignantly during the Tokyo levels when "General Tanaka", with his very bad fake Japanese accent, tries his hand at British slang). The annoying part is that if you fail anywhere, you cannot skip the painfully bad dialog, so you may have to hear the same bits repeated a few times. Just consider them motivation to get it right the next time.
The music is ambient and mostly goes unnoticed. Typical electro-VGM.
All in all, I definitely recommend this game to anyone who enjoys tower defense. The online leaderboards and many achievements assure a lot of replay value, especially for those who like to min/max TD strategies.
I don't even think this is a game. This is just an interactive music visualizer. Oh well. I'm 3:19 in, so I'm in for the whole 10. I'll use this time as an excuse to listen to some whole albums that I've been meaning to listen to anyway. Two birds with one stone and all that.
I actually got a global high score on an obscure song lol
The thing that got to me with audio surf was that it wasn't good enough at recognizing songs that others had already played. I wanted to compete with friends and others on leaderboards in that game, but if the file you're playing is just in a slightly differently named file, then it's a different song on the leaderboards, and so none of my music ever showed anyone but me on the leaderboard. :/
This "game" is boring the shit out of me. I almost nodded off during a song, because you can't actually lose or die or anything. You can either choose to move the mouse around or do absolutely nothing and just listen to music.
The thing that got to me with audio surf was that it wasn't good enough at recognizing songs that others had already played. I wanted to compete with friends and others on leaderboards in that game, but if the file you're playing is just in a slightly differently named file, then it's a different song on the leaderboards, and so none of my music ever showed anyone but me on the leaderboard. :/
Comments
Alice: Madness Returns final thoughts
According to Raptr, I put in just over 14 hours to beat this game. If I had paid $60 or even $50 for this game when it was new, I might be slightly off-put by that, but only slightly. The production and entertainment value are such that it really probably was worth that much.Luckily, we don't need to worry about that anymore, since it's an older game and can be found for $20. At that price, it's definitely worth it.
Alice: Madness Returns is a beat-em up 3D platformer, with decent combat (you get two melee weapons and two ranged weapons as well as a tactical landmine) and lots of jumping in gorgeous, wildly demented landscapes. I actually began to wonder about the psychological health of the people who designed some of the elements in this game. The story truly goes down a dark, deep rabbit hole of psychosis, abuse, and depravity. The story starts off a bit convoluted and confusing, but it all comes together quite dramatically and poignantly right at the very end.
If you haven't played this game yet, get it. It's well worth $20, and with a New Game+ mode, there's probably something like 30 hours of playtime if you go through the game once for the story and a second time to get everything you missed the first time around.
The only caveat: this game would be slightly more maddening without an analog controller.
Final screenshot dump!
Things are falling apart for Alice:
The Red Queen's Executioner
Cameo from Razputin?
Good night, Card Knight
The fully upgraded Hobby Horse becomes a kick-ass Unicorn
Alice SMASH
Healthy kids!
That is NOT how babies are made
Eat me
Good thing the floor's not made of creepy meat
I'll miss you, Alice!
On to Amnesia!
Amnesia: Dark Descent, Day one
I already know this is not my kind of game. I don't click with the immersion thing (and yes, I'm playing in a dark room in a big scary house, alone at night, with headphones). I think so far the thing that bothers me most is the movement speed. I'm probably ruined by the thing in my brain that says "First person view, must go fast". I find even holding down the shift key to run is still just ploddingly slow.The story is interesting so far, and that's been the high point of the game for me. I find everything in-between the notes and journal pages to be tedious and boring. I just want to get to the next note and plot point so I can hear the tale. The monsters haven't scared me, so I guess that's a big part of it—I don't get the tension thing that I'm probably supposed to be feeling. I find the monsters to be an annoyance that make me impatient; go away so I can find the next note, dumb monster.
It's pretty, and the sound effects and music are better than I thought they'd be, so that's something.
Annoying invisible water monster
This is the first time I actually had fun in the game. Too bad it only lasted 15 seconds
Scary monster go away so I can read notes. You're in my way!
Cool fountain, psycho.
but seriously, finish the Void. It's so good. And boobs. But mostly good.
Amnesia: The Dark Descent, Day two
The brief moments of tension I felt as I was being chased through the halls ended after the first time it happened. From that point on, the monsters were seriously just an annoyance. I find the mechanic of "wait until music pounds, find spot to crouch, wait for up to two minutes until music stops pounding" to be a very poorly implemented mechanic. Seriously, interjecting forced moments of "doing nothing" does not a good game make. I took to picking up my phone and assing around on the web until the music subsided... because hell, you can't even look at the monsters or you'll go insane.The hiding mechanic is super lame, too. You can basically hide in plain sight.
Anyways, the story is gripping and it is literally the only part of this game I'm enjoying. I feel like I'm playing an interactive novel. At least the puzzles are not frustrating, and finding the notes in order is nice. It would suck if they forced you to find them in a specific order. The pacing is nice and is moving along well.
I feel like I'm close to the end, so hopefully not much more of this.
Screens!
For shame!
I find myself doing dumb shit from boredom, like successfully balancing this chair on two legs...
Ooooh! Actual interesting parts
Another interlude: I started playing "moldy bread loaves into acid vat basketball"
This is the scary part of Amnesia.
Amnesia: The Dark Descent, Day Final
BEATEN. It took 7 hours, according to Steam. Not a whole lot of game there.I found the game beautiful, gripping, very well-written, and tremendously tedious and boring. The graphics and story were the only salvation in this otherwise bland experience of bad game mechanics. If there's one thing I've learned from this game it's that forced helplessness and forced idling just makes for a boring time.
The engine was beautiful though:
Onward to "And Yet It Moves", a game that I absolutely hated when I had to play it during some Steam event for some achievement that I don't recall. I do recall hating the game though, so there's that! Yay!
And Yet It Moves, Day One
I'm gonna hate every minute of this. This game sucks. THANKFULLY, I already beat Chapter One because of the Steam thingy, and now I'm half-way through Chapter 2. There's only three chapters... Whew.Blorp.
Half-way done.
And Yet It Moves, final review
After putzing around with it for the day, I finally beat it. It's not a long game. I actually found myself enjoying it more towards the end than I did in the beginning. The first two chapters (the forest/leaves/trees motif) wasn't my thing, but I found the third chapter beautiful (glass/rock/mosaic), and so it made the game more compelling. I also configured a controller to play and it helped a bit.The game is challenging, moreso towards the end. Luckily, the game diversifies a bit and throws some new and interesting puzzles at you in the third chapter. Instead of just "jump, rotate world, avoid long falls", a rhythm mechanic is introduced, more physics (manipulating fire), an interesting puzzle mode where you have to get your "shadow" to meet you in certain places, and so on.
The graphics are very cool; photographs "printed" onto paper cut-outs, with the rest hand-drawn.
Neat game if you have it and got it in a bundle, but unless it's $5 or less, not worth buying.
Riding a horny hamster:
The game gets prettier in the later levels
This was my least favorite puzzle in the game
Things be gettin cray
The end credits are really cool: They're another (easy) level to play through:
FIN
Onwards to Anomaly: Warzone Earth. I almost beat this game in the past and then set it down; I think I'm very close to the end, it shouldn't take long.
Anomaly: Warzone Earth, day one
It's not fair to call this "Day One" since I've got several hours into the game already. Tonight I finished the Baghdad missions, something I put off over a year ago. I called this one of my favorite games of 2011 and I remember why; this game is awesome. Not sure why I put it down and never finished it (something else probably came along and grabbed my attentionSkyrim), but I'm glad I'm back to it. I'm basically 50% done with the game as of now. Tomorrow, on to the Tokyo missions.Anomaly: Warzone Earth, continued
This game continues to rock. I got three missions into Tokyo, and the pacing is nice; they've introduced a new crawler and ability for the player and a couple of interesting new enemies and mechanics to up the challenge.Seriously good game.
If I knew nothing else about you, Brian, I would still like you.
Anomaly: Warzone Earth mini-review
The graphics are shiny, but the dialog is very hokey; because of the bad writing, the voice acting is equally inane (most poignantly during the Tokyo levels when "General Tanaka", with his very bad fake Japanese accent, tries his hand at British slang). The annoying part is that if you fail anywhere, you cannot skip the painfully bad dialog, so you may have to hear the same bits repeated a few times. Just consider them motivation to get it right the next time.
The music is ambient and mostly goes unnoticed. Typical electro-VGM.
All in all, I definitely recommend this game to anyone who enjoys tower defense. The online leaderboards and many achievements assure a lot of replay value, especially for those who like to min/max TD strategies.
Final screenies!
Tokyo is screwed
Oh shit...
Audiosurf
I don't even think this is a game. This is just an interactive music visualizer. Oh well. I'm 3:19 in, so I'm in for the whole 10. I'll use this time as an excuse to listen to some whole albums that I've been meaning to listen to anyway. Two birds with one stone and all that.I actually got a global high score on an obscure song lol
You know. Tori Amos and stuff.
Two more hours down; five to go.