Dear Remedy Entertainment,
I woke up this morning feeling wonderful. The bright California sun crept through the small crevasses of my blinds. I got out of bed, had a shower, put on coffee, and checked the news. The motions were as mechanical as a well-oiled steam locomotive, but today the boiler had developed a crack—the steam escaped all at once with a single headline. “Alan Wake PC confirmed.”
It’s been nearly two years since I last wrote you. You had abandoned me, ditching the PC platform for that pretty-boy Xbox 360. You had kicked me into the gutter, and left me to bleed out while the two of you pranced about in gleeful frivolity. After all I had done for you, and all the great times we shared together, you changed your mind with the flick of a switch.
I’ll be honest, these last two years haven’t been easy. The few friends I had left have changed. Crytek spends most of his time with PS3 and Xbox now, claiming that they’re just so much easier to hang out with than I am. Things with Valve are complicated. Sure, we still get together, but he’s always talking about zombies, and strange science, and something called “lane pushing”, and all the while that European road trip he promised years ago hasn’t been mentioned once. I lost a lot when you left me, Remedy.
But now all of that has changed, hasn’t it? Alan Wake, after two years of Xbox 360 exclusivity, never saw much commercial success, did it? This stained, dirty plot is thickening like a soup at the hands of a chef who’s drank too much cheap booze, and it looks as if you are finally acknowledging the error of your ways. You’re becoming desperate. The game is slated to be released for the PC some time in 2012, and you want to sweeten the deal by including “The Signal” and “The Writer”, the two DLC packs released on the Xbox 360 for free. You’re hoping that I’ll forget about our little falling out so long ago. I’m not going to forget. I won’t be fooled again.
I didn’t like the way the show started, but you have given me the best seat in the house, front row center. Despite your attempts to assure me that you really care about the PC, and that you’ve had a change of heart, I just can’t shake the feeling that everything will go wrong with this launch. One last time, an exclamation mark to everything that has led to this point.
I want to hope that Alan Wake will be an incredible experience on the PC, but in the cold reality of today’s tragedy-laden industry, I already know how this story will end. Like every other developer that attempts a multi-platform release, Alan Wake on the PC will reek of consolitis. Graphics settings will be weak, controls will favor an Xbox gamepad, and despite the promise to release the game on Steam, it is practically assured that we can expect that ugly Games for Windows Live overlay infringing upon our experience.
We are in the final month of 2011. After all this time, you think you can just release a game first announced in 2005 and act like it’s all OK? The Xbox wasn’t a good enough sugar daddy for you and you want back in on the action of PC? I’ve changed—we’ve all changed—and life is different. Putting on a façade of normalcy while hoping I don’t notice a six year old game isn’t going to work.
Don’t bother writing back. By the time you read this, I’ll have turned around, walked away, and blown town. I can’t keep hoping things will change. Besides, tonight I’ve got a date with Riot Games. She’s young, energetic, and shows lots of potential. Riot doesn’t play games with her games. She’s everything you should have been. …everything you could still be.
Listen, Remedy, don’t do this to me. If Alan Wake on the PC delivers the full experience promised back in 2005, telling a thrilling story with fantastic visuals and gunplay, I won’t be able to ignore it. You are completely blind to it, but I’ve always cared, Remedy, and I’m doubtful that I will ever shake these feelings.
You are beautiful. I hate you for making me feel this way.
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