The second post detailing the adventures of Brian, Nicole, Perry, and Kyle as they wend their way across the US to deliver Kyle to Space Camp and spend the rest of their time exploring the south.
The first day started off late; we decided to leave Thursday night rather than Friday morning because CB and Betsy graciously offered us their hospitality so we could get a big head start on our push to the south.
The trip to Cincinnati was uneventful; we arrived around 12:30 at night and immediately crashed. I finally got to see the other side of the Dungeon Master’s screen (I’ve been playing in an online D&D campaign that CB has been DMing for several years now) and meet their two cats. We got up early and had a nice Waffle House breakfast with CB, then took Kyle to the “Best Barber in Cincinnati“, which is a fellow I had visited the last time I was through town; I had promised him I’d come back with my son on the way to Space Camp.
Russ, the barber, asked Kyle what kind of hairstyle he wanted; he pointed to a poster of the Rat Pack hanging on the wall and said “Like the guy on the right.” Russ said, “Oh, okay, you want Frank Sinatra? I can do that.” I looked at the poster–the guy on the right was Sammy Davis Jr.
“Kyle, you want your hair like the white guy, or the black guy?” “The black guy, dad… the one on the right.”
Boom, Sammy Davis Jr. hair incoming.
Newly decked out with a classy hairstyle, we continued on our way to the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. On the way, we went off the interstate in Kentucky a bit to explore Big Bone Lick State Park. I’ll be honest—it wasn’t on our radar until we saw the sign that said “Big Bone Lick”. We’re juvenile, so we stopped for laughs because of the name. We saw other funny names like Beaver Lick Road and Beaver Lick Christian Church. I mean, really? Big Bone Lick Park on Beaver Lick Road? Come on, Kentucky…
After the Kentucky laughs, we continued on to Tennessee.
When we hit Pigeon Forge, I was blown away at the absurdity of the town; it was one great big obscene outdoor circus. Like a country kitchen Vegas. Like something the Beverly Hillbillies would have come up with. A scale replica of the Titanic? An upside-down building? Sure, why not?
After the ostentation of Pigeon Forge, we then hit the kitschy bizarro world of Gatlinburg. The ultimate tourist town, every shop was bursting with cheap junk and airbrushed silliness.
Driving through Gatlinburg, you suddenly find yourself at a stoplight; after this stoplight comes a shimmering wall of pure green nature; it’s like stepping through a portal into the past. On one side of the street, Americana Excess; on the other, a pristine National Park.
The road through the mountains is nothing short of stunning. If you’ve never driven through or stayed in the Smoky Mountains, it is something you should do in your lifetime. It’s some of the most beautiful country I’ve seen. We camped in the mountains and rode tubes down a rapid-filled river. It was a blast.
On Sunday, we left the mountains early and made our way south and west. This is where we did something extremely nerdy: We swung a bit out of our way to ride through Georgia so that we could collect the Gowalla pins for our passports.
My kids thought this was really lame until I explained the concept: When I was a kid, my parents had a full-sized van and we used to collect magnets in the shape of the states we had driven through. I wanted so badly to complete the map of the US with those magnets, but it never happened. Well, today we have smartphones and can collect virtual mementos of our visits; Gowalla pins are those magnets for me.
A short swing through Georgia brought us through Chattanooga, Tennessee—a very interesting town with a big mountain in the middle of it. We continued on through to Alabama, where we saw our first of many roadkilled armadillos. A bit of journeying through the scenic Alabama roads, and suddenly a Saturn 5 rocket pops up above the treeline. We had arrived in Huntsville, and Space Camp.
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