Valve Software are masters of PR. There are few companies in the gaming industry today that are more capable of teasing their fans and messing with the minds of the press. They are internet trolls to the finest degree. At any point when you think they can no longer fool their fanbase, Valve pulls a new trick so big, so absurd, so hilarious, that it leaves everyone stunned in astonishment. E3 2010 is Valve’s latest playground, and all signs are pointing at the revelation of something big at this year’s show.
The clues began a month ago when Valve Press invited members of the gaming journalism industry to attend a pre-show Portal 2 event in Los Angeles. The email mentioned a time and place, and they promised Portal, beverages, and cake, but left it at that. Eager to see Portal 2 in action, press nationwide RSVP’ed for the event and sat in anxious speculation of what magic awaited them in the City of Angels.
A few days ago, Valve Press sent out another email regarding the event. Addressed from Aperture Science and written in the style of GLaDOS, the robotic antagonist from Portal, the email told of the cancellation of the Portal 2 event. In the event’s stead would be a surprise. The email rambled on without actually saying anything beyond that. This email just had to be read to be believed:
Dear Subject Name Here,
Aperture Science is pleased to inform you that we have partnered with Valve to announce the gala CANCELLATION of the June 14 Portal 2 event at the Regal Theater. The event will be replaced by a surprise. And even though the cancellation of the event certainly counts as a surprise, we are pleased to further announce that the cancellation of the event is not THE surprise. However, per International treaties regarding the definition of the word “surprise”, of which both Aperture Science and Valve are signatories, the time, date and content of the actual surprise will only become available as you experience the surprise.
If you’d like to ask fruitless questions about the E3 Portal 2 surprise or, more fruitfully, schedule an appointment to attend a Portal 2 screening at the Valve booth during E3, please contact Valve’s Special Envoy to Surprises, Doug Lombardi.
Thank you for –RECORD SCRATCH!!!–
PS: The surprising record scratch is also not the surprise.
In one single email, the gaming press was turned on its heads. No one knew what this meant, but coming from Valve, something fascinating was certainly in the works. The world suddenly turned their attention to June 14th, awaiting the “surprise” event with great anticipation.
So what does it all mean? I think that Valve has intentions to talk about much more than just Portal 2 at this year’s E3. The event, the press email from Valve, and various hints and timelines are a strong indication to me that we will be getting some kind of Half-Life news out of E3 this year. The most obvious title would be Half-Life 2: Episode 3. The episodic series had been announced as a trilogy, and the 3rd and final episode is all we need to tie up the series which originally started in 2004. Episode 3 may not be thinking big enough, however. Perhaps this announcement won’t be Episode 3 at all. Perhaps it’s something greater.
What if Valve decided to skip out on Episode 3 and go straight for the big one: Half-Life 3? There have been rumors going for and against the existence of a 3rd game in the series for years now. The Source Engine, which all Valve games post-Half-Life 2 have been based on, is really beginning to show its six year old age and it may be time to move on. There were six years between Half-Life and Half-Life 2, this would put six years between Half-Life 2 and Half-Life 3. With almost three years having past since Episode 2’s release, it is possible that Valve has decided to omit Episode 3 in favor of retooling the engine and building a bigger, better game to wrap up the story. Finally, Valve have stated that Episode 3 will not see release in 2010, but they never specified that Half-Life 3 wouldn’t see such a release.
Based on the clues that have been dished out by Valve, and how everything seems to be shaping up, I’m beginning to think that Valve has greater intentions than just Portal, and that we will see Gordon Freeman wield that crowbar once more in two weeks. Without a doubt if this does happen, I will become a broken shell of a man at the witness of such an event. Regardless of how it turns out, the only thing Valve won’t be delivering this year is disappointment.
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