The Apple iPad: Laaaaaaaaame

ThraxThrax Professional Shill, Watch Slut, Mumble Hivemind DroneAustin, TX
edited February 2010 in Science & Tech
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Comments

  • Sledgehammer70Sledgehammer70 California
    edited January 2010
    I agree with all of the above. Great overall break down. Just not enough to make it special against other market offerings outside of the Apple logo.
  • edited January 2010
    I totally see your points here--the iPad isn't changing the lives of tech-savvy people. Personally, I'd prefer to profit from those who DO use it.

    Sorry to be a sharing a link, but that very concept inspired me to write the post before the "presentation" ended.

    Man, that name is horrible.
  • GnomeQueenGnomeQueen The Lulz Queen Mountain Dew Mouth
    edited January 2010
    Hilarious write up, Rob. I totally agree with all of your points.

    I can't believe the tablet doesn't do multitasking. What a complete and total failure.
  • primesuspectprimesuspect Beepin n' Boopin Detroit, MI
    edited January 2010
    Shauna, it's totally fine to link your blog here when it's part of the conversation :)

    <3
  • chrisWhitechrisWhite Littleton, CO
    edited January 2010
    I like iPad way better then iSlate but you'd think they could come up with something better. Dropping the i from a product every once and a while isn't a bad thing.
  • BandrikBandrik Elkhart, IN
    edited January 2010
    Congratulations, Thrax. You completely shattered my inflated image of the iPad. I was all excited and was starting to allocate resources to purchase my own iPad on launch day, but you completely drowned all of my glorious dreams of relaxing on my couch and having fun browsing the internet with my fingertips while listening to streaming internet radio. You monster. I hope you're proud of yourself.
  • edited January 2010
    Good write-up. Next tablet please.
  • GnomeWizarddGnomeWizardd Member 4 Life Akron, PA
    edited January 2010
    the Joo joo or IE crunchpad was even better than this load of crap
  • LincLinc Bard Detroit
    edited January 2010
    It strikes me as disingenuous that you strike it down by comparing it to the Kindle, the iPod Touch, the Blackberry Bold, <strong>and</strong> tablet computing by pointing out how it isn't as good as each niche product, ignoring that it's the only thing in all those niches at once.
  • chrisWhitechrisWhite Littleton, CO
    edited January 2010
    Bandrik wrote:
    Congratulations, Thrax. You completely shattered my inflated image of the iPad. I was all excited and was starting to allocate resources to purchase my own iPad on launch day, but you completely drowned all of my glorious dreams of relaxing on my couch and having fun browsing the internet with my fingertips while listening to streaming internet radio. You monster. I hope you're proud of yourself.

    Screw Thrax, be excited, life's more fun without his voice in your ear :D
  • UPSLynxUPSLynx :KAPPA: Redwood City, CA
    edited January 2010
    Don't need it. Nope! Don't need it!
  • UPSLynxUPSLynx :KAPPA: Redwood City, CA
    edited January 2010
    Lincoln wrote:
    It strikes me as disingenuous that you strike it down by comparing it to the Kindle, the iPod Touch, the Blackberry Bold, and tablet computing by pointing out how it isn't as good as each niche product, ignoring that it's the only thing in all those niches at once.


    True, but if it sucks at being all of the above, then who cares?
  • ThraxThrax Professional Shill, Watch Slut, Mumble Hivemind Drone Austin, TX
    edited January 2010
    Lincoln wrote:
    It strikes me as disingenuous that you strike it down by comparing it to the Kindle, the iPod Touch, the Blackberry Bold, <strong>and</strong> tablet computing by pointing out how it isn't as good as each niche product, ignoring that it's the only thing in all those niches at once.

    And yet it fails to offer the very basic amenities which are considered standard for all of them. Hmm.
  • LincLinc Bard Detroit
    edited January 2010
    Here's the Keynote video if you want to see it for yourself.
  • lunchb0xlunchb0x Lansing, MI
    edited January 2010
    I think if it had better hardware and OSX on it, it'd be a better device and there'd be more widespread adoption
  • chrisWhitechrisWhite Littleton, CO
    edited January 2010
    Okay, hyperbole and ridiculous claims about the internet without important things like like Flash support aside. Tell me this isn't a compelling looking product.

    In my opinion, despite it's flaws, what you get with the iPad over any of those other devices Thrax is a very polished and refined complete package that no other vendor is offering. It's a but unfair to say that it doesn't live up to an iPod Touch, but it's clearly different from a Kindle and a Blackberry, I don't think that's a fair comparison. I agree, some people will choose this over an ebook reader but I don't think this will replace anyone's Blackberry Bold or vice-versa. I think the valid comparison is against netbooks, and yes, you're paying more for a iPad then a netbook. But the interface, experience and partnerships (like the iBook store) is what you're paying extra for. It's really too soon to call it on any of this stuff until we get our hands on it but I'd be willing to put money on this being a much better experience then any other netbook on the market, especially any other first gen devices.

    It's not perfect, no, but it's legitimate to pay extra for a polished experience in my opinion. But that's always been what you pay the Apple tax for.
  • ThraxThrax Professional Shill, Watch Slut, Mumble Hivemind Drone Austin, TX
    edited January 2010
    You get a refined and "polished" experience that does all its many tasks with less robustness than things currently on the market.

    The iPod succeeded because it did music better than anything else. The iPhone succeeded because it did smartphones better than anything else. Now we come to the iPad which doesn't do tablets better than other tablets, reading better than other ereaders or browsing better than many <I>phones.</i> What, exactly, then is so polished?
  • PetraPetra Palmdale, CA USA
    edited January 2010
    Nicely done.

    Anyone catch the Lenovo U1 at CES?
  • edited January 2010
    Yeah but ... it's magical and revolutionary.

    Derpa derp.
  • edited January 2010
    You can polish a turd to a mirror shine chrisWhite, but in the end it's still a steaming piece of shit.
  • ThraxThrax Professional Shill, Watch Slut, Mumble Hivemind Drone Austin, TX
    edited January 2010
    mas0n wrote:
    Yeah but ... it's magical and revolutionary.

    Derpa derp.

    And <i>advanced</i>.
  • edited January 2010
    ^5 for the Invader Zim reference (-5 if you weren't making the reference I was thinking of)
  • chrisWhitechrisWhite Littleton, CO
    edited January 2010
    I guess we'll have to see when it comes out, but despite your opinions I'm willing to bet that it outsells any other netbook on the market, that's just my guess though :)
  • Sledgehammer70Sledgehammer70 California
    edited January 2010
    I'd almost be willing to bet against that.. But I know the Apple fanboi's will flock at anything Job's calls "Magical".
  • SnarkasmSnarkasm Madison, WI
    edited January 2010
    Of course it'll outsell anything else - it's already got an army salivating for it.

    Know what netbooks can do? Surf the internet and chat with friends at the same time. Know what lots of netbooks have? Cameras for video chat. Know what the iPad can't do? Any advanced functionality at all. Ooh, you can use a bluetooth keyboard! But you can't plug in a USB one without your special adapter. And good luck plugging in a flash drive, too. I can't wait to see the first picture of somebody hooking up a USB hub to the dock adapter.

    I cannot logically conclude that this product serves ANY niche admirably.
  • ShortyShorty Manchester, UK
    edited January 2010
    I will cut through the taglines and frenzy to ask the simple question:

    What exactly is the point of this device?
  • ColgereColgere Cincinnati, OH
    edited January 2010
    Shorty wrote:
    I will cut through the taglines and frenzy to ask the simple question:

    What exactly is the point of this device?

    This question right here sums up everything about the iPad perfectly. Sadly, I don't have an answer.
  • KwitkoKwitko Sheriff of Banning (Retired) By the thing near the stuff
    edited January 2010
    The point of this device is to milk fanboys until their wallets are dry, to show the world it's possible to make an enormous iPod Touch, and to prove that Apple has run out of innovative ideas and is stretching the iPhone form factor to its breaking point. I cannot find a single new idea presented in the iSanitaryNapkin.
  • edited January 2010
    Hi,
    it's bad to write about devices you don't know...
    I am actually writing this AND listening to my music simultaneously
    on my iPhone
    I don't see why the iPad couldn't do the same.
  • SnarkasmSnarkasm Madison, WI
    edited January 2010
    If you'd read, you'd notice that he didn't say you couldn't listen to music and use the web; he said you couldn't listen to streaming music and do something else at the same time. Using the web browser to stream music and an iChat client to talk to friends? Can't do both at the same time. Can't read a document. Can't check your calendar. Can't, can't, can't.
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