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Champion 4: the Muscle Car of toilets

Champion 4: the Muscle Car of toilets

Champion 4: the muscle car of toilets

Crazy Joe has met his match

There are certain things in life that we simply take for granted. I wake up, yawn and stretch, put my glasses on, and perform the necessary rituals. It has been said that I am one of the most “regular” men ever to be born on this earth. I finish the deed, I push the lever, and the result goes down the hole.

Wait right there a second. Sadly, that hasn’t been the case of late. Our toilet was in a sorry state. After having guests visit for the past two months straight, our toilet was struggling, leaky, and slow. “That just won’t do,” I thought to myself as I realized I have CrazyJoe visiting in a few weeks.

The search was on for a new toilet. I knew I was in for trouble when the salesman at Home Depot, who looked like a college dropout, approached and asked if we needed help with anything. Shockingly, he turned out to have more toilet knowledge than anyone I’ve ever met. In fact, he sounded exactly like a car aficionado, except he was talking about toilets:

  • “What are you looking for: performance, style, or maybe value?”
  • “This model was known to perform really well as a 1.6, but as with the transition to 1.6 when the old designs gave poor performance, it’s an unknown quantity now at 1.28.”
  • “You happen to have chosen the second heaviest model on our shelf.”
  • “I usually prefer Kohler’s looks, but if it’s performance you’re after, it’s hard to beat American Standard.”

As it turns out, his expert guidance led us to the exact model of toilet that a friend had recently recommended, although he didn’t know the model name, “Hey, you should get that toilet that can flush a bucket of golf balls!” This legendary performer is known by one name: Champion 4.

It’s called the Champion for a reason: it really does what it promises. In the manufacturer’s own words:

Meet the Champion 4, the undisputed leader in high performance toilets. With the industry’s widest 2 3/8″ trapway and 4″ flush valve, it created a plunger free world for homeowners and virtually eliminated clogged toilet call backs for plumbers. The Champion will move a mass 70% larger than the industry standard. It achieves the highest bulk removal rating of 1,000 grams and will even flush a bucket of golf balls! Which means you can flush with confidence and never worry about plunging a toilet again.

You read that right. The Champion 4 is the undisputed leader in high performance toilets. This thing is faster than a GT-R. Well, at least, if flushes faster than a GT-R. After a week of use and abuse by a houseful of residents and guests passing through a single bathroom, I can honestly say that the Champion 4 is the best toilet I have ever used.

While I haven’t yet tried to flush a bucket of golf balls, it is incredibly satisfying to push the lever and, as promised, the result goes down the hole. What more could you ask of a toilet?


  1. primesuspect
    primesuspect Man, if you think your toilet was bad after a "few" guests for a couple of months:


    By the sweet milk of Hera's divine breasts, we need two of these IMMEDIATELY.
  2. GHoosdum
    GHoosdum There is not a doubt in my mind that two Champion 4's would revolutionize ICHQ overnight.
  3. timuchan
    timuchan Haha, awesome. If I was in the market for a toilet, I would totally buy one of these. That or one of these automatic korean toilets: http://thatlumberjack.tumblr.com/post/663320059/the-following-is-a-fictional-account-of-what
  4. LivLuvs
    LivLuvs Your wife, me, would prefer you not attempt to flush golf balls down the toilet - we have enough crap in our lives as it is to deal with. Thanks.
  5. Zanthian
    Zanthian Do I hear a fund drive in ICHQ's future? Prime you should totally kick one off before EPIC.
  6. Butters
    Butters I have both a Champion 4 Flushing system by American Standard and a unit using Kohler's Class 5 Flushing technology. My preference is the Kohler hands down. However, the C4 is still a good choice.

    Here are "Benchmarks" results
  7. CrazyJoe
    CrazyJoe Well I will definitely put the Champion 4 to the test. We'll see who the real champion is!!
  8. UPSLynx
    UPSLynx I am living testament that the Champion 4 is indeed a spectacle to behold.

    Expo Icrontic 2010: Brought to you by American Standard.
  9. Winfrey
    Crazy Joe wrote:
    Well I will definitely put the Champion 4 to the test. We'll see who the real champion is!!

    Two man enter one man leave?
  10. Jingalls
    Jingalls You're afraid of what the man who reviewed Hello Kitty Online would do to your toilet?
  11. primesuspect
    primesuspect Yes. Very, very much so.
  12. RyanMM
    RyanMM [facebook]Ryan likes this. [/facebook]
  13. Kwitko
    Kwitko But will it pass the Raul test?
  14. CrazyJoe
    CrazyJoe Jingalis, obviously you've never met me. I have a reputation to uphold.
  15. Jingalls
    Jingalls Well in that case, I wish you luck as you prepare to do battle with this Champion of Toilets.
  16. Optix
    Optix This is exactly what happens when computer junkies find bathroom fixtures and plumbing left lying around. They overclock it.
  17. troll
    troll C3 Toilet Seat to go along with that?

    <embed src="http://c.brightcove.com/services/viewer/federated_f8/1078562390&quot; bgcolor="#FFFFFF" flashVars="videoId=229484565&playerId=1078562390&viewerSecureGatewayURL=https://console.brightcove.com/services/amfgateway&servicesURL=http://services.brightcove.com/services&cdnURL=http://admin.brightcove.com&domain=embed&autoStart=false&&quot; base="http://admin.brightcove.com&quot; name="flashObj" width="486" height="412" seamlesstabbing="false" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" swLiveConnect="true" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/shockwave/download/index.cgi?P1_Prod_Version=ShockwaveFlash"></embed&gt;
  18. Zuntar
  19. GHoosdum
    GHoosdum Toilet is credit to team!

    I am pleased to report that nothing Joe could eat was a challenge at all for the Champion 4.
  20. CrazyJoe
    CrazyJoe I have been defeated. :-(
  21. QCH
    QCH The winner by knock out... CHAMPION 4!!!
  22. primesuspect
    man, if you think your toilet was bad after a "few" guests for a couple of months:

    What the hell do you think the ichq toilets go through during the month of june alone?

    By the sweet milk of hera's divine breasts, we need two of these immediately.

    we have one.

    I have shat upon this throne of toilethood. It is truly a toilet of the gods.
  23. Kwitko
    Kwitko I keep telling Dagmara we need to get one for the house. I will break her. She will concede.
  24. QCH
    QCH Just have Brian video the champion 4 flushing. That will make her a believer... oh wait, that might not be the best visual. Uh.... use just plan toilet paper and fill it up and video it.
  25. primesuspect
    primesuspect As a man who has sat upon many a toilet over the years, I will say this:

    The shape of the bowl is the most comfortable and natural (for a man) that I have ever perched upon. It eliminates many of the common issues and frustrations that are unique to men sitting on toilets.
  26. UPSLynx
    UPSLynx "...or a techie like me" *sigh*

    man, combo the C3 with the Champion 4, that toilet would be UNSTOPPABLE.
  27. Jokke
    Jokke After a hard struggle after EpIC last year, where I, ehrm, managed to choke (and I doubt I'm the first, or last) Primes upper toilet, and causing a flood in his basement, I'm sure that acquiring this toilet will save Prime from early retirement due to heart conditions and ulcer.
  28. primesuspect
    primesuspect I DARE you to try and choke the Champion 4, Jokke :D

    I think it can even handle a viking
  29. primesuspect
    primesuspect Kyle plugged the Champion 4 tonight.
  30. Ryder
    Ryder Use less paper.
  31. GHoosdum
    Kyle plugged the Champion 4 tonight.

    Did you do a postmortem? I'd like to know what CAN plug one of these Champions.
  32. RyanMM
    RyanMM And now he has to live with the shame of that public knowledge. I feel for the poor chap.
  33. Winfrey
    Winfrey Did you use a stick?
  34. CrazyJoe
    Kyle plugged the Champion 4 tonight.

    Bravo! I'm impressed. :respect:
  35. UPSLynx
    UPSLynx End of an era! I can't believe I'm reading this!
  36. Canti
    Canti Did he flush his brother? How the hell?!
  37. primesuspect
    primesuspect Post Mortem:

    Wayyyyy too much toilet paper. We've had a talk.
  38. Thrax
    Thrax Damn. I just came into this thread to say "Pro tip: use less toilet paper."
  39. MAGIC
    MAGIC Hah, he doesnt know how to use the three seashells.
  40. Kwitko
    Post Mortem:

    Wayyyyy too much toilet paper. We've had a talk.

    Like how much, three rolls?
  41. ardichoke
    Kwitko wrote:
    Like how much, three rolls?

    You jest, but we've had at least one incident at work where someone attempted to flush a whole roll of TP.... and I (allegedly) work with adults.
  42. primesuspect

    @primesuspect said:

    By the sweet milk of Hera's divine breasts, we need two of these IMMEDIATELY.


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