Mediocre Superpowers, and those damned dirty psychic thieves at Penny Arcade

Brian Ambrozy 6 Oct, 2008 at 5:27pm ET Article published in Tech

I cannot TELL you how flabbergasted I was to see those smug clowns over at Penny Arcade make a comic about a mediocre superpower today. Gabe’s mediocre superpower? A Beta Whisperer. Pfff.

Hmph. On SATURDAY, which clearly and by all laws of known physics occurs BEFORE Monday, Thrax, Perry, Keebler and myself sat around the ICHQ Kitchen Island and discussed, you guessed it, MEDIOCRE SUPERPOWERS.

Thrax’ mediocre superpower was the amazing ability to make chicken taste like anything. He simply touches a piece of chicken and… voila, it tastes like chocolate. Or raspberries. Or Creme Brulee Java Stout.

Perry’s was the “Human Wi-Fi Hotspot”. His feet were Wi-Fi antennae. Nomads in the desert would flock to him and gather round while their wireless devices were finally quenched with the updates they so desperately lacked.

You get the idea.

So GABE and TYCHO, WE DID IT FIRST. I think maybe Tycho’s mediocre superpower is to PSYCHICALLY STEAL AMAZING IDEAS from other websites and then render them into comic form with his partner in crime. Perhaps this explains all of their awesome comic ideas over the years. Perhaps their well of inspiration contains dark, nefarious waters…

Comments

6 Oct 2008 ~ 5:30pm Thrax Transmute: Sweet Ideas Into $$$. But that's not mediocre, is it PA? Jerks!
6 Oct 2008 ~ 5:36pm Linc Mine was to instantly boil a pot or kettle of water.
7 Oct 2008 ~ 2:32am bothered

Keebler wrote:

Mine was to instantly boil a pot or kettle of water.

An extremely fortuitous super power indeed. More useful than flying.
7 Oct 2008 ~ 8:48am Kwitko Brian and co. were the first ever to think of mediocre superpowers. It's obvious PA used their mediocre superpower of clever comic strip theme theft to steal your wholly original idea and capitalize on it.
7 Oct 2008 ~ 9:30am CB If I hold tightly on to my nose, clamp my mouth shut tight, and try really hard to exhale, I can shoot blood from my ears. It's not much, but it's my own mediocre superpower.

^I made this joke (such as it is) in an e-mail newsleter c.1999

you stol'd it!