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Concerned citizen petitions President Obama to ban Skyrim

Concerned citizen petitions President Obama to ban Skyrim

BAN SKYRIM

Yes, you read that right. A Tennessee man has petitioned the President, via the White House petitions website, to ban the best-selling game The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. The petition that has been sent to the Obama administration is labeled “Immediately Ban the Deadly Videogame Known as “SkyRim” for The Safety of America’s Youths.” The text of the petition is as follows:

Whereas videogaming has proven to cause social, ethical and health problems in people of all ages,

Whereas sexual perversion and homosexuality are threatening to destroy the Christian foundations on which this nation was built,

Whereas a new video game has just been created that far exceeds any others in the psychological and spiritual damage it does to teens,

We, the American people, today ask you,

1) To enact an immediate ban on the videogame known as “SkyRim” produced by Blizzard Entertainment.

2) To seize and destroy all copies already in public hands and erase its presence on the internet.

3) To prosecute the players of “SkyRim” to the fullest extent of the law.

4) To create a national database of videogame avatars and “screen names” so that teenagers can be better monitored.

Clearly, Blizzard Entertainment made Skyrim in the first place. At least Bethesda Softworks (the actual developer of the game) is off the hook for this deadly video game that is out there doing spiritual damage to teens.

Comments

  1. QuadWhore
    QuadWhore My opinion on this; "lololOlol10lololelohel"
  2. Garg
    Garg Wow. Ragefail.
  3. fatcat
    fatcat already has 468 signatures of the 25k needed...

    :D
  4. Koreish
    Koreish I enjoy the part 2 of the petition. Good luck with that.
  5. pigflipper
    pigflipper Ashley and I took a while and read through the petition signatures. It was good laughs.
  6. MAGIC
  7. Garg
    Garg If only there was a mod that puts SR3's dildobats into Skyrim. I'd make Fox News SO MANY SCREENSHOTS.
  8. Canti
    Canti I.....uh......YES!
  9. Thrax
    Thrax Jarl Balgruuf doesn't care about Imperials.
  10. Ilriyas
    Ilriyas I lold, this is just yet another example of how stupid people can actually be.

    Can I sign this for the lulz?
  11. kryyst
    kryyst I'd totally sign that petition if I was in the US. Something like that need to get pushed through to prove how ridiculous the whole situation is to begin with.
  12. branmyson
    branmyson Let me get this straight... a guy on the internet doesn't like skyrim and want's it banned? I am glad you told us.
  13. branmyson
    branmyson Come to think of it... I wonder if he is trolling.
  14. mertesn
    mertesn As long as it's limited to the letter of the petition, I'm ok with this. The Blizzard version of SkyRim is clearly a menace to society. :D
  15. NiGHTS
    NiGHTS I'm pretty sure this is a troll.
  16. Ilriyas
    Ilriyas Considering the possibility that this isn't a troll.

    How long do you suppose till someone tells this person that there is no game called SkyRim, and that Blizzard hasn't made a new game since WoW.
  17. TiberiusLazarus
  18. Ilriyas
    Ilriyas

    Doesn't count imo, I meant a NEW game.
  19. TiberiusLazarus
    TiberiusLazarus Bethesda hasn't made a new game since Rage.
  20. Ilriyas
    Ilriyas OK, but I had never made a mention to Bethesda, nor do I really care.
  21. MiracleManS
    MiracleManS
    Ilriyas wrote:
    OK, but I had never made a mention to Bethesda, nor do I really care.

    I think his point was that SC2 has come out since WoW, unless you're talking entirely about Cataclysm (which isn't WoW per say) being newer than SC2.

    Edit on top of things: Or are you talking about a new property?
  22. Ilriyas
    Ilriyas I was talking about an entirely new game (You know not connected to the Warcraft or Starcraft franchise)
  23. Jokke
    Jokke I lol'ed. No, actually, when I read this, milk squirted out my nose. This is just stupid, and no offense to y'all, but: *sigh* Americans....
  24. Snarkasm
    Snarkasm Sadly, it's not a troll. Perhaps even more sadly, this petition (and others submitted with them under the same program), even if successful, will virtually never be acted upon. The successful ones have, so far, gotten little more than thank you letters.
  25. fatcat
    fatcat
    Ilriyas wrote:
    I was talking about an entirely new game (You know not connected to the Warcraft or Starcraft franchise)

    how is WoW not connected to Warcraft?
  26. Ilriyas
    Ilriyas Alright I should've worded that better.

    What I meant to say was that WoW was in a sense the only new thing they've done because they went away from their RTS style.

    Since WoW of course they've done nothing but add onto WoW and/or (effectively) re-release SC.
  27. PunnyFuzz
    PunnyFuzz I wonder if there is a shout we could use here using the words LOT, FUNT, NAH
    I mean, if I were obama and was dealing with much more pressing issues, I would just shout this at my computer screen
  28. Canti
    Canti
    Jokke wrote:
    I lol'ed. No, actually, when I read this, milk squirted out my nose. This is just stupid, and no offense to y'all, but: *sigh* Americans....

    Storing milk in your nose. Why didn't I think of this!?
  29. ardichoke
    ardichoke
    Snarkasm wrote:
    Sadly, it's not a troll. Perhaps even more sadly, this petition (and others submitted with them under the same program), even if successful, will virtually never be acted upon. The successful ones have, so far, gotten little more than thank you letters.

    Sorry to spoil the troll, but that petition was spawned by a christwire article. It's definitely a troll.
  30. Ilriyas
  31. ardichoke
  32. Snarkasm
    Snarkasm It's not a troll - the petition was created by the Christwire people.
  33. ardichoke
    ardichoke Exactly, Christwire is a satire web site. The whole thing is a joke and/or troll
  34. Ilriyas
    Ilriyas Think Snarkasm might be trolling you atm ardi
  35. ardichoke
    ardichoke
    15:47 <@snarky&gt; And my bad, ardi, I didn't dig in
    -snip-
    15:47 <@snarky&gt; Thought Christwire was legit
    15:48 <@snarky&gt; Well, as "legit" as a religious organization is

    He wasn't, but I love his Eurosocialist ass anyway.
  36. Snarkasm
    Snarkasm Hey hey hey, include my clarifications:
    religious fanatical*
  37. CB
    CB Yes, Christwire is a troll, but it's like Steven Colbert. The troll is so good, that it has lots of followers who think it's real.
  38. Garg
    Garg
    Snarkasm wrote:
    It's not a troll - the petition was created by the Christwire people.
    ardichoke wrote:
    Exactly, Christwire is a satire web site. The whole thing is a joke and/or troll
    Ilriyas wrote:
    Think Snarkasm might be trolling you atm ardi

    My brain almost exploded from the meta-troll.
  39. Ilriyas
    Ilriyas And it fits so well.

    Of course I don't go on IRC so for all I knew Snarkasm was trolling.
  40. Basil
    Basil Poe's law strikes again.
  41. Game Blade Just another moron with cow shit for brains,In my opinion the "christian foundations" of this country have been eroding for years. and just as in the past ANYONE who has a normal mind and an IQ over 45 (45 is about that of a rutabaga) can handle videogame content. One videogame changes nothing.
  42. pigflipper
    pigflipper Favorite "signature" from the "petition"

    "a naked guy running around in a field hitting buffalo with a stick trying to capture their souls "
  43. Game Blade Can we just ban retards like this instead, and all Anti-gaming nutjobs in generals
  44. QuadWhore
    QuadWhore "Alduin W" on the petitions just is icing on the cake. ;D
  45. JoeBroken My god its just entertainment! don't like it?, tuff this is america we believe in freedom, not communism over video games! Also who the hell does this A-hole think they are declaring we the american people" I don't remember agreeing to that crazy shmit!
  46. JoeBroken Spiritual-Damage? Its a game! not a cult.
  47. ardichoke
    ardichoke Some people just don't get a troll, even when it's pointed out to them.
  48. fatcat
    fatcat
    Ilriyas wrote:
    Alright I should've worded that better.

    What I meant to say was that WoW was in a sense the only new thing they've done because they went away from their RTS style.

    Since WoW of course they've done nothing but add onto WoW and/or (effectively) re-release SC.

    Diablo is not RTS.

    Your Blizzard-Fu sucks :tongue:
  49. RyanFodder
    RyanFodder Some people even read comments.
  50. Ilriyas
    Ilriyas
    fatcat wrote:
    Diablo is not RTS.

    Your Blizzard-Fu sucks :tongue:

    Granted.

    I've never been one for Blizzard games, perhaps you'd care to re word my statement to something 'Blizzard worthy'?
  51. Frenchie
    Frenchie Most definitely signed
  52. Game Blade UM.....I'm 99.999% sure that Skyrim is NOT a Blizzard product, what this idiot doesn't get is it is made by BETHESDA
  53. fatcat
    fatcat but, that 00.001% is a killer..
  54. Thrax
    Thrax Diablo is sort of its own genre: clicky RPG or dungeon-crawler. Other titles in the genre include Torchlight and Dungeon Siege.
  55. primesuspect
    primesuspect Wow Game Blade. You should become a private investigator.
  56. KonVeger It would be ironic if the guy who sent the message to Obama plays MW3 or something similar. Because hes saying that SKYRIM is the game that 'has proven to cause social, ethical and health problems in people of all ages'. I know its addicting, but jeez. I could see this as a form of trolling, but I don't know.
  57. Jokke
    Jokke What would happen if this petition got enough votes?
  58. CB
    CB
    Jokke wrote:
    What would happen if this petition got enough votes?

    zilch
  59. Canti
    Canti
    Game Blade wrote:
    UM.....I'm 99.999% sure that Skyrim is NOT a Blizzard product

    There was a time when people were sure the Earth was flat too...
  60. Jokke
    Jokke
    Canti wrote:
    There was a time when people were sure the Earth was flat too...

    There still are.
  61. Pacifisto
    Pacifisto Let me just say that I've never seen an actual, earnest organization ask for my favorite jellybean or radioactive isotope in the form to become a member. There's no way that's real.
  62. Rexxar
    Rexxar I find it quite hilarious that this person even thinks that the White House should get involved in dealing with a video game. Apparently he has never heard of the 1ST amendment. "Congress shall make no law… abridging the freedom of speech". It is also not the government’s decision to decide what teenagers can or cannot play. It is the decision of the parents on what they are allowed to play, not theirs. And to respond to his other statement "To seize and destroy all copies already in public hands and erase its presence on the internet." is just plain foolish. You want the government to spend their precious time on getting rid of a video game? That is just sad.
  63. ardichoke
    ardichoke
    ardichoke wrote:
    Sorry to spoil the troll, but that petition was spawned by a christwire article. It's definitely a troll.

    I expect the guests to miss the fact that this has already been called out as a troll... but when the registered members start doing it all I can do is >___<
  64. PV Oh, I just... Cannot stop laughing!
  65. ghbutler
  66. Tushon
    Tushon
    The successful ones have, so far, gotten little more than the previously stated policy being stated again, as if you cannot read.
    FTFY
  67. CrumbleShake
    CrumbleShake Haha, wow. Some of the people in this world make me embarrassed to be alive.
  68. UPSHitman
    UPSHitman I guess I need to hide my copy in an underground vault! THEY WILL NEVER GET THERE HANDS ON MY SKYRIM!!
  69. Osculim Bwaa ha ha man that dude is a idiot. Wish someone would mod his face and the face of his clown buddy into the game so i can chop their heads off aswell. Now that i would pay to see
  70. JBoogaloo
    JBoogaloo I would have loved to see how red-faced, vein pulsating, eye-bulging and foaming at the mouth this guy was when writing this, HAHAHAHAHAHAH!
  71. Kwitko
    Kwitko I really want to close this thread and bury it deep underground, but the stupid responses are too awesome.
  72. ardichoke
    ardichoke The repeated responses to this as if the petition wasn't just a troll makes me sad for humanity.
  73. Quinn I think this guy is an Elf, cause there's a lot of elf hating in skyrim. (Espeshally near riverwood and whiterun)
  74. Quinn oh ya and it's not blizzard, it's bethesda (dumbass)

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