Name My Hot Sauce
Recently I got into making my own hot sauce, mainly because I was dissatisfied with many of the sauces out there. They were either too hot and flavorless, or flavorful but too weak. Most of my sauces are habanero-based. I'm not planning on selling them but the plain bottles don't convey the awesomesauce contained inside. For shits and giggles I decided I would create labels for the sauce, but labels are boring without a company name or a product name. The "company" name is already taken care of: EJJ Hot Sauce after the 3 adolescent squatters that have taken residence in my domicile and claim that I'm daddy or some such nonsense. The sauce itself is made from Florida-grown habaneros, pineapple, carrots, garlic, and apple cider vinegar.
I was going to call the sauce South Florida Special Reserve Small Batch Artisinal Habanero Sauce but that's too hipster Trader Joe's wordy. I need something that conveys that this stuff is hotter and spicier than @Thrax's abs. My first go was Heat Stroke Habanero. Next was Hellbanero, but @GnomeQueen pointed out that the name was already taken. Then again, it's not like I'm selling the stuff. I welcome some better name suggestions than what I have already come up with. Credit will be given on the label.
If Joseph and I can make it to EPIC this year (depends on when we're moving into the new house) then I will definitely bring the sauce. We're going to have to fly this year, but with the miles I've been accumulating on JetBlue, that shouldn't be a problem. But I digress. Names, motherfuckers! Please.
You should call it "Thrax's Abs"
**DAMN HOT SHIT
Seth's Mighty Movement**
Florida Man Fire
"Ow! My balls!"
"Dat 305 Fire"
Florida Chap Sauce
Carrots, Habaneros, Apple cider vinegar, Pineapple
Hellbanero hath no fury like an asshole scorned
Kwitko & The Habenero Electric: Sauce Thyself
Regretful Toilet Visit.
So this would be The Sauce of their Problems?
I'd vote for the Buster Poindexter blend, you know, because it's Hot Hot Hoft
Ring of Fire
I can't Kwitko you.
I wish I knew how to Kwitko you!
Kwitko your Mouth
From a name generator:
Vengeful Infuriated Ass Sauce
Unrelenting Scorchin' Habanero
Seth's Atomic Death Kiss
Grandpa's Bitter Sweats Sauce
Explosive Demon Tears
Seth's Painful Disaster
Seth's Merciless Incineration Sauce
The Devil's Own Ill-Tempered Death Brew
Seth's Combustible Antichrist Sauce
Satan's Raw Hysteria Fuel
Mmmmmmm, I'd put "Seth's Painful Disaster" all over my burrito.
I ALREADY DID THAT CALLBACK
The Devil's Own Ill-Tempered Death Brew does kinda have a nice ring to it.
You're banned. Go home.
You've put it elsewhere, so why not on your food too?
Your name was too long, fam. Gotta keep it pithy.