Did you just ask me if my father was a thief?
Even though there are approximately eleventy billion other guides and slideshows and videos that cover the topic, I am writing this brief guide. Why? Because you gents seem to want to make it so much more complicated than it is. It becomes a huge production; a Thing that you have to deal with, an Epic Quest–when really it should be more like ordering lunchmeat at a deli.
Yes, I did just allude that asking a woman out is both like a monetary transaction and like picking up something at a meat market. Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? But isn’t it basically a transaction?
You ask a woman out; but what she hears subconsciously is this: “I would like to barter an amount of time spent in your company for coffee/dinner/a movie/LARPing.” (Please, though, not that last one…)
Step One: see a woman you’re attracted to, and ask her out. That’s kind of it. She’ll say yes or no. Perhaps she’ll cop out and say she’s busy, or maybe she has actual plans and then offers a different day or time. They’re really just variations of yes or no. If she says no, move on. Women are a dime a dozen. As a woman, I am telling you this.
Don’t get depressed because one woman turned you down–she was probably bad in the sack, anyway. If she says yes, awesome! Don’t forget to actually follow through and decide on details. Personally, I like coffee or meeting for a drink for the first date. That way, if it’s awful, you haven’t committed to an entire dinner or movie or rock climbing adventure. On the other hand, if it’s a lot of fun, you can extend it into something else. Another good thing about coffee? It’s not going to break the bank. And it can be had on an afternoon, so you don’t block off your whole evening when you could be reorganizing your comic book collection or burninating in Team Fortress 2.
An addendum to Step One, because I refuse to have a Step Two: confidence is key. That whole women-like-jerks stereotype has some truth to it. Complete self confidence is so damn sexy–even when it bleeds over into a bit of arrogance. A woman doesn’t want to have to maintain your self-esteem all the time, or constantly reassure you that you’re a good boy and a smart boy and a strong boy–unless she has some mommy-son fantasies she’s working out, but I’m not sure I should address that kind of thing here…
A woman wants a man who knows he’s the shit, and isn’t afraid to show it! Get out there, find that girl in your Physics class/working at the indie bookstore/who lives down the street, stride confidently up to her, give her that sly half-grin you’ve been practicing in the mirror, and ask her what she’s doing tomorrow night. You might just get lucky.
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